Up A Tree

Johnny Gage took his time tying his work shoes. He had no idea why he had chosen today, of all days, to arrive at the station early. He should be thinking of ways to not be at the station this shift. Instead, here he was, ten minutes early, ten extra minutes of a shift with Hookrader.

“Captain, good to see you.” Johnny heard Mike in the bay as the door to the locker room opened. Mike had the right idea. The time would pass much more quickly if everyone were civil. He straightened up and turned to face the entrance.

“Good morning, sir. Glad to have you with us today.”

“Good morning, sir? When did you start calling people ‘sir’?”

The serious mask on Johnny’s face gave way to a full grin as he looked at the man standing in front of him.

“Stoney! Man, it’s great to see you. What are you doing here? Please tell me you’re here as Captain. We thought we were getting Hookrader.”

Stoney opened the guest locker and threw his stuff inside. “Yeah, well, I got a call at 5 AM asking me to pull an extra shift. Seems Hookrader decided to get some virus the same time Hank decided to take a few days off. So, I’m filling in. That is, if you think you can stand working with me for the day.”

“Are you kidding? Man, this is great.”

Stoney leaned back against the kitchen counter, holding out his coffee mug.

"So, where did Hank go on his vacation?"

Roy smiled as he poured the captain's coffee.

"He didn't 'go' anywhere. When Cap left here last shift, he said something about a few things on the honey-do list, and then relaxing in his lounge chair for about a week."

Stoney almost choked on his first sip of the hot brew.

"He said that, huh? Well, if he really gets to use that lounge chair, it'll be a first. I've never met a man yet, who took his vacation at home, and actually got a vacation."
"I have to agree with you on that one."

The two men moved to the table where the rest of A-shift was already indulging in a box of pastries. Stoney took a bite of a jelly-filled donut, then looked around the group of men. It was the look on Gage's face that made him stop and stare.

"What's wrong, Johnny?"

"What? Oh, nothing . . . I was just thinking. You know, Cap really does deserve a little rest, especially after the last few shifts."

"Some bad ones, huh?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"How many did you lose?"

"Lose? Oh, we didn't lose anyone, but it wasn't because the victims didn't try."

Stoney realized the look on his face must have conveyed his bewilderment, as Mike immediately filled in the details.

"I think what Johnny is trying to say, is that our last few shifts have been filled with unusual rescues."

"Unusual is putting it mildly. You wouldn't believe some of the dumb calls we've been out on." Johnny's voice began to rise. "People are just plain nuts. The stupid, careless stunts they pull … it's just unbelievable-"

"Johnny . . ." Roy tried to intervene, sure that his partner was on the edge of another rant.

"Come on, Roy, you agree with me, and you know it. Heck, even Cap said that some people just don't use the good sense God gave them. They put themselves into dangerous situations needlessly. If they'd just use a little common sense, think ahead . . . maybe get some help. But no, they're in too big a hurry, and rush into a position they can't get themselves out of. I tell ya, there's just-"

Several men sighed at the sound of the klaxons. It wasn't that they were glad to be called out. It was just a relief to get a break from Johnny's tirade.

Stoney grinned as the others raced ahead of him into the bay. He knew that Johnny would probably continue his commentary, but Roy would be the only recipient now. It wasn't that the captain didn't agree with him. He, too, knew how frustrating it could be to see people trapped or injured due to their own ineptitude. But he also knew there wasn't much that he, or anyone else, could do about it.

Lifting the mic, he started the workday with skillful ease. After jotting down the address of the unknown rescue, Stoney answered with the standard "Station 51, KMG-365." Joining the crew in the engine, he watched as the squad pulled out in front of them.

"I hate unknown rescues,” he muttered to no one in particular.

Mike merely nodded in agreement as he swung the engine into traffic.

“Well, the name sure fits,” Johnny commented as he watched the street numbers, looking for the correct address.

“Huh?” Roy asked.

“Shady Tree Lane. Look at these trees! Some of them must be 100 years old. Incredible. Look at that one on the right. It’s magnificent.”

Roy looked toward 80-foot tree, but his attention was drawn instead to the woman running from the yard toward the street, waving her arms.

“I think we’ve found our address,” Roy said as he pulled over and parked the squad. The engine pulled in behind.

