Editor's Note: Another adoptee from Code Red
Author’s note: This story was inspired (for better or for
worse is for you, gentle reader, to decide) by a challenge posted on Jane’s
page. The phrase"...roving gangs of mutant kangaroos" caught my eye, and
here is the result. This story also refers to events in the story
"Chris’ History
Lesson" which is archived on The Classic E Archive. I also apologize
to Barry Manilow/Bruce Johnston, and The Angels.
"Listen up, men," directed Hank Stanley as he conducted the morning roll call. "This announcement comes from the Chief’s office. As you know, the annual summer picnic is coming up. There’s something new this year, so they’re calling it the ‘First Annual L. A. County Fire Fest’. In addition to the picnic and the athletic events, the department is sponsoring a talent contest and art show." He looked at the assembled firefighters. "Seems the Chief was impressed by our attempt to illustrate what makes a ‘well-rounded’ firefighter during that reporter’s visit. So he wants the whole department to participate. Deadline for entries is six weeks from today. Any questions?"
"What kind of talent acts are they looking for?" asked Marco.
Hank scanned the memo. "It suggests singing, dancing, stand-up comedy...stuff like that. Says here that some of our firefighters actually work part-time as actors, so there’s a special category for best short film." He scanned the group. "Anybody feel like Cecil B. Demille?"
"More like Cecil B. DeSoto if you ask me," Chet muttered to Marco.
"What was that, Kelly?" asked Hank. "Maybe you’d like to share it with the rest of us."
"I just said that it should be Cecil B. DeSoto, Cap," said Chet. "Roy made a movie, not too long ago. Marco and Gage were in it"
Hank looked surprised. "Roy? You guys made a movie?"
Roy gave Chet a dirty look. "No, Cap. Johnny and Marco helped my son make a film for a class project. Joanne and I were away for the weekend. Johnny here," Roy pointed his thumb at his partner, "was the real brains behind it all."
Hank turned his attention to Johnny. "What kind of a film was it?"
"It...was...a historical piece," stammered Johnny. He glared at Roy. "It was my uncle’s idea. Chris and the kids did all the work. Marco and I helped out where we were needed."
Hank raised his eyebrows. "What grade did Chris get on the project?"
"He got an ‘A’, Cap," said Roy, as he half-smiled at Johnny.
"You made a movie that got Roy’s kid an A?" Hank stood in front of Johnny. "We may have something here." Hank rubbed his chin. "What little piece of history did you illustrate?"
"Custer’s Charge at the Little Bighorn," John reluctantly admitted.
Hank looked stunned. "You re-enacted the Battle of the Little Bighorn?"
"Only a part of it Cap," interjected Marco. "There was only so much room in Roy’s yard." He shot a sympathetic look towards Johnny.
"You mean... not only did you re-enact a major military battle, but you did it in DeSoto’s yard?" A smile played across Hank’s face. "You guys are GENIUSES!" He clapped his hands together. "Of course, I’ll have to see this movie first, before we start production of our own."
John blanched. "Ahh, Cap?"
"You can learn from your mistakes so our film will win the competition," continued Hank. "Roy, see if Joanne can drop off a copy today."
"Yes, Sir," answered Roy.
"Umm, Cap?" asked Johnny.
"What are you waiting for, DeSoto?" Hank asked. "Call her! The sooner she gets here, the better!" He looked at Johnny. "What is it, John?"
"Right, Cap," said Roy. He darted into the kitchen.
"Cap, I hate to throw a monkey wrench into your plans," Johnny said tentatively, "but where are we going to get film and a movie camera?"
Hank thought for a moment. "My neighbor has a good camera he uses for his home movies. Emily and I have sat through hours upon hours of his vacation and party films. He owes me. I’m sure he’d love to film something he can be proud of." Hank paused for a minute. "Stoker, do we still have the projector we used for those training films?"
"Yes, Sir," answered Mike. "We stowed it in the weight room."
"Dig it out," ordered Hank. "We’ll need it to watch Gage’s movie." Hank smiled. "Last year, everybody laughed when we lost the softball tournament. We had to cough up all that beer money. Remember, Johnny?"
"Yes, Sir," Johnny replied weakly.
Hank shook his head. "They won’t laugh this year. No, siree. Gage, this is your chance to redeem yourself!"
Johnny shot a helpless glance at Marco. "I don’t think anybody’s going to laugh this year," he said aloud. "Especially me," he said under his breath.
Roy returned to roll call. "Joanne said she’d try to find it for us."
"Um, Cap," said Johnny hesitantly.
"What is it now, John?" said Hank impatiently. He put his hands on his hips. "I’m beginning to think you’re not totally behind this project. You can’t hold out on us, Pal."
"Well, I hate to put a crimp in your plans," said John, "but to do the Custer thing again would take a lot of people, not to mention horses. I’ve only got two. We had the Indian Guides and the Cub Scouts to make Chris’ movie, but we obviously can’t use them for this project. The other guys would really laugh at us." John paused. "We also don’t have money to hire extras. My family helped out, but they’re not here now."
"You’ve got a point there." Hank thought for a minute. He shrugged his shoulders. "This film has to be something that the six of us, and maybe a few willing relatives can do in a hurry. Nobody said we had to do a war movie. There are a lot of other types out there." Hank tapped his chin. "We just have to think of the right one."
"What about a comedy?" suggested Chet.
"You’re a walking comedy, Kelly," muttered Johnny.
"How about a horror movie?" suggested Marco.
"Why not," said Chet. "It’s Gage’s turn to cook. I can see the title sequence now, ‘It started out as ordinary hamburger. It ended up as ‘Meatloaf of the Damned!"
"Chet!" protested Johnny as the rest of the crew laughed. "My cooking isn’t that bad. At least it’s better than ‘The Irish Stew That Sank Lower Than The Titanic."
