VINTAGE GAGE

Fire fighter/Paramedic Roy DeSoto, as usual, was in the driver seat as he piloted the Squad back to the station, Engine 51 following close behind. The fire they had been called out for had been well engaged before the various crews had arrived and it had taken hours to get it under control. The guys were now hungry and tired.

"Boy, calls like that more than make up for the slow shifts," Roy remarked to his partner, rubbing his face tiredly. "I just hope we get a chance to finish eating something before we get called out again."

"Yeah," agreed John Gage, yawning as he settled against the passenger door. "I'm starving, thanks to Chet."

"Uh, oh," Roy muttered, shaking his head. "Here we go again."

Johnny ignored the interruption. "You know, I've gotta come up with a way to get Chet for that salt shaker thing. Do you know that's the fourth time this month he's gotten me with that trick?"

Roy didn't say anything, not wanting to encourage his partner's rant, but of course, that didn't stop him.

"The thing of it is, I don't know how he does it. Take today. You used the shaker before me and it was fine, then Chet passes it over and bam, the cover's loose and my lunch is ruined again!" Johnny narrowed his eyes as he pondered the situation. "I don't know how he does it but I'm gonna figure it out and then, I'm gonna do it to him!"

Roy was only half listening to his partner by this time. He watched as a large semi passed on the
Squad's right. It was going at a good clip as it sailed through the traffic lights ahead of them, the driver shifting as he started up the hill. Roy eased into the left-hand turn lane, setting his blinker, waiting for the oncoming traffic to clear. The Engine pulled up behind him.

"You just watch. I'll get him," Johnny rested his head against the side window. "You can count on that."

Roy tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he shot his partner a sidelong glance. It looked like Johnny was working up to declaring another all out prank war with Chet and Roy, for one, didn't think he could handle that again. He and the rest of his fellow crew members were still recovering from the last one. "Johnny, do us all a favor, okay? Just this once, forget about it, please?" he asked hopefully.

"What? Forget it?" Johnny shot his partner a disgusted look. "No way. Forget it?" He gave a short
laugh. "I'll get him back, Roy. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow…" On coming traffic had
finally cleared and Roy began turning across the intersection.

" …but I'll get him. I have a long, long memory…."

"I know," Roy agreed with a sinking heart. He had been partnered with Johnny long enough to know that his friend never forgot an injustice or a slight, real or imagined. Roy could only shake his head helplessly. He knew that until Johnny evened the score with Kelly, his partner would be spending their shifts plotting and strategizing. He wondered absently if he it was too late to put in for some vacation time.

Halfway through the intersection, Roy was startled by an urgent blast from Engine 51's siren. He
started to brake, checking again for traffic in his lane, hesitated. There were no cars near them. He eased his foot off the brake.

"Huh…?" Johnny didn't even have a chance to react when suddenly there was a loud bang as he felt something slam against his door. Glass from the shattered side window rained down on him as he slipped down off the seat, onto the floor. Then everything went black.

The crew of Engine 51 had been sitting in companionable silence on the ride back to the station, all of them tired and hungry. Engineer Mike Stoker, pulling up behind the Squad, had watched the semi as it roared by. It was going fast but with the incline ahead of it the truck needed the speed to make the climb. Mike turned his attention back to the Squad as he noticed it begin to turn across the intersection.

"What the hell…?" Captain Hank Stanley shot up in his seat, reaching for the siren. Fire fighters Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez, sitting in the rear facing seats, turned quickly to see what was happening. The semi, halfway up the hill, had lost one of its big back wheels. The driver didn't notice and kept going, disappearing around a curve. The tire, gaining momentum careened down the hill, heading back towards the intersection.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion as the Engine crew watched helplessly. The huge tire,
steaming through the intersection, headed straight for the Squad. They saw the brake lights of the vehicle come on momentarily as Roy reacted to the siren blast. Then, with a sickening crunch, the tire hit the passenger side of the Squad, crushing the door. It bounced up, denting the roof before deflecting off and rolling down the road where it came to rest harmlessly in a ditch.

The impact of the tire caused the rescue vehicle to spin wildly out of control, across the road before finally crumpling against one of the light standards. Fortunately, no other cars had crossed its path.

The carnage was over in a matter of seconds but for the crew of Engine 51, it seemed to last a
lifetime. They remained frozen for a split second before jumping into action.

Stanley grabbed the Engine's mike. "L.A. This is Engine 51. Squad 51 has been involved in a traffic accident. We have a Code I times two. Respond another Squad, police and ambulance…"

"Set some flares, Mike!" hollered Chet as he scrambled from the cab.

"Got it!" Mike hit the ground running.

"I've got the hose!" yelled Marco.

"Johnny? Roy?" Chet called out as he reached the Squad, then stopped for a moment, not sure
where to go first. The passenger side was folded in on itself like an accordian. There was no sign of Gage. Roy was bent over the steering wheel, not moving. Gas was leaking form the ruptured tank.
It was eerily quiet.

"Chet?" Marco pulled up behind him, spraying water on the area around the gas leak. He looked
from the shattered truck to Chet, afraid to ask.

"I know. I know." Chet didn't want to think about it either. Taking a deep breath, he reached into the driver's side of the Squad. Roy was not moving. Glass from the shattered windshield blanketed him. Chet reached for Roy's wrist, checking for a pulse.

"Roy?"

"Uh…Chet?" Roy's voice was weak. He winced as he tried to move. Not a good idea.

"Take it easy, pal." Chet patted Roy's shoulder reassuringly. "We're gonna get you out of here,
okay?"

"Yeah." Roy took a deep breath, frowned. "Wait. Get Johnny first."

Chet looked over at the crumpled mess that was the passenger side of the truck. He swallowed
hard, fighting to keep his voice even. "Don't worry. We'll get him."