Climbing out of the squad, Roy took closer notice of the woman who was running toward them. She was short and wiry, with ink black hair and a straight nose that angled out in such a way to be not unattractive, but distinctive and demanding of attention. She looked familiar, but he couldn’t place where he may have seen her in the past. Despite her small size, she exuded energy, the nervous and agitated kind, as she approached them. And she proved that her arms were all muscle when she grabbed onto Johnny and started pulling him into the yard.

“Oh, thank God you’re here. It’s so frightening. You never think that something like this can happen to your family, and then there you are.”

Johnny tried, unsuccessfully, to extricate himself from the woman’s grasp, but her vice-like hold left him with no escape. Catching Roy’s eye with a look that said, “Can you believe this?” he allowed himself to be pulled across the yard.

“Ma’am… Ma’am… If you could just let go of my arm…”

“We were in the house having coffee when we heard it. I thought for sure I’d find him lying here dead or paralyzed. Please, hurry. You have to help him.”

“Now listen, Ma’am…”

“I can hardly believe it happened. He’s usually so good at these things.”

“Ma’am… Roy, a little help here…” Johnny glared at his partner. “Ma’am…”

Roy tried to stop smiling, but it was difficult. It was more than slightly amusing to watch Johnny dip and twist as he tried the break her hold, while also trying not to trip over her.

“Ma’am, just stop… now… um, please?”

Johnny’s voice was calm, but there was nothing polite about the murderous glare he threw at his partner. It was time to step in. Roy opened his mouth to speak, but the other woman in the yard beat him to it.

“Barbara, that’s enough now.” She reached in and separated the smaller woman from her hold on the paramedic. “Really, you aren’t helping anything here. I’m sure these men are perfectly capable of helping Stubby without our interference.”

Roy wasn’t sure if it was a vote of confidence or a warning from the older woman. Somehow he suspected it was the latter.

Evidently Barbara had little faith in the ability of the LA County Fire Department. No sooner had the older woman forced her to relinquish her grasp on Johnny, than she'd hurried over to Roy and grabbed hold of his arm.

"You really have to help him. I'm sure he knew what he was doing, but something must've gone horribly wrong."

Finding himself the one in tow, Roy didn't miss the look of amusement in his partner's eyes, as they stumbled past.

"Ma'am-"

"One little chore. That's all it was going to be. And it's not like it was something unusual. No. He's done this type of thing a hundred times before! I just don't understand it."

It didn't seem like the woman was even pausing to take a breath, as she continued to speak in rapid-fire bursts, but Roy finally managed to get in half a sentence.

"Ma'am. I'd like to help him, but you have to-"

"He's just the most capable thing, really. I can't imagine what happened. You'll know how to help, won't you?"

His own feet now hurrying to keep up with the small woman, Roy looked back to see Stoney approaching them. Maybe the captain would be able to get through to this woman. Someone needed to, or they'd never find out who, or what, they were supposed to be rescuing.

"Barbara! You must calm down! How will these men ever do their job, and help Stubby, if you keep screaming at them?"

With little patience, the older woman grabbed the hysterical woman by the arm.

"Really, that's enough now!"

"What do you mean, that's enough? I'm just trying to get some help for Stubby. Why are you mad at me?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, I'm not mad at you. But you have to calm down. You're not helping anything. Besides, don't you remember what the doctor said about getting upset? It's not good for you."

Roy was glad that Stoney chose that moment to intervene. Heavy on the soothing tone, the captain tried to get some information.

"Ladies. Maybe you could tell us exactly what happened here."
It was as if the man didn't exist. Roy looked from Stoney to Johnny, and back to the women. Their conversation continued around the men, as if they'd never been interrupted.

"I'm not getting upset. I just wanted to tell these men about the accident."

"But you haven't told them anything yet. You're just babbling on."

“I was trying to tell them, Margaret, but you interrupted me. You’re always doing that, you know. And honestly, I’m getting a little sick of it.”

“Ladies!…” Stoney cut in with authority and a touch of anger in his tone, “You both really need to stop and listen. You called for a rescue. Who exactly needs to be rescued, and where is he?”