"Come on, Gage," said Chet. "You’ve got the wrong attitude about this whole thing. It could be a lot of fun!"
"Why not a drama or an action movie?" suggested Stoker.
"That’s a great idea, Mike," said Hank. "Heroes are big right now, with that Superman flick and Star Wars. One of us could be a superhero. But who?"
"Chet’s already got his alter-ego, the Phantom," suggested Marco. "We could...
Marco’s words were cut off by the alarm tones. "Station 51. Unknown-type rescue. 1555 Hazelton Place. One-five-five-five- Hazelton Place. Cross street Meridian. Time out 0830."
The guys rushed to their vehicles. Hank activated the door and picked up the microphone. "Station 51, 10-4. KMG-365." He handed a slip of paper to Roy, and trotted to the engine.
###
"I am going to kill Chet," said Johnny as the squad sped towards the call.
"Why?" asked Roy. "He was trying to pin the whole movie thing on me."
"Yeah," scoffed Johnny. "Thanks for the help back there. Now Cap has me directing this....farce. I should have kept my mouth shut and never asked Chris about his project. But nooo, I said something like, ‘too bad there aren’t any good movies to show your class,’ and it just got out of control." Johnny shifted in his seat as the squad turned a corner. "There was no turning back, and I couldn’t disappoint him."
"Chris got a lot out of it," said Roy, "and our rose bushes have never looked better." He smiled at his partner. "Our neighbors actually talk to each other now." Roy shrugged. "I couldn’t lie to Cap. I wonder what he has in mind."
"Look," Johnny pointed to a dark-haired woman who appeared to be in her early twenties. She waved to the squad as it approached. The squad and engine stopped in front of a newer-looking warehouse.
"L.A., Station 51 at scene," John heard the Cap over the radio.
The woman approached the squad as John and Roy got out and retrieved some of their equipment. "I’m glad you’re here. It’s my friend Harvey. He’s inside. He fell and we can’t move him."
John, Roy and Hank followed the woman inside the building. They threaded their way through stacked cartons until they reached the center of a massive room that was ringed by powerful lights. A table at one end of the room held an elaborate chemistry set. A blue liquid in a glass container bubbled over the low flame of a Bunsen burner. Yards of tubing and other beakers held various stages of the concoction in the system. A clear liquid flowed through plastic tubing and dripped into a glass beaker at the other end of the table. A rope had been strung from the overhead walkway. One end dangled onto the floor near a pile of mattresses and box springs. The other end stopped abruptly just over the railing. A small group of young adults stood around a pile of shipping cartons.
"He’s over there," directed the young woman. "We were doing our flying scene when the rope broke. Harvey fell into those boxes. He said his leg hurt. I think he broke it."
"Okay, Miss..?" asked Hank.
"Ms. Mary Beth Richardson," she extended her hand to Hank. "Director of this little project."
"What kind of project is this, and what kind of chemicals are you making over there?" asked Hank.
"We’re film students at UCLA," she said. "We’re working on a project for one of our summer classes. We’re making a movie: Attack of the Mutant Killer Kangaroos. Those aren’t chemicals, it’s just water. That’s our set for the mad scientist’s lab."
John and Roy passed between the gathered students. "I don’t think that carton will support both of us," said Johnny. "I’ll go up." John climbed onto one of the shipping cartons. "Cap, we’ll need the backboard and the trauma box. Roy, you should be okay on this other box."
"I’ll be right up," responded Roy.
John looked at the victim, "Hi there!" He pushed the brim of his helmet up. "Do you hurt anywhere?"
"My leg and my arm are really sore," said the young man. He lay flat on his abdomen. "Good thing these boxes are pretty soft." He wore a black bodysuit with a flowing black cape that covered his back. Black boots and gloves completed the outfit. A black cowl covered the young man’s face. A broken length of rope dangled from the back of a harness that was fastened around the young man’s waist.
"We’ll have you out of here and at the hospital real quick," said John. "What’s your name?"
"Harvey," said the young man. "Harvey Budd."
Roy knelt at the edge of an adjacent box. "Try not to move, Harvey."
Johnny knelt by Harvey. "I’m going to take this harness off. I’ll try not to hurt you. So what happened?" John carefully unbuckled the leather belt.
"Well, I play the hero, Bob Griffin, a mild mannered nuclear physicist who got superpowers from a lab accident. When I fight crime, I’m known as Atom Man."
"Atom Man?" asked John as he gently removed the harness. "That’s a new one."
"Yeah," admitted Harvey. "It’s a working title. We haven’t thought of anything better yet. Anyway, I’m fighting my arch enemy, Doctor Ska, who wants to take over the world."
"So where do the mutant kangaroos fit in?" asked Roy.
Chet and Marco arrived with the squad’s equipment.
"Hand me up a C-collar, an arm splint, and the traction splint," directed Johnny. Marco opened the trauma box and gave the equipment to Johnny.
"Well," said Harvey. "Doctor Ska invents this radioactive serum that he feeds to animals. The animals take on human characteristics, but still look like animals. The doctor plans to take his traveling circus to the White House to entertain children during the annual Easter Egg Hunt. Once they’re inside, the Doctor and his minions storm the Oval Office to make the President do their bidding, or they’ll kill his family. Atom Man is a former student of Doctor Ska. In fact, it was an accident in Doctor Ska’s lab that gave him his powers. In this scene, I fly into the lab, and try to stop the Doctor before he leaves for Washington."
"So why kangaroos?" asked Johnny as he put the collar on Harvey. "I thought mostly bears would be in a traveling circus."
"We originally wanted to do bears," said Harvey, "but Mary Beth’s father was out of them. Her father is in the costume distribution business. He has a couple of stores in the area, and supplies costumes to local theatre groups. He had a lot of kangaroo costumes, so we used what we could get."