Roy felt Chet move away. He frowned, trying to listen to him as he called out. "He's alive, Cap.
We're gonna need the jaws to get him out though."

"Right. Stoker, get the jaws. Give him a hand, Kelly." As Chet moved past him, Stanley grabbed his arm. "Johnny?"

The stocky fire fighter shook his head. "Can't get to him. The passenger side of the cab is pinned
against the concrete barrier and…" his voice trailed away. It didn't look good.

Stanley nodded grimly as he headed for the Squad. In the distance came the sounds of sirens from the additional units he had requested. Hearing Roy groan, he quickly reached into the Squad and put a steadying hand on Roy's shoulder as the paramedic pushed himself away from the steering wheel.

"Hey, easy, there, pal. You're gonna be okay."

Roy knew he wasn't badly hurt. "Cap, I've just got cuts and bruises mostly. You've got to get Johnny out first."

Hank hesitated for a brief moment. "Um…let' just concentrate on you right now, okay?"

Roy frowned at Cap, then looked over to where Johnny should have been and was horrified to see the condition of the passenger side of the truck. "JOHNNY? JOHNNY?" he called, his arms flailing frantically as he searched the seat beside him.

"Hey. Calm down." Stanley struggled to hold Roy back against the seat. "Listen to me. We're gonna get you out of here, then we'll get Johnny, all right?" He noticed Chet and Mike were behind him with the jaws. He turned back to the trapped paramedic, speaking softly. "Roy, we've got the jaws here so I need you to not move. Can you do that?"

Dazedly, Roy pulled his eyes away from where Johnny should have been. He nodded, forcing
himself to relax against the seat. The sooner they got him out, the sooner they could get to his
partner. The whine of the jaws starting up filled the air.

Office Vince Howard pulled up in his police car followed closely by Squad 14. Vince hurried to
redirect traffic around the accident while Paramedics Dwayne Duthie and Gino Agnello grabbed
their equipment and made their way over to the group around the Squad. Duthie took one look at the damaged vehicle and felt his stomach start to heave. Man, he hated calls like this where
co-workers were involved. "What do we have here, Cap?"

Stanley nodded at Duthie and Agnello. "We're working on getting Roy out right now. He hit the
steering wheel pretty hard. He's got cuts and bruises and was unconscious briefly. Seems to be
oriented now."

Agnello, busy setting up the bio-phone, looked up at Stanley. "And Johnny?"

The Captain looked at the demolished truck and at the concerned faces of his crew. He shook his
head grimly. "Don't know yet."

"All right! Cap, we're ready to move Roy." Chet set the jaws on the ground and he and Mike
muscled the door open the rest of the way.

Duthie grabbed the drug box and headed to the truck, while Agnello clicked the bio-phone hand
piece. "Rampart, this is Squad 14. How do you read?"

"Squad 14, this is Rampart." Doctor Brackett's reply was swift. He and his colleague Joe Early had been monitoring L.A. County's transmission and were anxious for word on the condition of the injured paramedics. "Go ahead."

"Rampart, we have two victims but only have access to one so far. First victim is Roy DeSoto. He has numerous cuts and bruises and was unconscious briefly. Hold for vitals." Agnello glanced up at his partner.

"Hey, DeSoto." Duthie reached into the cab, checking Roy's pulse and respiration.

"Hey…Dwayne." Roy tried to keep still but he was really worried about Johnny. "Get me out of
here."

"You know the routine, Roy," Duthie spoke soothingly as he put the BP cuff around Roy's arm.
"Can't have you complaining that I didn't do it by the book, huh?"

Roy sighed heavily. "Yeah, yeah, but Johnny…"

Duthie's eyes swept over what was left of the passenger side of the cab. He was shocked but
worked hard at not letting Roy see it. He didn't want him any more upset than he was. "You know Johnny. He's got nine lives!"

Roy smiled faintly at the weak attempt at humor. Duthie turned back to call out over his shoulder to his partner. "Okay, Aggie, pulse is 100 and steady. Reps 20 and BP is 100/70." He shone his
penlight in Roy's eyes. "Pupils as equal and reactive." He felt around Roy's shoulders and chest. Roy winced in pain. "Tenderness in the chest and shoulders."

Agnello relayed the information back to Rampart. Brackett acknowledged. "Start Ringers Lactate
and be sure to immobilize the neck and use a backboard. Transport as soon as possible."

"Ten four, Rampart."

"Uh, Squad 14," Brackett's voice held concern. "Any word on Johnny?"

Agnello looked over at Duthie, who shook his head helplessly. "Sorry Rampart. Not yet."

Marco hurried over with the c-collar and backboard. Agnello joined his partner and together they
carefully removed Roy from the wreckage. They were trying to load Roy into the ambulance but he didn't want to go without Johnny and was kicking up a fuss. Finally, Agnello knelt beside the
stretcher, and looked the paramedic in the eye. "Look Roy, if we have to worry about you here,
they can't concentrate on Johnny, and that won't do him any good."

Roy closed his eyes and nodded reluctantly. Agnello squeezed his arm. "Dwayne and the guys'll take good care of him. You know that." He grinned, his brown eyes twinkling. "Don't you know that we're the second best paramedic team in the county, at least that's what Johnny keeps telling us."

Roy couldn't help it. He laughed. That sounded like something Johnny would say. Agnello stood,
gesturing to the ambulance attendants. "Okay, guys, we're out of here."

Meanwhile, Duthie had climbed into the cab, wanting to check around before Chet got the jaws
going again. Now that Roy was out of the driver's side, he could see where Johnny had ended up. He was trapped under the dash, which had folded around him, along with the door and part of the passenger seat. All that was visible of the dark haired paramedic was part of one arm resting up against the seat. No way Johnny survived this, Duthie thought, sickened by the sight, then his training took over and he reached out to check for a pulse.