Margaret turned to the captain and straightened up, raising her chin just slightly to emphasize the two inches she had on the man in front of her. “You don’t need to be rude. There really is no call for that. Stubby certainly would never be rude.”

Stoney took a breath before answering. “I’m sure he wouldn’t ma’am. And I certainly don’t mean to be rude either. I’m just trying to figure out what you need from us. Could you help me with that?”

As both women started to talk again, Roy and Johnny both stepped back. It was then that Johnny noticed the ladder under the largest tree in the yard. Catching Roy’s eye, he nodded toward the tree, and the two quietly moved in that direction.

The tree was healthy and in full bloom, making it difficult for the men to see much above the lowest branches. A rope dangled from somewhere above, and the end of a large, dead branch could be seen poking through the leaves at an angle that indicated it was no longer fully attached to the tree.

Johnny looked over at the women, still entangled in a dispute with Stoney. He shrugged at Roy then called up into the tree, “Hey, um, Stubby, are you up there?” His question was rewarded with a groan from above. While Roy motioned to the others to come help, Johnny called out again, hoping for a little more information.

“Are you hurt up there or stuck?”

“Both.” The one word answer did little to reveal the situation, but then Johnny figured that with these two ladies around, the man in the tree was probably someone who had learned to say a lot with the few words he could get in.

“We’ll need rope and a sturdy ladder,” Roy announced to the men who had just joined them. “Better get the trauma kit and splint box too. He says he’s hurt up there.”

Johnny looked up into the tree, straining his focus to try to see the trapped man, but with no luck. “I’ll climb up first and see what we’ve got.” It wasn’t unusual for Johnny to offer to be the lead when it came to climbing, but this time his motives were not pure. The two women were headed his way, and he would rather be up a tree than on the ground with either of them.

Johnny watched as Marco approached with the ladder, willing him to move just a little faster. But it wasn’t enough, and Barbara once again had a grip on his arm.
“Are you going to save Stubby? He’s hurt up there. I know he is. We heard him fall. And why else wouldn’t he come down?”

Johnny could think of lots of reasons why the man might decide to stay up in the tree, but none of them seemed appropriate to say at that moment.

“Ma’am, if you’ll let go of my arm, I’m going to climb up there and get Stubby some help. But I can’t climb with you grabbing onto me like this.”

Margaret reached out, grasped Barbara’s arm, and pulled her away. “Oh, for goodness sake, Barbara. Leave the poor man alone. Heavens, can’t you see he barely has any meat on those bones? You don’t want to hurt him now, do you?”

“Now just a-”

Roy didn’t let his partner finish. “Start climbing,” he said, as he handed him the safety belt, an extra belt, and the rope. “I’ll be right behind you,” he promised. Seeing Roy’s expression as Barbara grabbed his arm, Johnny had no doubt that he meant it.


Roy watched, almost longingly, as Johnny climbed up the ladder and into the branches above. Turning to Stoney, he ignored the woman clutching his biceps with all her strength. “Cap, I’m gonna follow him up. We may need a stokes, depending on the situation. I’ll let you know when I get up there.”

“A stokes! Oh, my Lord, that’s like a stretcher isn’t it? I think I’ve seen one before. Oh yes, it is like a stretcher. Do you think he’ll need a stretcher? Do you think he’s hurt that badly?”

“Now, Ma’am,” Stoney assured the woman, “sometimes we use a stokes in situations like this. It might be hard for Stubby to climb down right now, but that doesn’t mean he’s seriously injured. Let’s not borrow trouble, shall we?”

It was Margaret who responded. “There is no need to appease us, young man. If Stubby is injured and needs one of those stokes things, then so be it. You do whatever you need to do for him. Just make sure that it’s enough.”

Chet continued to stare up into the old oak, his focus on the movement in the branches, since he was no longer able to see either Johnny or Roy. Their ascent had taken them nine to ten feet above the bottom branches, close enough that he could hear their conversation, but far enough that he could no longer visibly follow their progress.

However, it was the discussion behind him that was the most interesting. Chet was glad that he’d been left in charge of the ladder, it kept him from facing the women, and given their current exchange, he knew he’d be hard-pressed to keep a straight face. He had a feeling that this would be one of those rescues they’d be discussing around the dinner table for weeks to come.