Roy splinted Harvey’s broken arm while John put a splint on the fractured leg.
They maneuvered the backboard between the cartons and gently turned Harvey onto it.
"Oh," Harvey sighed. "It feels good to be face-up."
"We’ll have you on the ground in no time," said Johnny. "Chet, Marco, we’re going to lower him down to you."
"We’re ready," said Chet.
Johnny and Roy gently moved the backboard off the shipping carton into Chet and Marco’s waiting hands. They carefully lowered Harvey to the floor while John and Roy hopped down from their perch.
Mary Beth knelt by Harvey’s side. "How do you feel, Atom Man?"
"I’m really sorry, Mary Beth," apologized Harvey. "What are you going to do for a hero now?"
"Don’t worry about it," she replied. "We’ll find somebody." She studied Chet for a few minutes. Her expression changed from pensive thought, to disbelief, to joy. She tapped Chet on the arm. "Excuse me, but aren’t you Tim Donnelly?"
Chet shook his head. "No, miss, my name’s Chet. I’m a firefighter, not an actor."
Mary Beth smiled. "You are Tim Donnelly!"
Chet grimaced as he realized his mistake.
"I thought I recognized you!" Mary Beth clapped her hands. "I loved you in Parts: The Clonus Horror!"
Chet shook his head and waved his hands to silence her.
Johnny exchanged glances with Roy as he started an I.V. on Harvey. John looked at Marco. Marco shrugged in return.
"That is one of the classic horror movies of our time!" continued Mary Beth. "You were so convincing as the good clone," she gushed. "Can I have your autograph?"
"Would you sign my cast?" asked Harvey. "When I get it?"
Chet blushed and shrugged, "Sure." He backed away to let the ambulance attendants through with the stretcher. "I’ll stop by the hospital when I get off work in the morning."
"Thanks," said Harvey as he was lifted onto the stretcher. "Hey, M.B., what about him?" Harvey pointed at Chet as the attendants strapped him onto the stretcher.
Mary Beth raised her eyebrows and nodded. She turned to Chet. "We’ve only got a few days to shoot the film. The cameras and the editing equipment has to go back to the school in two weeks." She hesitated. "Mr. Donnelly, we’d be honored if you would take over the lead role in our film." She motioned to the rest of the guys. "We’d be happy to find roles for your friends, too. Unfortunately, we can’t pay you, because we have no budget. So, we’d understand if a real professional like you, said no."
Johnny’s blood ran cold when he noticed Cap’s thoughtful look. Mutant kangaroos? What a stupid idea. He quickly packed the equipment and followed Roy to the ambulance. As he got to the door, he looked back and saw Cap talking animatedly to Mary Beth. What do you have to worry about anyway? Chet’s the one on the hot seat now. Johnny perked up and walked out of the warehouse.
###
Johnny walked into the locker room after returning from a late afternoon run. Chet sat in his locker and stared morosely at the floor. John walked to the bank of sinks that faced the lockers. He turned on the faucet and cleaned his face. "What’s the matter, Chet?" John asked as he turned off the faucet. He dried his face and waited for Chet to respond.
Chet sat silently in his locker.
Johnny waved the towel in front of Chet. "Earth to Chet...or is it Tim?" He smiled at Chet and raised his voice an octave. "Can I have your autograph? I can’t believe it’s you!"
"Stow it, Gage." Chet looked up disgustedly at John. "It really is Chet. Tim was my stage name." He shook his head. "I thought I was safe. Nobody here mentioned that stupid movie, so I didn’t think anybody had seen it. I did it on the spur of the moment. A friend of mine knew the casting director, and he got me the part." He shrugged. "I thought I’d give show biz a try. I can’t fight fires forever."
"Well, Chet," said Johnny. "Somebody actually saw it." He smiled genuinely at Chet. "You’re the only firefighter I know who has his own fan club. So why the long face?"
"You obviously haven’t seen the Cap yet," replied Chet. "He asked Mary Beth over for dinner. We’re supposed to go over the script, Mr. Director. Barring any runs, we’re supposed to meet at the warehouse first thing in the morning to start shooting. We’ve only got a week and a half to complete filming."
"It won’t be too bad," said Johnny.
"For you it won’t," answered Chet. "You’ll be behind the camera. I’ll be right in front of it. In tights. I’ll look fat."
"At least you’re playing the hero," said Johnny. "Who knows? Some women think superheroes in tight costumes are sexy."
"Really Gage?" asked Chet hopefully.
"Sure! Just think, you may end up in one of those movie magazines you see at the supermarket." John looked as if he were reading a magazine. "I can see the headline now. Chet Kelly’s turn-ons and turn-offs." John grinned. He peered at an exposed part of Chet’s leg. "You should shave your legs. The little hairs will show through the tights, even though they’re black. Anyway, my grandmother always said black made everybody look thin. You know something Chet?"
"No, what," Chet answered disgustedly.
"You’ve got the wrong attitude about this, Kelly," smirked Johnny. "This is going to be a lot of fun." Johnny draped the towel over Chet’s head and patted him on the shoulder. "See you at the production meeting." John whistled as he left the locker room.
###
Roy threaded the film through the projector as Johnny walked into the kitchen. A white sheet was draped over the portable blackboard, which had been pulled in front of the television set. The chairs formed a semi-circle, so everybody had a clear view of the makeshift screen. Mary Beth and a blonde Johnny recognized from the warehouse rescue sat next to Hank on the sofa. The blonde smiled at Marco, who sat on the other side of the room next to Mike. Hank scribbled notes on a legal pad as Mary Beth spoke.
Joanne DeSoto carried a large bowl of hot buttered popcorn past Johnny and handed it to Mike. Chris and Jennifer sat on the floor in front of Joanne. J.J. snoozed in his car seat on the table.