The rest of 51's A shift were hovering around the Squad, anxious, feeling helpless as they waited for Duthie to let them know about Gage. Time seemed to stand still.

"C'mon. C'mon," urged Duthie as he palpated for a pulse. It was awkward working in the confined space. "Don't do this, Johnny. Don't do this." Wait. There. A pulse. Weak, rapid but a pulse.

"Oh, man!" whispered Duthie, as he grasped Johnny's hand. He took a deep breath. "HE'S ALIVE!" he yelled back to the others.

His words seemed to break the trance the guys had fallen into. Everyone started moving at once.
Marco helped set Chet up with the jaws, Stanley got onto the horn to Rampart and Mike brought
the drug box over to the Squad.

"Let me in there, Dwayne," Chet demanded, hoisting the Jaws in his arms.

Duthie nodded, started to slide out when he felt a tug on his hand. He stopped. "Johnny?" he called out loudly. He squeezed Johnny's hand. "It's okay, man. You hang in there."

"C'mon, Duthie. Move it!" Chet hovered anxiously at the door.

Duthie nodded, started to move away again. Again, Johnny held onto his hand, not letting go. Duthie understood. Johnny didn't want to break the contact, his lifeline to the real world. Duthie looked back at Chet's worried face. He could see that the fire fighter understood too.

Taking a deep breath, Duthie squeezed Johnny's hand. "Johnny, I hope you can hear me. You're
going to be okay but I need to let Chet in here so he can get you out." He put a smile in his voice. "And if I don't move my butt out of here, he's going to use the Jaws on me first." He withdrew his hand slowly. "I'll be right outside." He paused briefly, then quickly slid across the seat and out the door.

He stepped aside and Chet maneuvered his way into the cab. Hesitating a moment, he reached
down to touch Johnny's hand. "Have ya out in a flash, pal," he assured him with all the Chet Kelly bravado he could muster. Carefully he set the Jaws in place and began tearing the dashboard apart.

Stanley held out the bio-phone to Duthie. "Rampart wants to know John's condition."

Duthie took the phone from him. "Rampart, Squad 14. Gage is still trapped. His pulse is 130 and he appears to be somewhat conscious." He paused. "We'll get you more vitals as they become available."

"We'll be waiting, 14." The frustration in Brackett's voice was evident.

Vince, who had handed off traffic detail to another police unit, came over to Stanley. "What the hell happened, Hank?"

The Captain seemed to be at a loss for words for a moment. Tearing his eyes away from where
Chet was working, he pointed to the large tire lying in the ditch and said angrily, "A huge semi lost one of its back tires. The driver didn't even notice."

"Damn, another one," Vince shook his head. "This type of accident is becoming far too common
now. We've been tying to crack down on trucks with sloppy maintenance but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack." He pulled out his notebook. "Did you get a license number on the truck?"

"No, it happened way too fast." Hank looked back at the activity around the Squad. "Way too
fast…"

Chet worked as quickly as he dared, not wanting to hurt Johnny any more than he was. It was slow going, but finally, the Jaws had pulled apart the dash enough for Chet to reach his friend. He lay curled up in a tight ball on the floor of the cab, not moving. Chet knew he should let Duthie in but he couldn't help himself. He reached down to touch Johnny's shoulder.

"Johnny? Gage?"

Chet was amazed when his friend stirred, looking up at him. He really hadn't really expected him to be alive. Johnny blinked a couple of times, his eyes unfocused. Blood covered his face. Chet
squeezed Johnny's shoulder, and in a shaky voice whispered, "We've got you, pal. We've got you." He scooted backwards out the cab to let Duthie back in.

Duthie moved quickly, grabbing the c-collar, some pressure bandages and the BP cuff that Marco
handed in to him.

"Hey, Johnny. Glad to see you decided to stick around," he teased, trying to keep things calm as he slipped the c-collar around Johnny's neck. The dark haired paramedic frowned up at him, but didn't say anything, wincing as Duthie checked the cuts on his face and applied a pressure bandage to the gash along the hairline. "Easy, Johnny. You're gonna be okay."

No answer from Johnny. Duthie set about getting a BP. "So, you know the routine, Johnny. Can you tell me what day it is today?

Johnny didn't seem to hear him. He closed his eyes. "Hey, Gage!" Duthie called out sharply. "Wake up, man." Johnny struggled to open his eyes. "Stay with me! Now come on, what day is it?"

Johnny seemed to have trouble finding his voice. Finally, he managed to whisper weakly, "It's
um…it's…," he stopped, obviously distressed. "I…I don't know."

"That's okay, Johnny. Don't sweat it." Duthie said soothingly as he continued getting vitals. The
young man was definitely confused. Obvious concussion, Duthie thought to himself, but it's a miracle he's alive.

Chet poked his head in the doorway. "Dwayne, Rampart's on the horn. They want to know Gage's
status." The look on Chet's face said that he did as well.

"All right. Tell them BP is 90/60, Pulse 130, reps 16. Lungs sound pretty clear." Duthie began
checking John's back, arms and legs as he talked. "He's got some nasty facial cuts, including a pretty bad one along the hairline. He's disoriented. Sorry," he said apologetically as Johnny groaned while Duthie was checking his ribcage. "Looks like we've got some cracked or broken ribs here, and a broken left arm. Legs seem okay. Hard to tell from this angle."

"Okay, I'll pass it on." Chet hurried away.

Now that they had access to Johnny, things moved quickly. They stabilized him with IV's and got
him onto a backboard. He seemed to be more alert as they got him into the ambulance, able to
answer questions on where it hurt. The crew from Engine 51 heaved a collective sigh of relief. It looked like their fellow fire fighters were going to be okay.

Stanley turned the scene over to the other Engine company and hurried to help his guys store their equipment, anxious to get to the hospital. He frowned as he noticed Chet was still wearing a worried expression on his face. "Hey, Pal, cheer up. They're gonna be okay."