Johnny could still hear the conversation on the ground as he lost sight of those below. Looking up, he could now see a man’s legs about fifteen feet above him.

“Roy, I’ve got him in view,” he called below. He then called out above, “Stubby, can you hear me?”

The man grunted an affirmative reply.         

“Stubby, I’ll be there in just a minute. Just hang on, and we’ll get you down in no time. How are ya feeling? Where are you hurt?”

“Shoulder.”

Another one word reply. “Okay, well, hang in there, and we’ll take care of it when we get to you.”

Johnny looked down and could see that Roy was now well up into the branches of the tree. Looking up, he saw their victim shift his weight.

“Whoa, up there,” he hollered. “Don’t move around.” That’s all I need is you falling on me!

“I’m fine,” the man muttered out loud. It was still only two words, but there was no mistaking the frustration in his tone. He wasn’t scared, he was annoyed, maybe even angry. Great, just what we need. An angry victim.

The two ladies were arguing again, with Stoney and Mike caught smack-dab in the middle. And Chet didn’t have to turn around to know that Margaret was probably grabbing onto Barbara’s arm.

“I told you, dear, they don’t need any help. You know these men have things under control. And you know, Stubby has great faith in the fire department.”

“Yes, yes, he does. But this time, it’s Stubby that needs help, and I just want to make sure that they’re doing everything they can for him.”

“Well, just look around you, Barbara. They have their own ladder, and two of those young men are already climbing up to help Stubby. They’ll have him down in no time.”

“But he’s hurt! He said so, and when that skinny young man called up to him, Stubby sounded . . well, he sounded very strange. I think he’s hurt worse than he’s letting on. And these men know it, that’s why they were talking about one of those stretcher things. They need to be very careful, especially if he has to go to the hospital. Oh my, Margaret, do you think that he’ll have to go to the hospital? Oh, my . . . poor Stubby.”

“Ladies,” Stoney interjected. “We’re prepared to do whatever’s necessary to help him. These men are the best in the business, believe me.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, we know.”

“All right, then you know that we just need to be patient for a few minutes, and let them do their job.”

“Yes, yes, you’re right.”

Chet breathed a little easier. Though he’d seen the humor in the situation, he also knew that worried family members could be a real nuisance in the middle of a rescue. The fact that Stoney had been able to calm the two ladies, would make things a lot easier.

His relief was short lived, however, when he heard a car skid to a stop near the curb, followed by the quick slam of its door. Without looking, Chet identified Mike as the one who suddenly sounded like a choking victim.

“What the . . .”

It was Marco’s unexpected grip on his shoulder that forced Chet to turn his attention from the ladder. When he did, his own voice left him. The sight of the woman hurrying up the driveway left him stunned. He only had to look at Marco to see that his friend reacted the same way. Stoney was the only one of the group that seemed to be unaffected by the newest arrival.

“Ma’am, can I help you? We’re in the middle of a rescue here, so if I could get you to step back to your car-”

“A rescue? What’s going on here, Captain? Margaret? Barbara? What happened? And where’s your brother?”

Johnny was getting closer. He was coming up behind the man, so he kept talking to make sure he didn’t startle him.

“So, Stubby, what happened up here?” He looked and saw the tangle of rope, the saw hanging from a branch stub, and the sawed dead branch now hanging just beyond the man’s reach, still partially attached to the tree. “Looks like you’ve been doing some pruning, huh?”

The man just grunted in reply.

As Johnny reached the victim, he noted that the man’s leg was tangled in a rope that was also tied to the dead branch, and a branch up above. He was getting a better idea of what had gone wrong, even without being told. It looked like everything had been tied off correctly, but Stubby must have slipped and gotten himself tangled as he fell. Johnny estimated that he must have started out at least eight feet above his current position to have been sawing the dead branch.

“Looks like you took a ride through a few of those branches, huh?” Johnny was now directly behind the injured man. “Stubby, I’m right here behind you,” he said, as he gently put his hand on the man’s back. He felt the man’s shoulders stiffen in response.

“Listen, Stubby, I’m going to try to move around so that I’m facing you, okay? I don’t want you to move at all.”

Ignoring his instructions, the man twisted around to face him. “Gage, if you call me Stubby one more time, you’re on latrine duty for a month.”