John nodded an acknowledgement to Mary Beth and her friend. He turned his attention to Jennifer. "Hey Squirt," John said as he scooped a handful of popcorn from the bowl. "When did you get here?"
"About twenty minutes ago," answered Joanne. "Chris reminded me that the school had kept the film to show to other classes. He has to return it in the morning, so we’ll have to take it home with us."
Hank looked up from his notes. "Find Chet. We can’t start this meeting without the star."
"Right Cap," answered John. He returned a few minutes later with a defeated-looking Chet. Chet took a seat next to Mary Beth. Johnny sat next to Chet.
"Let’s get this meeting underway," said Hank. "Roy, are you ready with the projector?"
"I think so." Roy made a few last minute adjustments to the projector. He turned it on and turned off the lights. After a moment, the film flickered onto the screen.
"Nice use of titles in a silent picture," commented Mary Beth. "Very authentic costumes."
"They’re from Johnny’s family," answered Chris. "They’re real Indians."
The blonde smiled at Johnny.
"Hey look!" said Stoker as Marco appeared on screen. "Marco shaved!"
"Marco, you said you burned yourself," accused Cap.
Marco shrugged. "Johnny didn’t want me to say anything about the film."
"Why is the picture bouncing?" Hank asked.
"The camera guy was running across the back yard at the time," answered Johnny. Johnny watched as his brother Mike led his group of Indian Guides across the screen.
"Is that you, Johnny?" asked Chet.
"No," he replied. "That’s my brother, Mike." He shifted in his seat as he appeared on screen. "That’s me." The group watched the action in silence. Johnny spied Chet and Hank staring at him out of the corner of his eye.
"Nice camera angles," said Mary Beth as the film ended. Roy turned the lights on, and rewound the film. She looked at Chris and Johnny. "You did a good job with limited resources." She nodded her head and looked at her co-producer. "What do you think, Christine?"
"I think we should go forward," said the pretty blonde. "You obviously understand the complexities of filmmaking." She pulled a thick sheaf of papers from a manila envelope. "Now, for the script and the casting." Christine passed copies of the script to the guys. "With you in the film, the rest of our group can concentrate on the lighting, sound and editing."
"We already have our hero," said Hank. "Chet’s the only one with any legitimate acting experience, so he gets the part." He opened the script. "We need the evil Doctor Ska, the President of the United States, the First Lady, Alan, the lab assistant, and Bobo, the lead kangaroo." He looked at Mary Beth. "Will the others in your group still be kangaroos?"
"Yes," replied Mary Beth. "The group only needs to be on screen for a limited time, so we can still do our other jobs. The lead kangaroo gets the majority of the screen time."
"How about Stoker for the evil doctor?" suggested Marco. "After all, he is the Engineer."
"How about it, Mike?" asked Hank.
"Why not," said Mike. "The bad guys always look like they’re having more fun."
"How about Roy and Joanne for the President and First Lady?" suggested Chet. "You look pretty presidential, DeSoto."
Joanne looked at Roy. "It’ll be a riot, Roy. If the kids can do it, why can’t we?"
"Yeah, Dad," said Jennifer. "Here’s my chance to do my Amy Carter impression."
"Okay," said Roy. He looked at Johnny. "Next time we walk into Rampart, you have to whistle Hail to the Chief."
Johnny lifted an eyebrow at Roy. "Don’t let it go to your head, President DeSoto. Look what happened to Nixon."
"Marco," said Hank. "I think you’d make a great lab assistant."
"Thanks Cap," said Marco. "Since John is our director, does that make you Chief Kangaroo?"
Hank paused for a moment. "Umm, no, it doesn’t Marco." He got up from the couch and stood behind Johnny’s chair.
John’s heart sank.
Hank patted Johnny on the back. "Since Johnny looked so good on screen," said Hank, "I’ve decided to assume directorial duties. Gage, you are my choice for Bobo, the lead kangaroo."
Johnny sighed and hung his head. "Thanks, Cap," he said lamely.
"Listen, Pal," said Hank encouragingly. "This is a key role."
"That’s right," said Christine as she leaned forward in her chair. "This sweet, innocent, adorable kangaroo gets yanked from his natural habitat and taken to a cramped, dirty, filthy lab. There, he gets bad food, bad water and is imprisoned in a cold, dingy cage. The doctor and his lab assistant feed this poor creature a radioactive elixir in a series of cruel experiments." Christine waved her arms as her excitement rose. "Is that not unlike the struggle of your own people?"
John looked puzzled. "Huh?"
Christine wiped a tear from her eye. "Your people," she said as she waved her arms some more. "The Indians! You were displaced from your land by greedy White settlers and placed on reservations. You were starved and given shacks to live in. Your portrayal of this pathetic, innocent, misused creature of the Australian wilderness is your chance to illustrate the daily struggle of your people. This whole project isn’t just a horror movie. It’s an illustration of man’s inhumanity to man!"
"Besides, Gage," said Chet, "you’re the most pathetic of all of us."
"Kelly, I oughta..." John started as the alarm tones sounded.
"Squad 51. Possible heart attack. 35 West Midland. Three-five West Midland. Cross-street Blanchard. Time out, 1930."
Roy quickly kissed Joanne and his kids. "See you in the morning, guys. Be good." Roy followed John out of the kitchen.
###
"Come on, everybody," Hank said. "Let’s get ready for the final scene." They were in one of the offices of the warehouse. It had been decorated to look like the Oval Office. He pulled the chair from behind the desk. "Roy, you sit here."
Roy wore a black three-piece suit. Joanne brushed some lint from the back of his suit and kissed him for luck. Roy sat at the desk and took a pen from the holder.
"Look presidential," said Hank as he tore a sheet of paper from his portfolio and gave it to Roy. "In this scene, you’re working at your desk, signing legislation. You stand up, and look out the window at the children playing on the White House lawn. Suddenly, you hear a commotion in the hallway. You turn around."