"But Johnny…"

"Even Johnny, Kelly," said Cap, draping an arm around Chet's shoulders. "The cab must have
buckled just right, kinda like it made a cocoon around him."

"Yeah," Chet said distractedly, unconvinced of something. "But Cap, didn't you notice?"

"Notice what?"

Chet looked over at the Squad, then back to Stanley. "Johnny. He didn't ask about Roy. Not once."

###

Doctor Joe Early examined Roy's x-rays, then turned to the blond man. "Well, looks like your shoulder's just badly bruised, probably from the seat belt holding you in. We'll put your arm in a sling for a few days to give it a chance to heal."

Roy nodded restlessly. His patience's was wearing thin. He had managed to keep still as they had taken x-rays and stitched up the cut on his neck and scalp but enough was enough. "Doc. What about Johnny? Is he here yet?"

Joe shook his head. "I'm sorry, Roy. Last I heard they were still working on getting him out."

Roy's agitation grew. "I should be there. He's hurt real bad, Doc. He needs me."

Joe placed a restraining hand on Roy's shoulder, forcing him to stay down on the examining table. "Hey, easy now." Taking pity on his patient, and to satisfy his own concern, he turned to the nurse. "Anne, could you check with Kel, see if there's any news."

"Sure, Doctor Early," Anne gave Roy a look of sympathy as she left the room.

"Okay, Roy, let's have another listen to your lungs. Take a deep breath."

Roy complied, clenching his teeth in frustration.

###

Duthie and the ambulance attendants hurried through the hospital corridor. Brackett joined them. "Room 1," he directed. He took a quick look at Johnny, accessing his injuries. He was relieved to see that the young man seemed to be in one piece. "Get x-ray down here stat and find Joe Early. Okay, let's move people."

The group entered Room 1 and quickly transferred Johnny from the gurney to the examining table. Duthie gave Brackett an update on Johnny's condition as the ambulance attendants left the room.

"Okay, Dwayne. We've got it from here. Good job." Brackett glanced over at the paramedic. "Roy's in 4. Why don't you let him know that his partner's here and we'll let him know when we know something."

Duthie nodded, eager for something to do. "Take it easy, Johnny," he called out to the young paramedic. He passed Joe Early who was hurrying into the room.

"How's he doing, Kel?" Early grabbed the pad with Johnny's vitals written on it, looking them over.

Brackett removed the stethoscope from his ears. "He looks pretty good, Joe," he said. "Definitely some cracked ribs here but lungs sound good. He's drifting in and out but his pupils are equal and reactive. His left arm is broken."

Johnny's eyelids fluttered are Brackett gently palpated the cuts on his face. The doctor gave him a big smile. "Hey, welcome back, Johnny."

Johnny winced, trying to move away from Brackett's hands. "Whoa. Easy there, Johnny. I'm not done checking you out." He turned to Nurse Anne, who had joined them. "Let x-ray know we're ready for them."

"X-ray?" Johnny echoed faintly.

Brackett smiled as he leaned over Johnny. "We need to check out that hard head of yours." Johnny had a confused look on his face. "You remember what an x-ray is, don't you, Johnny?" Brackett asked, keeping his voice light but carefully watching for his patient's reaction.

Johnny closed his eyes for a moment. "Sure, I know what an x-ray is, but I don't…" he opened his eyes suddenly, looking very lost. "I don't know who you are or why you keep calling me Johnny." He looked up at the two shocked doctors. "Is…is that my name?"

###

No matter how often I've had to wait around a hospital, the waiting never gets easier, thought Stanley as he sat with his men in the doctor's lounge where they had been directed by the staff to give them some privacy. He looked around at his men. Stoker was staring at the television screen but it was obvious he wasn't watching it. Lopez was fixing himself his uptight cup of coffee. Kelly was wearing out a rug with his pacing. Stanley was glad the Battalion Chief had stood the crew down for the rest of their shift. They wouldn't have been very effective on a call with the state of mind they were in right now. He knew that each one of them was relieving the moment of impact, the sounds, the sight…

Stanley glanced over at DeSoto, sitting on the couch, his wife JoAnne beside him. The paramedic looked awful, his bruised face tired and worried. He had tried to get him to go home while they waited for news on Johnny but Roy had been adamant about staying. The Captain sighed.

"Man, why isn't anybody telling us something?" Chet demanded suddenly.

"Easy, Pal. They'll come talk to us as soon as they know anything," Stanley assured him.

"If Dixie were here, we'd have heard something by now," muttered Stoker as he looked up from the television screen.

"Hey, even Dixie's allowed to have a day off, once in a while," smiled JoAnne. She knew the guys were just letting off steam. "I'm sure Brackett or Early will be here soon."

Roy stirred restlessly beside her, obviously in pain. The shot Early had given him for pain had definitely worn off. JoAnne looked at him. She was worried about her husband but hadn't tried to make him go home. She knew how Roy felt about Johnny. She felt the same way herself. So, she had called her friend Linda to take care of the kids and had kept him company during the wait. She leaned over to kiss his cheek gently, careful of the bruises on his face. "I'll be right back, sweetheart."

Roy nodded, watching as she left the room. Silence fell on the room once again, the men picking up their routine again. Roy let out a long breath, wincing as he rubbed his shoulder. He looked up as JoAnne came back into the room, carrying a glass of water. She handed it to him along with a couple of tablets. "Anne says Doctor Early left these for you. You should take two every four hours."

Roy swallowed the pills gratefully. He leaned over and kissed her. "I love you," he whispered. She reached over and took his good hand into hers.

Brackett hesitated at the door to the doctor's lounge for a moment before taking a deep breath and pushing open the door. Immediately, every person in the room jumped to their feet, peppering him with questions.

"How is he?"