“Margaret? Barbara? Are you going to tell me what’s happening here?” The woman’s voice demanded.

“Oh, my dear, you’re back so soon. Well, you see, Stubby’s had a little accident. He was cutting that branch for us, the one that was splitting near the top, and he fell,” Margaret explained evenly. “Now, don’t worry, there’s someone up in the tree helping him, and-”

“There’s two of them up there,” Barbara interrupted nervously, “and these other men have that stretcher thing ready to use if Stubby is hurt too bad.”

“Barbara!”

“Well, they do!” She replied indignantly.

Chet longed to turn around and watch the exchange, but the movement from above compelled him to stay focused on the tree.

“Hurt too bad? How bad is it? Oh, for heaven’s sake, will someone please tell me what happened? Mike? Marco? Chet?”

Her clipped tone made Chet cringe.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but we don’t know for sure what’s happened, yet. The paramedics are up there now, checking on him,” Stoney assured her.

“Johnny and Roy are up there? Oh, thank goodness.”

Stoney’s pause pushed Chet to turn just enough to see the captain’s puzzled expression when he spoke.

”Do you know this crew, ma’am?”

Mike cleared his throat, then stepped forward smartly.

“Stoney, I’d like to introduce you to Grace Stanley, Captain Stanley’s wife. Mrs. Stanley, this is Captain Stone.”

“Captain.”

“Mrs. Stanley.”

Chet watched the introductions from the corner of his eye, but his attention was drawn towards the tree. Staring upwards, he struggled to listen for instructions from Roy, while trying to follow the conversation behind him.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Stanley, but we are in the middle of a rescue here. So, unless there’s some information you could offer about who the victim is or . . .”

“You mean that . . . , are you saying that you don’t . . . Margaret, didn’t you tell the captain who’s up in that tree?”

“Well, no Grace, I just assumed they knew.”

“Captain, I apologize for my sisters-in-law. I believe that the injured man in the tree is my husband, Hank Stanley.”

Stoney’s face was unreadable, Mike’s smirk was obvious, but it was Marco who raised his voice over the sounds of a man gasping for air.

“Chet? Chet, are you okay?”

“Uh… oh… Cap… I… um…” Johnny was left speechless, completely and utterly without the ability to form a sentence.

“Ditto that,” was all Hank said.

The two men were saved from their incoherence by a shout from below. “Hey, Johnny, throw that line over that big branch above you, and I’ll hook up so I can come up in front of him.”

Johnny complied, then turned back to his victim. “Uh, Cap? Are you injured?”

“You mean, besides my pride?”

“An injured pride is a given here, I’d… I mean…” Johnny caught himself almost in time, “but, of course there’s nothing to be embarrassed about – not really.” A grin tugged at his mouth, and the paramedic was glad his captain was facing the other way again.

“Easy for you to say.”

No it isn’t, Johnny thought. “Well, just hang in there another minute, Cap. Roy will be up here shortly. I should tell him…”

“No!” Cap cut him off.

“Cap, he’s gonna figure it out. He will recognize you.”

“I know, you twit, but I want to see his expression.”

Johnny let the tug become a full grin with that thought.

“OK. Well, you want to tell me what happened?”

“Not really. Let’s just say I was injured in a fall, and leave it at that.”

“You mean, leave out the part about needing to be rescued from a tree.”

“That’s right. We’ll just leave that part out.”

“Because, it’s okay, you know. We don’t rescue cats from trees, but we do rescue Caps from trees.”

“Don’t go there, Gage.”

“Cap, I hate to tell you, I may have been the first one to say it, but …”

“You won’t be the last. I know.”

“So,” Johnny figured he’d best change the subject, “do you want to tell me where you’re injured? What’s wrong with your arm?” Despite the joking, Johnny had been doing his best to assess the situation within the limitations of his current position, and Cap hadn’t moved his left arm once.

“Shhhh. Roy.”

Johnny barely heard Cap’s whisper as the other half of the team approached.

“Johnny, I need you to pull me up the last few feet here. I can’t reach the next branch from this angle,” Roy called out, this time only about five feet below them.

