By Todd F.
Captain Stanley squinted at his clipboard like it was an objectionable item
he had peeled from his shoe. "OK. Next on the list: overtime opportunities.
Who wants to pick up some hours on Halloween night?"
No one said a word.
"All right then. I'll put that another way. Someone has to hand out candy
and give tours if B-shift gets toned out. Chief McConnike thinks that someone
will be us. Volunteer, and make your captain happy. Or stay silent, and make
your captain sad. When I'm sad, the latrine and hoses suddenly look really,
really dirty to me through the tears."
"I'll be there, Cap," Chet spoke up quickly.
"Me too," Johnny said.
"Can we bring someone?" Marco asked.
"I don't care if you bring your goldfish, as long as they are wearing costumes,
smiling and handing out candy. Roy?"
"I'm sorry, Cap," Roy said. "But we're bringing the kids over to Joanne's
sister's neighborhood that night. I promised I'd supervise while the women
shop."
"Far be it from me to impede shopping," Cap said sympathetically.
"Michael?"
"I guess so," Mike said, shrugging. He would rather undergo a root canal
without anesthesia then deal with crowds of people. But his own son was too
young to trick-or-treat, and Cap knew he would be free that night.
"Good. That's settled. Be here Sunday afternoon around three, in costume.
And Chet, can we ask the Phantom to lay off the Halloween pranks? We don't
want to scare the kids."
"I believe the Phantom will be resting up in preparation for a more adult
party later that evening," Chet said. "But if Gage looks as goofy as he did
last year, I can't predict the Phantom's reaction."
"We were on shift last year, ya big dummy," Johnny said. "I wasn't wearing
a costume."
"I guess that was your regular goofy face then," Chet said. He ducked as
Johnny attempted to dope-slap him. Cap used that as his cue to dismiss his
men from roll call.
Johnny and Mike walked in together from the parking lot. Gage was dressed
as Dracula, with a cape and fangs. Stoker was in a Dodgers uniform, holding
a bat. Wound around his upper body was a baby sling. Inside was his 8-month-old
son, Charlie, chewing on a miniature Dodger's cap. Charlie looked happy to
be there. Mike did not.
"Beth got hung up at work," he said to Johnny as they made their way
inside.
"Well Cap did say we could bring someone," Johnny said. "Or at least he said
that to Marco. I wonder who Marco brought?"
They didn't have to wonder long. Marco greeted them in the apparatus bay,
dressed as Zorro. "Hey guys, come meet my date," he said. Mike and Johnny
looked at each other, and then followed Marco over to where a young woman
with a gypsy costume sat on the bumper of the squad.
"Mariposa, this is some of the firefighters I work with, Mike Stoker and
John Gage. Guys, this is Mariposa."
Mike and Johnny froze where they stood. She was gorgeous. Full lips and hips,
a low-cut neckline, hair like European chocolate… Marco broke into their
stunned silence.
"I'm taking her on the grand tour. We'll see you later." He placed a hand
on her back and steered her into the dayroom. Mike and Johnny followed, peering
around the doorway.
"I'm shocked at you guys. She is out of your league, Gage. And you Mike,
you're married. With a kid even!" Chet's voice startled them out of their
Mariposa-worship. They straightened up quickly, and Mike pretended to take
an interest in Charlie's soggy baseball cap.
"Man, oh man," Johnny said. "She is a piece of work."
"Yep," Mike gave up on the pretence. "A piece of work."
"I think Beth would be interested in that opinion," said Chet, mischievously.
He was wearing a skin-colored body suit and a large cardboard barrel with
suspenders.
"Jeez Chet, he's married, not dead. And at least he doesn't look as dorky
as you do right now. C'mon Mike. Let's see if Mariposa wants to, um, check
out the engine or something."
Mike nodded his agreement, and they tried once again to enter the dayroom.
Chet did what any red-blooded single man would do – he followed them.
"Where exactly are you headed?" said a voice from behind them. It was Cap
this time.
The trio froze. Johnny's plastic fangs hung askew from his lips. Charlie
chortled and tossed his little baseball cap at the floor. Captain Stanley
picked it up and handed it to a red-faced Mike Stoker. "Lose something Michael?"
Cap asked, his voice dripping with scarcasm. "Come on men, we've got some
candy to hand out."
He led them out front, where a table and some chairs had been set up under
the flag pole. Three large bowls of candy took up much of the space on the
table.
"Sit," Cap said. The three men sat.
"Smile and pass out candy." No one smiled.
"That's an order," Cap said. The three men smiled. "Good. I'll check on you
guys later. I'm helping Marco give the grand tour to his girlfriend."
Their mouths dropped open as Captain Stanley walked off. Some guys had all
the luck.
Two hours later, Mike and Chet were cranky. The kids who had come by so far
were annoying and ungrateful. Also, Johnny was getting on their nerves. He
just wasn't good at sitting still, and the handfuls of candy he'd eaten were
not going very far toward calming him down.