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Can we see him?"

Brackett held up his hands. "Wait. Hold on here. Why don't you all sit down and I'll tell you what I know, okay?"

The guys looked at one another before sitting down reluctantly. JoAnne could feel how tense Roy was as he watched the doctor.

"All right. Considering what I've heard the Squad looks like, Johnny's one lucky guy. You too, Roy," he added, looking over at the injured paramedic. "Now, Johnny's got some cracked ribs but none punctured his lungs, thankfully. He's got a broken left arm and some cuts and heavy duty bruising over most of his body but they'll all heal in time."

Everyone smiled with obvious relief at the news.

"Man, I thought…" Chet started, then fell silent. Stoker and Lopez nodded in agreement. So had they.

"So, when can we see him, Doc?" Roy asked.

Instead of answering, Brackett went over to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup, keeping his back to the group. Roy and JoAnne exchanged worried looks.

"Doc?"

Brackett turned back to face them all again. "I suggest you guys all go home and get a good night's rest. You should be able to see him tomorrow."

"Wait a minute." Roy struggled up from the couch. "What aren't you telling us, Doc? What's wrong?"

The dark haired doctor let out a heavy sigh. "Johnny seems to have…amnesia."

"What?"

"We did a CT scan and there's no sign of bleeding or a skull fracture. Amnesia like this can happen when the brain's been shaken, like what you'd get with a whiplash type injury."

"It's only temporary, then?" Stanley ventured hopefully.

The doctor crossed his arms across his chest. "Well, right now, we just don't know. If we're lucky, it'll clear up in a day or so."

"And…if we're not?" Chet demanded quickly. He had resumed pacing.

"We'll cross that bridge when and if we come to it."

Roy started for the door. "I want to see him."

"No."

Roy stopped at Brackett's quietly spoken word. "What?" he asked, in disbelief.

"He…ah.. he doesn't want to see anyone right now."

"But I'm his partner. And I'm his friend." Roy looked bewildered.

"I know but HE doesn't know who you are," Brackett told him gently. "He doesn't remember any of you." He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the strain of the last few hours all of a sudden. There was no easy way to do this. "He doesn't even know who he is. He doesn't remember anything about his life."

"But maybe if he sees me…" began Roy, but Brackett was shaking his head sadly.

"Maybe tomorrow, Roy but not now. He was pretty upset so I've given him something to help him sleep. I suggest that you all go home and try to do the same thing."

There was stunned silence as Brackett left. Roy stood in the middle of the room, devastated. JoAnne went to him. He looked at her, the shock plain on his face. He reached for her, holding on tight.

###

Dixie had started her shift at eleven that evening and had been shocked to hear about Johnny. It was two in the morning before she finally had a chance to look in on him. She opened the door to his room quietly, not wanting to disturb him but needing to see for herself how he was.

The night light above Johnny's head threw a soft shadow over the sleeping fire fighter. He was lying on his back, his right arm resting up above his head. Dixie smiled at that. It was a familiar sleeping pose for Johnny she had discovered during his previous hospital stays. She ran an appraising eye over his injuries. His left arm was in a cast, there were bandages on his forehead and his cheek. Not wanting to disturb him, she was about to turn away when she realized that he was actually awake, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hi, Johnny," Dixie smiled as she moved quietly into the room, not wanting to startle him. Johnny blinked, turned to look at her. Dixie could see how tired he was but it looked like he was fighting sleep.

"H…hello." He eyed her warily, his voice hesitant.

"How's my favorite paramedic doing?" she inquired gently. He didn't answer. He was staring at her intently. Dixie was startled by the sudden lost look that crossed Johnny's face.

Again, that small, hesitant voice. "You…you know me?"

Suddenly, Dixie found she couldn’t speak. She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile as she nodded.

Johnny rubbed a hand across his eyes before looking back at her. It was obvious he wanted to ask her something but couldn’t seem to bring himself to. Dixie could see how distressed he was becoming.

"I'm sorry, Johnny. I should have introduced myself. I'm Dixie McCall and yes, we know each other." She sat down in the chair beside his bed and reached for his hand. He jerked as he felt the touch of her hand but didn't pull away. "I know how scary this must be for you but please try not to worry."

The look on his face at that moment reminded Dixie of a little lost boy, fighting hard not to cry. She sat quietly, holding his hand as he struggled to control his emotions.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, taking a deep breath. "I've just been lying here, thinking things, wondering…" His voice trailed away.

Dixie settled further into the chair. "It must be hard not remembering anything about yourself, mmm?"

Johnny nodded, almost losing it again.

Dixie, making her voice as casual as possible, offered, "Well, I could tell you what I know if you like."

She watched as contrasting emotions chased themselves across the young man's face - fear, nervousness, curiosity, hope. Finally, he gave her a small nod. She smiled. "Well, I might be prejudiced. It seems I have a soft spot for you." Johnny was too uptight to return her smile.

"I've known you for a long time," she continued. "Ever since you became a fireman paramedic. Now don't tell any of the other squads but I always look forward to seeing you and Roy around here."

She noticed the puzzled look on his face and realized her mistake. "Roy is your partner."

"Oh," was all he said. He shut his eyes, exhaustion flooding over him. He forced his eyes open. He really wanted, needed to hear what she could tell him about himself.

"Let's see, where to start." She kept her voice light, soothing. "Well, you're a pretty special person, John Gage. You're kind and generous. You're compassionate and caring. You can be loyal, to a fault. You have an off beat sense of humor and your can always make me laugh." She paused for a moment, noting that Johnny seemed to finally be relaxing. "You're one of the best at your job. Risking your own lives to save others is almost a daily occurrence for you and Roy."

Johnny yawned, quirking an eyebrow at her. "You make me sound like some kind of saint."