Johnny took hold of the rope, keeping it tied off, and pulled it over their makeshift branch pulley system. Pulling Roy up even with their victim, he tied the rope off again then focused on the scene in front of him.

Roy was focused on the task at hand, making sure he was securely tied off since he didn’t have a strong branch to stand on in his position. When he was finally sure that he could keep himself steady and attend to the victim without putting either of them at risk, he looked up directly into familiar dark eyes.

”Cap?” was all he could manage to sputter.

“No, I’m the tooth fairy.”

“Cap, my God, what happened? Are you okay? Where are you hurt?” Roy couldn’t contain himself. “Why didn’t you tell us it was you up here? How long have you been up here? Don’t worry about a thing. We’ll have you out of here in no time.”

Cap looked at his senior paramedic but directed his response to the man behind him.

“See that, Gage?”

“What?”

“That’s how you should have reacted. Shown a little compassion, a little concern.”

“Aw, come on Cap, that’s not fair. He’s the sensitive one, remember?”

Roy quickly caught on to the tone that had been set. “And you are…?” he asked.

“I’m the strong, good looking one.”

Roy just shook his head. “Well, Mr. Muscle, have you begun the assessment of our patient or should I just start from the beginning?”

“I don’t need …” Cap was interrupted by Johnny’s report.
“He has an injury to his left shoulder, and he’s hurting on his whole left side, so he may have a few cracked ribs as well. He’s fully alert and oriented and managing the pain. Respirations are 16 without difficulty. He also seems a might ornery, I might add. He’s already threatened me with a month’s latrine duty just for calling him Stubby.”

“A threat that goes for you too, DeSoto,” Cap added, when Roy opened his mouth to respond.

“It could be worth it.” Roy grinned.

“What was that, DeSoto?”

“Um… I said it could be worse, Cap.”

“That’s what I thought you said.”

Johnny could only imagine the glare in Cap’s eyes from the tone of his voice, and the change in Roy’s expression. Maybe it was time to move this along. “Stokes?”

“Yeah,” Roy agreed.

“No.”

“Cap…” Johnny started.

“No.”

“Cap, it’s the safest…” Roy tried to counter.

“No.”

“Your shoulder…” Johnny tried.

“No.”

“Look, Cap … Hank, don’t you think…” Roy started.

“Yeah, Stubby, you wouldn’t want us to cut corners here.”

Roy just stared at Johnny as Cap responded.

“Want to try for two months, Gage? Now, are you two going to hook me up to that belt and get me down from here, or are we just going to spend the day hanging out in this tree?”

“Stokes, Stubby.” Johnny just couldn’t help himself.

“He’s going for three,” Cap said. “And I say it’s the belt, and I out-rank you.”

“You’re not on duty,” Roy pointed out, “so technically…”

Cap didn’t let him finish. “I won’t be off duty forever.”

“Point taken,” Johnny conceded. “Belt it is.”

“There he is.” Several voices chorused.

“Stubby!”

The low moan held more embarrassment than pain.

“Looks like you have quite a fan club waiting to greet you, Cap.” Johnny chided, as he guided Stanley through the lowest branches.

“Yeah. Lucky me.” Hank groaned.

“Hey, look at it this way. At least there’s no television coverage. Yet.”

“Have you forgotten about that latrine duty, pal?”

Johnny’s laugh filtered down to the group below, As one, they stared up at the man being lowered out of the tree. Mike was the first one to reach Hank, just as his feet touched the ground.

“Hi, Cap. Fancy meeting you here.”

“You mean, up a tree?” Hank replied threateningly.

Mike laughed, as he steadied his captain.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just banged up my shoulder.”

“Hey, Stubby, see any cats up there?”

“Not funny, Chet.”

“Hmm, I thought it was funny.” Chet grumbled, good-naturedly.

“Marco, help Mike keep that shoulder steady,” Johnny instructed from a few feet above them. “We couldn’t strap it too well, up in the tree.”

“Okay.”

Marco helped stabilize the captain’s arm, while Mike deftly unhooked Hank’s safety belt. Within seconds, Johnny had stepped off the ladder, and was helping lower Hank to the ground.

“So, Cap, how’d you get your lounge chair up there?”

“Huh? What are you talking about, Marco?”

“Your lounge chair. Isn’t that where you told us you’d be spending your vacation?”

