"Are you sure about this place, Johnny?" Roy asked nervously.
"Of course I'm sure, Roy. This place was recommended to me by two completely different people. They say it's very clean and uncrowded so I figured it would be the prefect place for the annual station picnic. What could possibly go wrong? You worry too much, Roy," Johnny scoffed as he pulled his Land Rover off the main road and onto a secondary road.
"Johnny, this road isn't even paved. Are you sure you're not getting us lost?"
"Man, you have turned into such an old lady. You weren't always like this."
"True. Before I met you I was fairly normal."
"Har har."
"So, who were these people that you heard about this place from?" Roy tried to sound conversational. It didn't do to further antagonize a madman.
"Brice was one, all right? He heard about it from his new friend Red."
"Oh well, Brice probably knows what he's talking about," Roy tried to convince himself.
"Sure and he's working today so we won't be running into him -- it's perfect. Hey, wait a minute. Brice knows what he's talking about and I don't?!!!"
"I didn't say that, Johnny," Roy tried to sidestep one of Johnny's tirades. "Ah, who was the other person?"
"What other person?" Johnny fumed.
"The other person that recommended this place."
"Oh that was my neighbor Jonesie. She even dared me to have the station picnic here. Imagine, daring me. I like Jonesie okay, but sometimes she is one really wild chick."
"That why you didn't ask her to come along as your date?"
"Course not. No chick wants to be dragged to a company picnic. Man, Roy you have so much to learn about women!"
"No need. I already have one. You seem to be the one that's floundering."
"Floundering?! Is that what you call it? I mean, just because I didn't marry my grade school sweetheart. This is one guy who plans to live a little before getting shackled and you can take that to the bank, Pal."
Roy let him mutter. He didn't like the looks of this place and they hadn't even seen it yet. He had a bad feeling about this. That was why he had insisted upon coming early to help Johnny set up. He wanted to check this place out before Joanne and the kids arrived.
To Roy's amazement, when they finally found the place it was everything that Johnny had promised. He let Johnny gloat as he helped him set things up. It was a beautiful day. The place was spotlessly clean and uncrowded. They found a large space right on the beach. It was a safe place for the kids to play. There were adequate picnic tables and the cooking grills were clean and in good working order. He still had nagging doubts but he tried to ignore them.
"This place is so perfect," Johnny bragged. "I almost expect to see one."
"See what?"
"A deer or an elk."
"Why would you expect to see wild game at a beach?" Roy hardly dared ask.
"This place is named after them."
"Who?"
"Either deer or elk. I'm not sure which. It's called White Tail Park."
Roy dropped his side of the heavy cooler they were toting down to the picnic area. He hoped he had heard wrong but the couple he spotted farther down the beach confirmed his fears. That twit Gage had set up the Station picnic at a Nudist Colony!!!!
Johnny dropped his half of the cooler. "Will you look at that!" he gasped. "Aren't they afraid they'll be arrested?"
"No, but I am," Roy snarled.
"You?! What for?" Johnny laughed.
"How does homicide sound? Johnny, of all the bonehead things you've ever pulled -- and you've pulled some doozies -- this is the worst!!!"
"Roy, what are you talking about?" Johnny was defensive.
"What does that sign over there say --ya -- ya twit!!!"
They had already passed the sign several times but neither of them had bothered to read it. It said: WHITE TAIL PARK. CLOTHING OPTIONAL.
Roy wasn't exactly sure how the charcoal lighter got from his back pocket and into his hand. He was pretty sure he wouldn't have really ignited his partner but when Johnny instinctively ran he instinctively chased him. The first thing he was really aware of was Johnny climbing a nearby tree. Then suddenly the rest of A Shift seemed to magically appear before he could get up the tree himself. They pulled him back and the Cap took the lighter from him.
"Hold it, Roy. We're supposed to be in the business of stopping fires NOT starting them," Cap cautioned.
"Cap!!!" Roy panicked. "We have to stop Joanne and the kids and your wife and kids from coming down here!!!"
"Don't worry, Roy! No one else is coming."
"What are you talking about? We've been planning this for ages. We worked a double shift last weekend so C-Shift could have their picnic and they are working a double shift this weekend so we can have ours -----"
"Hey, easy, Roy. You're hyperventilating," Chet stopped laughing long enough to say.
"You! You're behind this some how -- you set him up!!"
"Not me, Pal. He did this all by himself."
"Well, you did know about White Tail Park and you never said anything," Cap accused Chet.
"Don't look at me like that, Cap. Everyone knows what White Tail really means," Chet defended himself.
"Well, I found out when, for the first time in ages, my son agreed to come to the picnic with no backtalk."
"And you didn't tell me!!!" Roy was shocked.
"We wanted see if you were in on the set-up," Chet explained.
"What set-up?" Roy was feeling dizzy.
"Gage's trick."
"What trick?"
"Booking the picnic here. You're not trying to tell me he didn't KNOW?!!" Chet thought this was an even better situation.
"He thought it was named after a deer."
"If he's not going to kill me, how about helping me down?" Johnny called to them from near the treetop.
The rest of the crew looked at each other and slowly began backing away from the tree.
"Hey, where are you guys going?" Johnny called desperately.
"We're going to the picnic, which is actually at my house now. Don't worry though, Gage, we'll call it in and they'll send someone from the Fire Department to get you down," Cap called over his shoulder.
"CAP! ROY!" Johnny's voice faded away as they all went to the campsite and picked things up and took them back with them to the parking area.
They packed everything, including themselves, into Cap's car.
"Don't worry, he's like a cat. He'll come down eventually," Chet said as they got ready to pull out.
Cap counted noses from force of habit. "Where's Stoker?"
"Beats me, Cap but his clothes are hanging over that tree," Marco giggled.
"It's always the quiet ones," Cap muttered as he started the car. "Guess he can catch a ride with Gage. Sometimes, I hate being the captain......"
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