Dixie burst out laughing. "Oh, no. You're definitely not a saint. You can be pretty bullheaded at times, a real pain in the keister. Sometimes you obsess over the silliest thing. You drive everybody crazy with it. And I have to keep an eye on you cause you're always chasing after my nurses."

"Sorry," Johnny said sleepily.

"That's okay." Dixie winked at him. "Helps keep things interesting around here."

He smiled back at her, then settled back against his pillow. "Sounds like I'm not such a bad guy," he observed before yawning again. His eyes closed.

Dixie reached up and shut off the light above his bed. "You get some sleep, Johnny. I'll see you later."

He was asleep before she reached the door. She stopped and looked back at him. "No, you're not such a bad guy, John Gage," she whispered before stepping out of the room.

###

Johnny pushed his barely touched lunch tray aside and picked up his wallet. He began going through it, hoping he would recognize something, anything that would mean something to him, tell him who he was.

Nothing.

The whole thing left him feeling very lost. Dixie's words had helped last night but he had hoped that today he would remember things himself.

He pulled out a picture in one of the wallet's compartments and looked at it. He was in the picture, standing next to a blond guy, both of them wearing blue uniforms. He looked up at a knock on his door.

The blond guy walked into the room. "Hi."

Johnny looked at him, then down at the picture. "I guess I know you, huh?" he asked, holding up the picture.

It was a struggle but Roy finally managed to control his emotions enough to smile at his partner. "Yeah, you could say that. I'm your partner…Roy."

Johnny stared intently at him, almost as though he could will a memory to come to him but he drew a blank. Roy waited patiently.

Then Johnny frowned suddenly as he noticed the bandages and bruises on the man standing in front of him.

"Were you….did you…were we in an accident together?"

Roy nodded and sat down gingerly in the chair by Johnny's bed. "Yeah. Sorry about that."

Johnny looked confused. "Huh?"

"I was driving."

"Oh. Was it your fault?"

"No. Some truck lost its tire and it smashed into the Squad."

"Then you don't have anything to be sorry about," shrugged Johnny. "But maybe next time I should drive, huh?"

Roy laughed. "No way, partner. We've had that discussion before." Roy felt the enormous weight that had settled over him since the accident, suddenly lift. He had tossed and turned all night, reliving the accident and worrying about Johnny's amnesia but it looked like maybe his memory was starting to come back. "Welcome back."

Johnny was frowning at him, clearly at a loss. Roy laughed nervously. "You remembered, right? We're always arguing about who gets to drive and because I'm senior partner, I decide."

Johnny was shaking his head. "No, I didn't remember anything. It just seemed like it would be a good idea if I drove after what happened…" His stopped talking abruptly. He could see that Roy was trying hard not to show how upset he was and he felt bad for him. Strange, he couldn't remember this man, but somehow, he felt like he could trust him. It was almost like he felt safe with him there. "Sorry."

"That's okay. I was just hoping, you know?" Roy pointed to the wallet. "Learn anything in there?"

Johnny shook his head, closing his wallet. "No. It's weird. I mean, I can remember how to make a ham sandwich, but," he gave Roy a wry smile, "I don't remember if I like 'em."

Roy could see the fear behind the smile. "You do," he said simply.

Pointing quickly to the brussel sprouts on his lunch, tray, Johnny asked, "Please tell me that I don't like those."

Roy made a face. "No one likes those."

"Good," said Johnny, relief evident in his voice.

Roy burst out laughing and Johnny joined in.

"Hey, gonna let us in on the joke, guys?" Chet's head appeared around the door. He was wearing a big grin. "Nice to hear ya laughing, Gage."

Johnny's smile faded as Chet, Mike, Marco and Stanley came into the room. They were all smiling, calling him by name, looking at him expectantly. He didn't have a clue who they were. Without realizing what he was doing, he shifted in his bed, moving closer to Roy, almost as though he knew that Roy would look out for him.

His partner saw the look on Johnny's face and immediately understood what was happening. "It's the guys from the station," he whispered before calling each of the men by name so that Johnny would know who they were. He stood up, hoping to get them to take it slow and easy but Chet had already made it to the bed.

"So, how long are you going to be dogging it here, Johnny?" Chet demanded, as he plopped himself on the edge of the bed. "Till you get every nurses number, I bet."

"Ignore him, Johnny." Marco punched Chet on the arm. "He was up all night worrying about you and you know how he gets when he doesn't get his beauty sleep."

"Yeah, like you're any better, Marco," Mike joined in the fray.

Johnny smiled uncertainly, looking from one guy to the other. They didn't notice the look on his face and continued joking around.

"Uh, guys," Roy hovered helplessly. He could see how close that Johnny was to freaking out. The guys were overwhelming him.

Stanley noticed though. "Hey, Johnny, how's it going, Pal?"

Johnny, keeping a wary eye on Marco and Chet, barely managed to answer, "O..okay."

Stanley glanced at Roy, who shook his head. The Captain understood. "Uh, guys, why don't you give the guy some room to breath," he suggested. Marco, Mike and Chet exchanged glances and suddenly realized what was going on. They quickly moved away from the bed, standing around awkwardly.

Chet gave Johnny a sympathetic look. "Guess we kinda took over there, huh?"

"Like a bull in a china shop," Marco ribbed him.

They continued chattering away, each trying not to be obvious as they watched Johnny curiously. There were trying too hard to make things appear normal. Johnny was aware that they were uncomfortable, which bothered him. He only seemed to relax when Roy sat down next to him and put a hand on his arm.

###

"I wish Johnny would reconsider about not coming here when he gets out of the hospital today," JoAnne said to her husband as she picked up the breakfast dishes. "He should be with friends instead of alone in his apartment." It had been driving her crazy not being able to visit Johnny, having to hear how he was through Roy. She knew that Doctor Brackett was worried that Johnny hadn't shown any sign of his memory returning. They all knew that the longer his amnesia lasted, the less change there was of his memory returning.