The others laughed, while Hank merely closed his eyes and slowly shook his head.
“Bunch of twits.”

Roy hurried over, and knelt down next to Johnny.

“How’s he doing?”

“I think he’s okay, but could you take a set of vitals while I check on his shoulder?”

“Sure.”

Johnny carefully held Cap’s arm, preparing to bind it to his chest. He stopped immediately, when Hank’s eyes suddenly popped open.

“What’s that?”

Hank made an attempt to sit up.

“Hold on, Cap, you need to stay still.” Johnny cautioned.

“But I . . .what is that?”

“Johnny, did he hit his head while he was up there?” Chet’s worried overtone didn’t hide his teasing.

“I don’t think so. Roy, did you see any evidence of a head injury?”

“No. Seemed all right to me.”

“Well, he must have a concussion or something like that.” Chet persisted. “I mean, surely a Captain for LA County would recognize the sound of an ambulance siren.”

“Kelly!” Hank growled again.

“Watch it, Chet. You’ll be joining Johnny in latrine duty if you’re not careful.” Roy warned with a grin.

“Who called for an ambulance? I told you I’m okay.”

“Cap, you know it’s standard procedure. And you’re not okay.”

Johnny tried to hide his amusement, but it wasn’t easy. Cap’s indignant expression was too much.

“I am okay, and I do NOT need an ambulance.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No. And that’s final!”

“Hank.”

There was a brief pause, as the newcomer gained their attention.

“You are going in the ambulance. So stop arguing.”

Johnny dropped his head, struggling to keep himself under control. The voice of reason was not to be ignored, but it wasn’t Stoney who made the call this time. He looked up, just in time to see Roy wink in his direction, before speaking.

“Hi, Grace. Thanks for stopping by.”

“Latrine duty is too good for these twits,” Cap mumbled.

Captain Stanley closed his eyes and tried to will himself to wake up from this bad dream, when Barbara pushed her way in between the two paramedics.

“Oh, Stubby, thank goodness you’re okay. You are okay, aren’t you? I should never have asked you to get that branch. I was so afraid it would fall and hurt the car, but that wouldn’t have mattered. I could have gotten a new car. I could never have gotten a new brother.”

“Babs, I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.”

“But I don’t understand what happened. You’re usually so good at those things. What happened, Stubby?”

“Yeah, what happened, Stubby?” Chet repeated the question, “You’re usually so good at those things.”

“You know what else I’m good at, Kelly? Making your life miserable. You want to find out just how good, keep pushing it.”

“Now you listen, young man.” Margaret inserted herself between Chet and Hank. “You need to show this man some respect. I would think that you would know better than to act foolishly when someone is hurt.”

Hank might have intervened had he not so enjoyed the look on Chet’s face as Margaret berated him.

“Really, I would think you’d be worried about being reported to your superiors.” Margaret turned to face her brother. “Don’t pay him any attention, Stubby. You just worry about getting better. And you don’t have to worry about a thing. I can come over to your house and take care of you when Grace goes out.”

“Oh, I’ll come too, Stubby.” Barbara wanted to be sure she didn’t get left out. “It will be just like that time when you were little and you broke your arm and we had to feed you. Do you remember that Stubby?”

“Well, I wouldn’t worry about that,” Hank quickly said over some poorly concealed snickers. “Grace won’t need to go out. Right, Grace?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Grace replied with an evil grin. “I’ve got a hair appointment, and I’ve been meaning to go up to San Francisco and visit my mother. This might be a perfect time.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I might.”

Hank didn’t have time to ponder whether or not there was any chance she was serious. Another conversation caught his attention.

“Barbara,” Mike was asking, “about this name ‘Stubby.’ What’s that about?”

“Oh, well, you see –“

“GAGE,” Hank shouted to drown out his sister. Everyone turned in his direction. “Isn’t that ambulance here yet?”

“Well, sure, Cap. But what’s the rush?”

“We’re tying up resources. Let’s get this show on the road. Grace, I’ll call you when I’m ready to come home. And I mean to our home. Just the two of us. Barbara, Margaret, I’ll call you later. Roy, help me into the ambulance. Stoney, get these guys out of here. Chet, don’t even think it.”