"I’m ready, Cap," said Roy. "Joanne and I stayed up late to rehearse."
"Stoker, Joanne, Gage, are you ready?" asked Hank.
"Yeah, Cap," answered Mike. "We’re all set."
"Marco, Chet?" called Hank. "You ready to leap into the White House and save the day?"
"In a sec, Cap," called Chet. "I’ve got a wedgie." He tugged at the back of the snug black costume as he entered the office. He pulled at the white ‘A’ on his chest and smoothed the costume down. He wiggled his behind slightly. "That’s better. I wonder if Superman ever had this trouble?"
Hank rolled his eyes. "Just be ready, Chet. If we get this on the first take, we can go out and celebrate." Chet left the office.
Mary Beth held a clapboard in front of the camera. "Roll film.....Action!" She removed the clapboard and stood behind the camera.
Roy busily wrote on the piece of paper. He put the pen in its holder and stood up. He stretched and looked out the window. The sound of shouting voices outside of the door made Roy turn around.
Stoker rushed into the office. His hair had been streaked with powder to give it a gray appearance. Gel made it look messy. He wore a pair of fake glasses, a stained lab coat over dark pants, white shirt, and a tie. "Ah ha!" he yelled enthusiastically. "We meet at last, Mr. President!" He pulled a folded sheet of paper from his pocket and threw it on the desk. "This document outlines my demands! If you do not acknowledge me as the new world leader, I’ll kill your family!"
"Shouldn’t you be outside with the kids?" President DeSoto asked. "Doctor Ska, I don’t believe you," scoffed Roy. He pushed a button on the desk. "Mary, get Security in here on the double!"
"Your puny Secret Service men were no match for my mutant kangaroos!" Stoker strolled closer to the desk. "And I have your family!" He looked toward the door and whistled. "Bobo! Obi! Bring in the hostages!"
Joanne, Chris and Jennifer DeSoto stumbled into the room. Joanne wore a navy blue suit with a mid calf skirt. She carried little J.J, who slept peacefully in his mother’s arms. Chris and Jennifer wore their best outfits. They held their hands up. Jennifer’s lower lip quivered, while Chris and Joanne looked frightened.
Bobo roughly held onto Joanne’s arm. Johnny wore a kangaroo costume made from heavy brown material. The head of the animal had small eye-holes and air holes cut into the nostrils. The legs had been modified so the creature could walk normally. The long tail trailed on the floor. Another person in a similar costume followed Johnny into the room. Bobo held a knife at Joanne’s throat, while the other kangaroo pointed a knife at the children.
Roy’s face fell. He picked up the paper and read it. He looked horrified. "You want me to call all of the world leaders, and have them transfer their powers to you?
Plus, you want the launch codes for all of the nuclear warheads in our arsenal, and a case of Fosters? You’re insane!"
"Exactly! The world is mine to experiment with!" Doctor Ska laughed sinisterly. "The warheads are a little insurance policy. Any country that refuses my demands will have a nuclear missile launched at their capital. And the Fosters," he shrugged. "Well, even mad scientists need to unwind a little at the end of a hard day."
"Don’t do it, Honey!" yelled Joanne. "You can’t give into this...this.." she looked disgustedly at Doctor Ska, "so-called scientist." She spit in his direction, but hit Bobo in the snout. Bobo released Joanne’s arm and wiped his snout. "We’d rather die!" she said as she put a protective arm around the children.
"Okay," said Doctor Ska. "If you want to sacrifice yourself for your country, go right ahead! It won’t make any difference. Bobo! Obi! Kill the hostages!"
"Wait one minute, Ska!" Chet leapt into the room. His cape trailed behind him. Marco ran in after Chet. Marco wore a lab coat over dark pants, white shirt and loosened tie. He pushed a pair of thick dark glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"Atom Man!" exclaimed Jennifer.
"Am I glad to see you, Atom Man!" said Roy, visibly relieved.
"I see I arrived in the nick of time, Mr. President." Atom Man strolled over to Doctor Ska and grabbed the lapel of his lab coat. "You’re coming with me, Ska!"
"Not quite, Atom Man!" cried Doctor Ska. He slugged Atom Man in the stomach. Chet appeared unaffected by the punch. "Alan! Take care of Atom Man! Bobo, Kill the hostages!"
"Don’t do it, Bobo!" yelled Marco as he approached the mutant. "Doctor Ska is wrong! I realize it now. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me! It’s not too late for you. I’m working on a formula to reverse the effects of the radiation elixir!"
Atom Man punched Doctor Ska in the face. The mad scientist fell to the ground. Atom Man ran across the room in slow motion as Obi raised his arm to strike Jennifer. Atom Man tackled Obi and knocked the knife from his hands. One punch knocked the mutant kangaroo out cold.
"Bobo, you can’t kill us," said Joanne. She pointed to Doctor Ska, who stood up. "He took you from your homeland and transformed you from a happy little marsupial into a miserable, half human...beast! He’s the one you should kill!" Bobo looked at the knife and looked at Joanne. A single tear trickled down her cheek.
Bobo lowered the knife. He studied it for a moment, then threw it on the floor. He knocked Doctor Ska unconscious with a kick of one of his mighty hind legs.
"Oh Bobo!" Jennifer cried as she threw her arms around the mutant kangaroo. "I knew you didn’t have the heart to kill! Now you can be free!"
"Thank you, Atom Man!" President DeSoto clapped Atom Man on the back. "You’ve saved the world from the clutches of evil."
"CUT!" cried Mary Beth. "That’s a wrap!" She helped Stoker up. "Great job, guys! Hank, I’ll see you Wednesday to do the editing."