Roy shrugged. "He just wants some time alone and figures maybe being around his own home will help trigger something."

Worry creased JoAnne's brow. "I wish you'd let me visit him. He's like family, you know and the kids really miss him."

Roy drained his coffee and stood up. "We've gone over it, JoAnne. He just finds it too hard right now to see people he can't remember."

"But you see him."

"Yeah, well, I guess we're meant to be friends, whether he remembers me or not." Roy couldn't explain why he was the only one that Johnny had wanted to see over the past week and a half but he was glad that it was the case. It was hard enough dealing with what Johnny was going through, but he would have gone crazy if he hadn't been able to be there for him. He knew how his wife felt. He leaned over and gave her a hug. "He just needs some time."

###

Roy had kept the conversation light on the drive from the hospital to Johnny's apartment, and into the building, though secretly he was worried that his friend was pinning all his hopes on the sight of his home jarring his memory. Chances were it wouldn't. That only happened in the movies.

Steering them down the hallway, he stopped in front of Johnny's apartment door and handed him the key. Johnny paused for a moment, took a deep breath and fitted the key in the lock. He pushed open the door and stopped. He couldn't seem to move. Roy gave him an encouraging smile, stepped around him and entered the apartment.

A moment later, Johnny followed. He stood just inside the doorway, looking around. Roy took his friend's luggage into the bedroom, then waited a few minutes, giving Johnny some time alone. After a minute or so, he could hear Johnny opening and closing doors. Finally, he went back out to the living room.

Johnny was checking out the hall closet. He looked up at Roy, giving him a self-conscious grin. "Guess I'm not the world's neatest person, huh?"

"I've seen worse." Roy paused for effect. "Like Chet Kelly worse!"

Johnny laughed before pointing to the camping gear stored at the back of the closet. "I like camping?"

"Yeah, you really do. Anytime you're bugged by something, you go camping in the mountains and it seems to clear your head."

His partner gave him an odd smile but before Roy could ask him what it meant, Johnny yawned and stretched. "Man, I think it's time for my nap."

"Oh, okay." Roy handed Johnny a piece of paper. "That's my home number and the number at the station. Call me any time, okay? Even in the middle of the night."

"I'm sure your wife would appreciate that."

"She's a fire fighter's wife. She's used to that. Besides, you're a friend."

Johnny smiled. "Thanks, Roy."

###

Johnny spent his first few days home napping on and off. On the third day, he started to go through his mail, trying to make sense of his bills. He realized suddenly that he was hearing something. It took a moment to understand that the sound was someone knocking at his door. He hesitated for a moment, then went to answer it. A pretty woman stood there.

"Yes?"

"Hi, Johnny." She gave him an overly bright smile. "It's me, JoAnne."

"JoAnne?" Johnny gave her a blank stare. He watched the woman's smile start to fade, her lips quivering. She was becoming upset, which in turn was upsetting him. "I'm sorry. I don't…?"

Her voice was barely a whisper. "Roy's wife."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath, held up the dish in her hand. "I know how much you hate hospital food so I made your favorite."

Johnny looked down at the dish then up at her again. "My favorite? You know what my favorite is?"

"Lasagna. Um, it's lasagna."

She knew his favorite food…. Roy's wife knew what he liked. Everyone knew what he liked except him. Johnny stared at the dish in her hand.

###

"I can't believe you did that, JoAnne!" Roy seldom lost his cool, especially with his wife, but he was definitely uncool at the moment. "I asked you not to visit him yet. It's just too much for him. Damn. What happened?"

JoAnne promised herself she wasn't going to cry about it again, but she couldn't help it. "He looked like Johnny but it wasn't him. He didn't remember me…and … he got pretty upset when he realized who I was. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have gone to see him." Tears slipped down her face as she remembered again the look on Johnny's face.

Roy sighed. He hated to see his wife cry, she did it so rarely. He reached out and hugged her close.

"Roy, you better go see him. He was pretty upset when I left."

###

Roy had gone over to Johnny's that day only to find his friend gone. A check of his apartment revealed that his camping equipment was gone as well as his jeep.

It was now four days and still no word. Roy's emotions swung between worry and anger. He had called around to the various campgrounds Johnny had used in the past but no one reported seeing him. Vince Howard had promised to keep an eye out for him. Doctor Brackett had calls in to different hospitals for any John Does. So far, no sign of their missing friend.

It was like he had vanished into thin air.

Sighing, Roy pulled Johnny's apartment door shut and headed down to his car. He had been checking twice a day on his days off to see if Johnny had come back. He walked out into the parking lot and stopped. He stared, a look of disbelief on his face, as he watched his missing partner, whistling cheerily, unload camping gear from his jeep. Johnny noticed him and waved. "Hey, Roy."

Roy stalked over to him. "Where the hell have you been?"

Johnny placed the tent on the ground and looked up at Roy. "Camping. You were right, you know. I do like camping. Got a lot of thinking done."

Roy couldn't believe what he was hearing. Do you have any idea how worried I was, how worried everyone's been?" Roy was yelling but didn't care. "You can't just do things like that. People care about you, even if you don't remember them!"

Roy stopped suddenly as he realized that rather than being upset at his tirade, the younger man was actually standing there giving him a crooked grin. "What the hell are you smiling at?"

Johnny pointed a finger at him. "You," he said simply.

"Huh?"

"It's about time. Go ahead. Get mad at me. Yell. Dixie told me you used to do a lot of that because I was stubborn…well, actually I think she called me bullheaded."

Roy was shaking his head. "I don't understand."

Johnny turned and leaned against the jeep. "You and everybody else have been treating me like I'm made of china, like I'll break or something. Everyone's tip toeing around me, whispering and looking at me out of the corner of their eyes. I know I'm not…me right now but I just want everyone to treat me normal. I just want things to be normal. So when I'm being an ass, tell me. Like this trip. I didn't think to let you know."