To make matters worse, Beth hadn't shown up yet. Charlie was getting restless
in his dad's grasp.
"I don't know who's worse, Charlie or Gage," Chet said irritably. "Maybe
we should send them both off somewhere."
Mike looked a little put out, but didn't say anything. Chet was right.
"Fine. I'll take a walk then," Johnny said, equally irritably. "C'mon Charlie.
I know when we're not wanted." He took the baby from a grateful Mike, and
walked down the side driveway toward the back of the station, his Dracula
cape swirling behind him.
"You're letting that disaster magnet take your kid?" Chet asked Mike. "You'd
better hope Gage's fundamental gullibility doesn't rub off on him."
"Gullibility? You're sitting outside naked in a barrel on your day off."
"Yeah, but…" Chet paused, then shut his mouth. Maybe Mikey had something
there.
"Hey mister," a small, echo-y voice said from almost under the table. Mike
and Chet stood up and looked down. It was a set of identical twin girls,
dressed as Robin and Maurice Gibb. Mike and Chet would have never guessed
that on their own; the giveaway was the signs hanging from each child's neck
proclaiming who they were.
"Hey, I love the Bee Gees!" Chet said, and gleefully started singing "I Just
Want To Be Your Everything," at the top of his lungs.
"Kelly, wrong Gibb," Mike said, embarrassed.
"Yeah, that's Andy Gibb, you big dumb naked guy. Are you a firefighter?"
the mini-Maurice Gibb directed the question to Mike.
"Yep."
"Is he?" she asked, indicating Chet, who was contorting himself to scratch
an inaccessible itch.
It was time to liven up the evening. Mike leaned closer to the girls and
whispered, "I have no idea who he is. I think he's from the local insane
asylum. He demanded candy, and I didn't want him to hurt me, so I said OK."
The girls backed away from the table fearfully and ran to their parents who
were waiting by the curb.
Chet had given up on the itch and was once again paying attention to the
kids. "Huh. I wonder why they ran off like that?" Chet asked.
Mike shrugged.
Johnny and Charlie were out back, playing with the basketball. Or rather
Johnny was playing with the basketball -- rolling it on the ground to Charlie,
who sat on the pavement and swatted at it occasionally.
The tones went off, and a startled Charlie tipped over. His cries could be
heard over the klaxons.
"Station 51. Child hit by car.
82nd and Central. 82nd and
Central. Time out, 17:45."
Johnny shook his head and scooped up Mike's crying child. He found himself
wishing he could hop on the squad and go with B-shift. It was hard to ignore
instinct and let someone else roll with the tones.
Mike and Chet shooed a group of kids away as the squad and
engine pulled out.
"Your kid is crying. I bet Gage dropped him."
Mike glared at Chet. He was considering whether to rescue his son when Johnny
walked through the open bay doors.
"He's fine. The noise just got to him," Johnny said, jostling Charlie up
and down. "You can have him back, though."
Mike took the baby and headed into the station, leaving Johnny and Chet to
annoy each other. There had to be some way to get out of candy duty for a
while. He walked into the dayroom, where Cap, Marco and Mariposa were sitting
and relaxing with cups of coffee.
Mike took his chance. "Thanks for saying you'd take over at the candy table
for a while," he said to Marco. Then he turned to Mariposa. "Marco's really
generous when it comes to volunteering. He never says no to anyone"
Bingo! Mariposa looked at Marco, eyes shining with admiration. Marco pasted
on a smile and spoke through gritted teeth. "Yeah, that's me. Generous. C'mon
Mariposa, let's go outside."
After they walked out the dayroom door, Cap turned to Mike. "Michael, that
was amazing. I bow to the master."
Mike smiled back and set about preparing a cup of juice for Charlie.
A group of costumed kids came by wanting a tour. Johnny and Chet drew the
short straw. They brought the group into the dayroom, where Mike and Charlie
were enjoying a quiet cup of juice.
"A kitchen? Man, this is boring," said one kid who was dressed up as the
shark from Jaws. "Where's the fire trucks?"
"The engine and squad are out on a call right now," said Johnny through clenched
teeth.
"But we can show you our station mascot," Chet piped up. "Here's Henry. He
can do tricks, you know."
"Daddy says fire stations have Dalmatians," said a little girl wearing a
princess dress that was about five sizes too big for her. "This dog is too
slobbery and fat."
"Hey! You're going to hurt Henry's feelings, ya know," Chet jumped to the
defense of his favorite mutt.
As Chet and Johnny tried to engage the kids' enthusiasm, a boy in a cowboy
costume saw Mike sitting with Charlie. "Hey, cool Dodger's uniform," the
cowboy said.
"Thanks. Come here kid," Mike beckoned in a low voice. "You know the naked
guy in the barrel there?" he whispered.
"Yeah," the kid said.
"He's really hot in that barrel. He'd love if you poured that pitcher of
water down his back." Mike indicated a pitcher of ice water B-shift had left
behind.
"OK," said the cowboy.