Johnny took the costume head off, and wiped his forehead. Sweat plastered his hair flat against his head. "Mary Beth, can I have a word with you in private?"
Mary Beth stopped putting away the equipment. "Sure Johnny, what is it?"
Johnny walked over to Mary Beth and led her out of earshot. "I have an idea.."
###
"Boy, this place is crowded," said Chet as the members of the cast took their seats in a row of the auditorium. "I didn’t think the competition would be so popular."
Hank rubbed his hands anxiously. "There were six movies entered. Now we get to see the top three films and find out who won. Look," he pointed to the front of the auditorium. "There’s McConnikie. He’s talking to Boyett. I’ll bet he knows who the winner is. I’m sure we’re among the finalists. Mary Beth said her professor loved the film."
"Don’t worry, Cap," said Marco. "We have to be in the top three." He pointed to the film list in the program. "Look at these titles. A Day in the Life, Smokey Says, Turnout Coat of Dreams, Hell’s Chili, and Has Anybody Seen My Hat? Some of them look more like fire prevention films than entertainment."
"Who made that last one?" Johnny leaned over to see Marco’s program.
Marco looked at the program and snickered. He whispered into Johnny’s ear.
John stole a glance at Hank and stifled a giggle.
"What’s so funny, Gage?" asked Hank.
Johnny coughed and shifted in his seat. "Nothing, Cap. It was just a tickle."
"Hank, guys. Are these seats taken?" asked a female voice.
Hank looked up to see Dixie McCall and Kelly Brackett standing in front of the seats beside Hank.
"Hi Dix, Doctor Brackett," said Hank. "This is a welcome surprise." Hank gestured to the seats. "Please, sit down."
Dix and Doctor Brackett sat down. "We heard so much about the competition, we couldn’t miss it," said Doctor Brackett.
"Everybody’s been talking about it," said Dixie.
"I think they’re about to start," said Roy as Chief Boyett walked up to the podium.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," the Chief began. "Welcome to the first annual film competition during the L.A. County Fire Fest. I’m very pleased to bring you the top three films, as selected by our panel of judges. I’d like to congratulate all of our entrants for a job well done. The judges had a difficult time narrowing the field to the final three. One of the judges said that picking the winner was tougher than fighting a fire in a burning high-rise."
The Chief took a sip of water. "Before we screen the films, I’d like to introduce our judges. Judge number one has been a Firefighter/Paramedic almost from the beginning, and has a real eye for movies. Ladies and Gentleman, may I present, Craig Brice!"
Brice stood up to a polite round of applause.
"Oh, great," Roy whispered to Hank. "We haven’t got a prayer."
Brice took his seat as the Chief continued. "Our second Judge has been with the department for many years. He recently moved to dispatch after returning from a serious injury sustained while fighting a house fire. May I present, from Station 127, Robert Wooddruff. Welcome back, Bob."
Robert stood up to an enthusiastic round of applause. He bowed modestly and sat down.
"Our final judge is a man we all hold in high esteem. May I present, Deputy Chief Brian Lawson."
The Deputy Chief stood up to a polite round of applause. He acknowledged the applause and sat down.
The Chief continued. "The third place film was described by its creators as a salute to modern musical theatre. From the creative minds at Station 48, I present Turnout Coat of Dreams.
"At least we did better than third place," whispered Hank as the theatre darkened.
###
The pulsating beat of rock n’ roll music rose as the call out tones sounded, and footage of firefighters running to an engine and squad flashed across the screen. The camera focused upon the Engineer, who started singing. "The alarm goes off/ They call us out/ Somebody’s in trouble/ Something’s burning in the town/ We’re... speeding to the rescue/ Yes, speeding to the rescue." The equipment pulled up to a burning home.
###
"He’s not too bad," whispered Marco. "Original music."
"Those lyrics, that camera angle," scoffed Hank. "All wrong."
###
"You burn it, and we will come," crooned Station 48’s Captain to the crying fire victim. "Whether it be ar-son, or an accident/ Or a pot upon the stove/ You burn it, and we will come!" The Captain put a comforting arm around the woman’s shoulders.
"But..But," cried the woman. The music sped up. "My man’s inside and he’s in really deep deep trouble."
The two paramedics ran over and sang in unison. "Hey now, Hey now, your man’s inside?"
###
"Where have I heard that before?" whispered Roy.
"It’s My Boyfriend’s Back," whispered Joanne.
###
"He went upstairs and he tried to put the fire out," sang the woman.
"Hey now, hey now, he went upstairs," sang the medics. They put their air masks on and ran into the burning house.
"Oh," sang the woman. "I really hope they save him/ Yeah, I really hope they save him."
"Here now," sang the Captain. "Here now, they’ve got your husband now!" The paramedics ran out of the house with the man safely over one of their shoulders. They set him on the grass and applied oxygen. The victim regained consciousness and sat up. His wife ran over and kissed him. She looked gratefully at the firefighters.
The music slowed. "Fire’s been around forever," started the woman, "and it has taken many lives/ You help the people, save their lives/ You are Firemen, and you wear the coats/ You wear turnout coats to keep the whole town safe/ You wear those coats so you can run inside..."
###
"Barry Manilow?" Hank whispered. "They’ve sunk to a new low!"
"Yeah, but it’s kind of catchy, Cap," whispered Roy. "I Write the Songs is really big. Listen."
Hank glared at Roy and returned his attention to the screen.
###
The entire crew stood on the back of Engine 48. The hapless victim and his wife stood next to them for the grand finale. "We wear turnout coats that keep the whole town safe/ We wear the coats, we wear the coats/ We are Firemen, and we wear the coats!"
###
The lights came up in the auditorium. Chief Boyett returned to the podium. "Let’s have a nice round of applause for the creative minds of Station 48. Please come up to the stage to accept your award."