Roy looked at Johnny for a long moment, keeping his face serious. "Well, I have to say, that's vintage John Gage."

Johnny laughed, Roy joining in.

Pointing to the camping gear, Roy asked, "You figured all that out on your trip?"

"Yeah," Johnny reached down to pick up his gear. "I thought about what Brackett said, you know, that my memory might just come back suddenly or that I might never get it back. Pretty scary but if that happens I can't stop living, right? And that means that I shouldn't push away my friends." He struggled to lift his sleeping bag, awkward with only one good hand. Roy reached over and helped him, then picked up the tent. Johnny grinned. "You always need friends."

###

The A Shift crew were keyed up, ever since Roy had told them that Johnny was going to drop by for dinner. It was the first time since the accident that he would be back at the Station, the first time they would be all together again. Marco was working on an extra special batch of his chili; Cap was pacing nervously, hoping they wouldn't get toned out on a call, Chet and Marco were setting and resetting the table. Dwyer, who was partnered with Roy for the shift, just tried to stay out of the way.

Roy stood in the kitchen doorway, shaking head. He knew everybody was nervous about the visit, that they wanted everything to be normal. This was an important step for Johnny, and Roy had told them he didn't want any fuss. It was going to be hard enough for Johnny to make the visit without the guys adding to the stress by acting strange.

Roy went back out into the Engine Bay and was surprised to see Johnny disappear into the locker area. Chet noticed as well but Roy waved him off. For once, Chet seemed to understand and went back into the kitchen.

Johnny took a steadying breath as he stood in the locker room. It seemed vaguely familiar but it might just have been wishful thinking on his part. That was a big problem, he was finding. He was starting to have flashes about things but he didn't know if he was remembering things or if he was just forcing memories that weren't real or if he was only remembering things that people had told him. He looked at the row of lockers again, trying to see if he could remember which was his. He shook his head. He would just be guessing.

Roy stood in the doorway, watching him, hoping. Finally, he said quietly, "Third from the left."

Johnny turned, startled. He relaxed when he realized the speaker was Roy. He looked back at the locker. "Brackett says maybe I'm trying too hard."

Roy nodded, said with mock seriousness, "Sounds like maybe he knows you."

Johnny grinned as he pulled open his locker. "Yeah, well, right now he knows me better than I do."

Roy knew that Johnny's joking covered his fear, but the humor was also very much a trait of the old Johnny. Sometimes, for a brief moment, he could imagine that the Johnny of old was back. For a brief moment.

"Hey," Johnny laughed out loud as he saw the Smokey The Bear picture hanging on the inside of his locker door. "Cool."

"Chows on, guys!" yelled Chet from the Engine Bay.

Roy patted his stomach. "You're in for a treat. It's Marco's chili."

Johnny smiled as he closed his locker door, but not before tapping the picture of Smokey. He headed out to the kitchen. Roy started to follow but stopped. He looked back at Johnny's locker. Tapping Smokey's picture like that was vintage John Gage. Roy looked thoughtful as he went into the kitchen.

The guys were enthusiastically greeting Johnny, clapping him on the shoulder, shaking his hands. Johnny seemed relaxed, smiling and laughing.

Roy came in just as Johnny was responding to something Marco had said. "From what I hear, I should be glad I don't remember Chet's cooking."

"Hey, I resent that," Chet protested, trying to assume a wounded look.

"But you don't deny it!" teased Mike as they sat down at the table.

"That's the thanks I get for slaving over a stove for you guys," grumbled Chet as the others laughed.

The ice broken, the quips came fasts and furious. For a moment, it was like old times, the teasing, the camaraderie, the sense of family among the A shift. Roy's smile was bitter sweet as he listened to Johnny and Chet try to one up each other. He looked up to see Stanley watching him, a compassionate look on his face. "Give it time," he mouthed to Roy.

"Oh, shut up Chet and pass the salt." Johnny took the shaker, was about to turn it over his plate when suddenly he stopped, frowned for a moment, and reached up to check the cover. He tightened it before proceeding to salt his meal. He took a mouthful of chili. "Hmmm. This is great, Marco!" He continued eating until he realized that no one else was.

He looked up, puzzled to see that every person at the table was staring at him. "What?" he demanded around a mouthful of bread.

Roy was the first to speak. He pointed to the salt shaker. "Why'd you do that?"

"What? This?" Johnny pointed to the shaker and snorted. "C'mon. It's a classic Chet prank. He's ruined more meals for me with that one…" His voice trailed away as he realized what he was saying. He turned wide eyes to Roy. "No one told me that, did they?" Roy shook his head. "That's…I remembered that?"

"You bet, Pal." Roy reached over and squeezed his friend's arm. "You bet."

"I remembered." Johnny was in shock. "I really remembered something."

Everyone sat there, staring at Johnny, grinning like idiots.

Chet couldn't resist. "Hey, Gage, who knew my pranks were a good thing, huh?"

As one, the entire A shift crew grabbed their dinner rolls and pelted the stocky fire fighter.

###

Roy stopped at the Engine Bay door, watching as Johnny checked out the drug box. His friend was absorbed in his task. The sight of his partner at work still made him smile.

It had been a long two months since the momentous dinner. That first recovered memory had been like a dam bursting open. The memories had flooded back, overwhelming Johnny at first as he struggled to deal with it all. Rest, therapy and lots of camping trips were just what the doctor ordered and finally, he was ready to come back. He aced his recertification exam and was now back with the A shift.

He looked up at his partner and smiled, shaking his head. He pointed to the drug box. "Man, Brice, the original Mr. Anal. Now he's someone who could do with forgetting himself sometimes." He winked.

Roy smiled back. Yeah, life was back to normal again.

John Gage normal.

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