"But make it a surprise. He loves surprises," Mike whispered
conspiratorially.
"OK," agreed the cowboy. He grabbed the pitcher, and waited until Johnny
and Chet were leading the group into the dorm. As they disappeared around
the corner, Mike heard, "Aagghh! God damned kid!"
He smiled at Charlie. "Are you taking notes kiddo?" he asked as the baby
snuggled contentedly into his dad's Dodger's uniform.
Mike was back outside at the candy table when Beth finally arrived. "I'm
really, really sorry," she said as she picked up a sleeping Charlie. "Things
got crazy at the clinic. I hope you found some way to keep yourselves
amused."
"We managed," Mike said.
A familiar noise made him turn his head. Engine 51 was pulling in. B-shift
engineer Anton Kablevsky brought Big Red to a stop and slowly got out with
his crewmates.
"Hey Mike," he said, walking over and leaning against the flag pole. "It
was a bad one, man. Trick-or-treater hit by a car. Don't think he's going
to make it."
Mike shook his head in sympathy. Anton headed back inside, and Mike got ready
to walk Beth and Charlie to the car.
"Gage?" he called.
"Yeah Mike?" Johnny's voice carried from the back lot where he and Marco
were taking a basketball break.
"Man the candy table for me?"
"Sure," Johnny yelled back.
"See that empty bowl?" Mike said to Beth, pointing at the table.
"Yes," she said.
"It had a whole bag of tootsie rolls in it. Guess where those tootsie rolls
are now? The bottomless pit." He motioned toward Johnny's direction with
his eyebrows. Beth started to laugh.
Johnny sat down at the table. "What's so funny?" he asked.
"Nothing," Beth giggled.
Mike bent over to tie his shoe, then got up to walk his family to the car.
He passed Captain Stanley on his way out back. "Hey Cap. I think Gage is
asleep," he said.
Captain Stanley looked alarmed and ran out front. "Gage," he growled. Johnny
jumped up from the chair, and the bowls of candy on the table went flying.
The commotion carried out to the back lot.
"What was that all about?" Beth asked as she secured Charlie in his car
seat.
"I guess I accidentally tied Johnny's Dracula cape to the table leg while
I was tying my shoe," Mike replied. "Then I accidentally arranged for Cap
to startle him." He leaned against Marco's car.
"Accidentally my ass," she said, with an understanding smile.
The men of A-shift, what was left of them, sat at the dayroom
table with B-shift's engine crew. The last trick-or-treaters were long gone.
Chet's soggy cardboard barrel sat in the corner of the room, along with Johnny's
black cape. B-shift's captain was in his office.
Mike, Chet and Johnny started an impromptu poker game using the left-over
candy as money. Anton and the rest of the B-shift engine crew joined in.
Marco and Mariposa sat on the couch and whispered in each other's ear.
Captain Stanley got up to leave, saying he had more than paid his debt to
McConnike.
"If we aren't on shift next Halloween, I'm going to arrange it so we are.
I can't believe you twits couldn't even pass out candy without getting into
trouble." With those parting words, Cap left the building.
Shortly afterwards, the squad returned. Paramedics Brian Gorman and Macky
Roland walked into the dayroom, shoulders slumped in defeat.
"Kid didn't make it?" Anton asked.
Macky shook his head. He grabbed a handful of candy from the table and the
pair headed out back to decompress with a game of one-on-one. The assembled
firefighters let a moment of silence wash over them before resuming their
game.
"I think we're going to go now," Marco said, getting up from the couch and
extending a helping hand to Mariposa.
"It was nice meeting you all. Happy Halloween," she said to the group, the
first words they had heard her utter all night. The couple left the room,
and six pairs of eyes followed her backside as it sashayed out.
"Man, she's something else," Johnny said.
"How'd Marco get her to go out with him?" Anton asked.
"Beats me," Chet said. "One minute he tells me his sister is fixing him up
with someone. Next minute, well, you saw her. And them. He's got the hots
for her bad."
Johnny opened his mouth to speak and was interrupted by a yelp from the parking
lot that traveled through the still-open station.
"Dammit Chet," Marco's voice blasted. "I'm gonna kill you."
"What? What did I do?"
Marco walked into the dayroom, with a disheveled Mariposa in tow. "You know
damn well what you did. Turning on the radio, the lights, the wipers and
the heat full blast so when I started the car everything would scare the
shit out of us at once. Not funny. Not funny at all." The couple stormed
back out of the room.
The rest of the guys looked at Chet. "Oh man, he's gonna get you bad," Johnny
said with a smirk.
"Messing with a guy when he's got a new girl. That's low," Anton said.
"But I didn't do it! Honest!" Chet protested. "Mikey, you know I didn't do
it; I was with you or Gage all night. The Phantom is resting up for later
tonight."
Mike stood up. "Chet, you're on your own. I'm heading home." Chet's face
fell.
"So, did you have any fun tonight?" Anton asked his fellow engineer.
Mike shrugged. "I tried," he said, and walked out the door.
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