The audience clapped as the men of Station 48 accepted a plaque from Chief Boyett. They bowed and returned to their seats.
"The second and first place films finished virtually neck and neck," said the Chief. "The judges viewed them three times before they reached a final decision. The winners of second place should not feel like they lost. Your film has been appreciated by many of us at Headquarters, and brought a real appreciation to the concept of animal rights." The Chief sipped his water.
Hank looked at Roy. "I’ll bet it’s the bear film." He slapped the arm rest of the seat. "We won. I know we won."
"I am very happy to award second place to Station 51, and their film: Attack of the Mutant Killer Kangaroos. Science fiction will never be the same."
"Hey Cap," said Marco excitedly. "We got second!"
###
The theatre darkened and the opening titles appeared on screen. Real kangaroos hopped around a grassy area, peacefully feeding. The camera framed one kangaroo, who munched on grass a few feet away from the main group. The close-up revealed Bobo, who looked around and appeared startled. He hopped frantically away from the camera. Doctor Ska chased Bobo. He lassoed the kangaroo and with Alan’s help, tied Bobo securely.
###
"Boy, Mike," whispered Doctor Brackett, "you did that like an old pro."
"Thanks, Doc," whispered Mike. "Johnny taught me. He said it was just like roping a steer."
###
The scene shifted to the interior of a laboratory. Bob/Chet sat on a stool in front of one of the benches. A coffee cup sat on the table, next to a small beaker full of a glowing concoction, and a small pitcher of cream. Bob stared at the paper as he picked up the beaker and poured its contents into the coffee cup. He drank the coffee in a quick gulp as the buzzer on the lab door rang. He broke the cup when he put it on the table. Bob looked puzzled. The doorbell buzzed incessantly. Bob ran to the door. He looked shocked. "That was almost instantaneous," he said as he opened the door. "What was in that coffee?"
Bob opened the door. Two delivery men pushed a cage and two very large bags labeled "Kangaroo Feed" into the lab. "Sign here," directed the delivery man as he gave Bob an invoice.
Bob signed the invoice and closed the door after the delivery men and examined the cage. Doctor Ska and Alan entered the lab. Alan carried a wriggling Bobo over his shoulder.
"I see our cage has arrived," said Doctor Ska. "Perfect timing."
Alan tossed Bobo into the cage and closed the door. Bobo hopped into a corner and crouched.
"Is the serum ready?" asked Doctor Ska.
"It is!" said Alan. He took a beaker full of serum and gave it to the mad doctor.
"Wait a minute," said Bob. "That’s not for an animal. It’s supposed to protect humans who live next to nuclear plants from radiation sickness."
Bob looked horrified as Alan poured the green liquid into a water bowl and placed it into the cage. After a few moments, Bobo crawled over and sniffed the liquid.
He drank heartily and returned to the corner of the cage. A few moments later, Bobo doubled over in pain. He writhed in the corner for several minutes.
"What did you do to that poor, helpless creature?" asked Bob.
"Come on, Bob," said Alan. "You mean, you’ve worked here all this time and you didn’t know what the serum was really meant for?"
"No!" answered Bob. He looked helplessly from Alan to Doctor Ska. "What are you trying to pull here!"
"Simple, Bob," said Doctor Ska as he put his arm around Chet. "I’m trying to take over the world!" He pointed to the motionless kangaroo. "After two more doses of the elixir, the genetic mutation will be complete, and he will no longer be a lowly marsupial. He will think and reason like a human, and will follow my every command. No world leader will resist my gang of mutants! Our first stop, Washington, D.C.!"
"Oh, no, Doctor Ska," said Bob as he backed away from the crazed scientist. "I’ll have no part of your evil scheme. You must be stopped!" Bob picked up a shard of the broken mug and held Doctor Ska and Alan at bay. "I’ll find a way....somebody to stop your evil plan." He backed out of the lab and the scene faded to black.
###
"Jeez, Johnny," whispered Marco. "You’re good. I really feel sorry for the kangaroo."
Johnny shrugged. "All I had to do was lay there."
Chet leaned over. "Yeah, that’s what Gage does best, eat and sleep," he whispered.
Johnny gave Chet an evil look.
###
Several different scenes showed Bob discovering his new powers. The camera focused on Bob as he sewed the black costume. He went into the bathroom of the apartment and closed the door. A few moments later, Atom Man appeared.
The next scene opened in the laboratory. Bobo and five other kangaroos gathered around Doctor Ska as he reviewed his plan. Alan handed knives to Bobo and another kangaroo. The rest of the kangaroos held decorated Easter Baskets. Doctor Ska finished outlining his plan and the gang left the lab. Moments later, Atom Man flew into the lab.
###
"Isn’t that how that kid broke his leg?" whispered Dixie.
"Yes," answered Hank. "We used a stronger rope for Chet."
###
"I look fat," Chet whispered to Joanne. "Look at my thighs...They’re huge."
"You’re not fat," said Joanne. "You fill out that costume in all the right places."
Chet brightened. "You really think so?"
Joanne nodded. Chet sat back in his chair. I hope she’s not saying that just to make me feel better. He stared at the screen for a moment. Nah, I do look good in that costume. Gage’s Grandmother was right. Black does make you look thinner.
###
The scenes in the Oval Office played across the screen and the picture faded to black. Hank leaned forward in his chair, waiting for the house lights to come up. He sat back as another scene started. "What’s this?" he whispered. "An epilogue? We didn’t do an epilogue!" he hissed. Roy shrugged and sunk in his seat.
###
Vince led Doctor Ska into a jail cell and closed the door. The following text flashed on the screen. "Doctor Ska was convicted of multiple felony charges and sent to a federal prison for the remainder of his life."
President DeSoto and his family waved from the Oval Office. "President DeSoto was re-elected by a landslide and enjoyed four more productive years in office."