“Don’t think what, Cap?”

“Whatever it is, don’t think it. Roy, John, let’s move it. NOW!”

Johnny Gage took his time tying his work shoes, wondering at the twist of fate that brought him to the station early again. He studied on the different options he could’ve used to get out of this shift, instead of being here earlier than usual, and then shook his head at the sudden feeling of De ja vu.

Tossing his tennis shoes in the locker, he decided there was no use putting off the inevitable. At the end of their last shift, Stoney had warned the crew that he wouldn’t be subbing for Hank today, making the odds high that Captain Hookrader would be in charge of their every move for the next twenty-four hours.

“Great.” John grumbled, as he tapped Smokey’s face then slammed his locker door.

“Morning, Cap.” It was Mike’s voice, from somewhere near the engine.

“No use putting it off.” Johnny mumbled, pushing open the locker room door.

“Good morning, Captain.”

“Kinda formal this morning, aren’t you Gage? I hope you don’t think that flattery will get you out of that latrine duty I scheduled for you.”

“Cap! What are you doing here?”
“Well, last time I checked, I was still assigned as captain of 51’s. You haven’t found a permanent replacement for me, now have you?”

“No. No! Of course not, Cap. I just . . .”

“Morning, Cap!” Roy greeted Hank casually, as he walked out of the Dayroom. “How’s the shoulder?”

“Good, Roy. Thanks.”

“Cap, are you sure you should be back at work already?” Persisted Johnny.

“Now Gage, you don’t think your captain would return to duty without a full release, do you?”

“No . . .no. I mean . . .”

“Time off was too much, huh Cap?” Roy offered, grinning at Johnny’s flustered expression.

“Well, it wasn’t the vacation that was the problem. More of the company I was keeping.”

“What’s that?” Marco asked, joining the group.

“Oh, just telling the guys that it’s good to be back.”

“Women were too much for you, weren’t they?”

“I swear, if I’d stayed home one more day, I’d have lost my mind. I was looking forward to a vacation, but I had something a little quieter in mind.”

“I don’t get it, Cap? What were they wanting you to do?”

“Oh, they didn’t want me to do anything. In fact, they wouldn’t let me ‘do’ a thing! You’d have thought my sisters pushed me out of that tree themselves, the way they waited on me hand and foot. So, I figured I’d come back to the station. Maybe here I can get a little peace.”

There was the sound of laughter, but Johnny remained silent. Though he did manage an unobserved wink at Chet.

“What’s wrong, Johnny?”

“Huh, oh nothing, Cap. Just thinking about your plan to relax in your lounge chair. Guess you didn’t ever get to that, did you?”

“No. No, I didn’t. But I did spend some time analyzing some of our recent rescues.”

“Oh, yeah, what about them?” Roy urged, as the group slowly moved toward the Dayroom.

Johnny could see that his partner was trying to catch his eye, but he purposely looked away. Instead, he studied Chet’s progress out the back door and into the parking lot. Not knowing when their captain was going to return hadn’t stopped the Phantom from planning ahead.
Stopping at the back of the squad, Johnny tried to act casual as he echoed Roy. “Yeah, Cap, what about all those? You mentioned something about people using common sense, right?”

“Yes I did. But after some careful consideration, I’ve decided that maybe they weren’t at fault after all.”

“Uhh, yeah, Cap.” Johnny stuttered.

“Sure.” Mike laughed.

Roy was the only one who kept a straight face as he motioned towards the kitchen.

“Come on, Cap. We’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”

“Sounds good, Roy.”

Johnny stretched to his full height, trying to see over Cap’s shoulder as they rounded the corner. The outside door was just swinging shut, but the Phantom had made his delivery in time.

Cap stopped almost immediately, his face quickly turning red as the others gathered around him. All eyes were drawn to the kitchen table, now occupied by a nest big enough for Big Bird.

“Doesn’t look like a lounge chair.” Murmured one voice.

“Kinda small.” Said another.

But it was Chet’s voice, from behind the group, that really caught his captain’s attention.

“Hey, Cap, looks like you finally found the perfect place to take a nap.”

“KELLY!” Hank roared, over his crew’s laughter. “That’s one month on Latrine Duty, you Twit! Right after Gage!”

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