###
Hank looked at Roy as if his own child had betrayed him. "You were in on this too?" he whispered.
"Lighten up, Cap," whispered Roy as he gestured toward the screen. "It needed some closure."
Hank glared at the paramedic.
###
Atom Man lept into a bank and disarmed a robber with a karate chop. "Atom Man continued to fight crime and champion the rights of the helpless," read the text. The next scene showed Atom Man flying to a treetop to rescue a trapped cat. He gave the cat to a grateful child, who threw her arms around the hero.
Alan relaxed in a chaise lounge beside a glittering swimming pool. A bottle of beer and a glass sat on a tray table beside him. The camera panned to the swimming pool, where Bobo sat in the middle of a life preserver. Dark sunglasses were poised on his snout, and he wore a loud print shirt over the costume. His tail curled around the edge of the rubber tube. Bobo held a beer bottle in his hand and read a magazine. "Bobo and Alan made peace. The scientist kept his promise. Alan took the mutant in and tirelessly worked on a formula to reverse the genetic-alterations caused by the evil Doctor Ska. One day in the lab, Alan grabbed the wrong bottle when mixing his newest formula. The result wasn’t a genetic cure, but a great tasting spicy sauce and marinade. Alan and Bobo marketed their creation and made a fortune. The End."
###
The screen faded to black and the lights came up. The Chief took the microphone. "I’d like to present the members of Station 51."
The audience applauded loudly as the guys took the stage. Hank accepted a plaque from the Chief and shook his hand.
"Nice job, Hank" said the Chief. He looked at the men. "You almost won. You should be proud of yourselves." He looked at Johnny. "Especially you, Bobo. See me after the awards. I know a couple of secretaries who’d love your phone number. You were so pathetic, you made them cry." He pointed to Chet. "You too, Kelly."
"Thanks, Chief." Johnny brightened. He smiled as they left the stage. "Hear that, Chet? I made a couple of secretaries cry."
"You always make women cry, Gage," chided Chet. "That’s why they only go out with you once."
The guys took their seats. Hank passed the plaque down the row.
The Chief sipped from his glass. "The next film won soley because of its simplicity and length. You’ll see what I mean when you view it. Please congratulate our very own Chief McConnikie, and his film Has Anyone Seen My Hat!"
The audience applauded as the theatre darkened. Hank’s face fell.
###
The camera panned around the office of a fire station. "I wonder where I could have put it?" came the voice-over. The camera moved from the office past the shiny fire engine and squad parked in the apparatus bay, into the kitchen. One firefighter cleaned the oven, while another mopped the floor. "Have you guys seen my hat? I can’t find it and the Chief’s coming by later for an inspection."
"Sorry Cap," said one of the men. "We haven’t seen it."
The camera moved into the apparatus bay and focused upon the paramedics who were checking their gear. "Have you seen my hat? I thought I had it in the office, but it’s not there."
One of the medics shook his head. "No Cap," he said as he looked at his partner. "We haven’t seen it."
"Thanks, guys." The camera moved to the other side of the engine where the Engineer polished the dials. "Hank, Have you seen my hat?"
"No Sir," said the Engineer, who jumped and stood bolt upright. "I haven’t been near the office," he said smoothly.
###
Hank sank lower into the seat. Marco snorted.
###
The camera panned the rest of the station. It peered under bunks and inside garbage cans and lockers. Finally, the cameraman moved out of the back door of the station. A hat burned in the middle of the parking area. "There’s my hat. Hmmm."
The camera stayed focused on the burning hat. A marshmallow emerged on the end of a stick. It stayed over the burning hat until it was a pleasant shade of brown. The marshmallow headed towards the camera. "Umm. Delicious." The screen faded to black.
###
"I’d like to present first place to Chief McConnikie" Chief Boyett applauded as Chief McConnikie came on stage. Boyette handed McConnikie the award and shook his hand. "Can you say a few words?" asked Boyett.
"Thank you," said the Chief. "I never expected to win. The other entrants looked so spectacular, especially the one from Station 51." The Chief paused. "In fact, I’d like to thank the men of Station 51 and their Captain, for the inspiration to do this film." He held up the award and motioned to the guys. "Thanks Hank. This is going to look great in my office."
Hank rested his head on his hand and looked at Roy. "He’s out to get me. This is only the beginning. He’ll never let me forget it. You burn one little hat, and the guy has a vendetta for life."
Roy patted him on the back. "Don’t worry, Cap. I think he’s gotten over it and this is his way of letting you know."
"You think so?" Hank asked hopefully.
"Sure Cap," said Roy. The Chief made his way up the aisle. He stopped at the end of the row. "Here he comes now," said Roy.
"Congratulations, Chief," Hank extended his hand and the Chief shook it.
"Congratulations to you, Hank," replied the Chief. "Your crew did a great job." He clapped Chet on the back. "Atom Man and the mutant kangaroos. What a concept. Had my secretary in tears over poor Bobo." He shook his head. "Gage, you really were pathetic."
"Thank you, Chief," said Johnny.
"I can’t wait to see what you do for next year’s competition. No hard feelings, Hank?" asked the Chief. "I was inspired by that little incident, and I couldn’t stop myself."
"No hard feelings, Chief," replied Hank.
"Good," said the Chief. "I’ll see you first thing Monday morning."
"Monday?" asked Hank, his voice catching slightly.
"Yes," said the Chief. "Remember, Monday the Chief is inspecting certain stations in our Battalion. I’m bringing him to your place because I know you guys will be ready."
"Yes, Sir," said Hank. "We’ll be ready."
"Enjoy the rest of the festivities men," said the Chief. He walked up the aisle.
Hank looked at Roy. "See what I mean? He’s still out to get me."
"Come on, Cap," said Roy. "Let’s go celebrate our victory. There’s always next year."
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