It was almost midnight and Station 51 was rolling on the report of a sick man. The address given was a neighborhood tavern. They pulled up in front of a shabby little hole in the wall. According to the neon sign it was called The End Zone. A man met them on the sidewalk.
"What's the problem here? We had a report of a sick man," the cap asked him, as he jumped down from the engine.
"He's sick alright -- he just went berserk," the man muttered. He seemed stunned.
"Who did?" Johnny asked. This was not the kind of ‘sick' they had in mind when they got the call.
"K.C. -- the bouncer -- he used to play for the Rams, you know. We were watching the game on the all night sports channel and they fumbled the ball on the ten yard line and all of a sudden -- Whammo! -- he just -- well see for yourself." The man pointed them in to the bar. He just stood on the sidewalk shaking his head in disbelief.
With a certain amount of trepidation they entered the bar. It was dark inside and it took a minute for their eyes to adjust . There were broken tables, chairs and glass all over the floor. The smell of beer and cigarette smoke assaulted their nostrils.
Once they were in sight, a heavyset man in an apron stood up from his hiding place behind the bar.
"What a mess," Hank commented.
"We were lucky to escape with our lives," another man agreed. He had been hiding in the phone booth. He too, felt brave enough to show himself once the Fire Department was on the scene.
"I want that maniac out of my place," the bartender insisted.
They did not respond to his demands. Their attention was on the big man who stood at the end of the bar. He seemed calm now. In fact, he was almost too calm. He stood stock still. His gaze was transfixed on the television.
Cautiously Roy and Johnny approached the man at the bar.
"Hello," Roy gretted, trying to sound calm as he came up on one side of him.
Johnny walked up on the other side of him. He also tried to be casual. "Hi," he said simply as he reached for some popcorn from the bowl at the end of the counter.
The man just nodded.
He seemed perfectly normal now but they had dealt with this kind of thing all too often in the past. The debris strewn room was proof enough that the man could be violent. They hoped he would remain subdued and they would be able to check him out. They were each armed with an ether soaked cloth in case he became psychotic again. They decided to try and talk to him a little more before doing anything.
"Who's winning?" Roy ventured lightly.
Before anyone else could react the man flipped out again. He grabbed Roy by the sholders. He picked him up and hurled him the entire length of the bar. Roy landed flat on his back but his head slammed into the brass footrail that ran along the bar.
Johnny jumped up on the big man's back and shoved the makeshift mask over his mouth and nostrils. The ex-football player was still strong as an ox. He tried to shake Johnny off his back. Johnny slid sideways but managed to cling to the man using leg muscles that had been developed breaking horses. He kept the mask in place but the man was fighting the anesthesia.
He put up a fierce struggle. The other guys came in to try and hold him still. With great difficulty they held him till he finally succumbed. They were barely able to get out of his way as he fell. Johnny jumped clear as the man crashed to the floor.
They were all sweaty and breathless from the exertion of the struggle. While they were busy catching their breath, Chet noticed Roy still on the ground. He was the closest to him. He squatted down next to him and shook his shoulder. He thought he might have been playing possum so the big man did not go after him again. "Hey, Roy, you okay?"
"Who turned out the lights?" Roy quipped as he tried to sit up.
"Let me give you a hand," Chet offered as he helped him to his feet.
Roy accepted his help then made his way down to where Johnny was securing the man to a backboard with restraints.
"What happened to you? I thought I was working alone for a minute there," Johnny teased. He stood up to allow the ambulance attendants to pick up the backboard and place it on their gurney.
Roy leaned on the bar. He still felt a little shaky.
"Are you alright?" Johnny became more serious.
"Yeah," Roy smiled. "Just knocked the wind outta me." He shook his head to clear it.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah."
"You wanna ride in with him?" Johnny asked.
The cap had taken the initiative of contacting Rampart while Johnny and Roy attempted to subdue the man in the beginning. After he explained what had happened they definitely wanted to see the man but did not want any drugs administered that might mask any symptoms.
"Yeah, okay," Roy agreed. He didn't really feel up to driving at the moment and was sure he would recover during the ride to the hospital.
They walked out to the street and Roy got into the ambulance with the patient. Johnny closed the doors and banged on them so that the driver would know he was cleared to go.
Johnny was packing the equipment into the bays of the squad when Chet approached him. "Roy really took a rap on the head. You sure he was okay?" he asked nervously.
"He said he was," Johnny shrugged.
"Better have a doctor check him out anyway," Chet advised.
"Anything else, Mother?" Johnny asked with some irritation as he got into the squad.
"I'm serious, Gage. He was really out cold," Chet argued.
"Okay, Chet." Johnny shook his head. Chet's concern was very out of character and it amused him.
***
Johnny walked into the ER. Roy was at the nurses' station explaining the rescue to Dixie. He was very alert and animated. He showed no sign of injury so Johnny forgot all about his promise to Chet.
"And you should have seen this guy. I opened my eyes after I hit the deck and a get a front row seat to the Rodeo of the Century. There's Cowboy John on this guy's back riding him like he was a bull!"
"I'm not so sure he wasn't," Johnny smiled. "And I do believe I stayed on for more than eight seconds. It's amazing how terror improves your grip. Are you about ready to go?"
"What's your hurry?" Roy asked.
"It's late. I'm tired and I wanna go back to bed!" Johnny couldn't believe he needed an explanation.
***
Roy backed the squad into the station. All was quiet as the others had gone back to bed.
"You going back to bed?" Roy asked.
"Of course. Aren't you?"
"Naw. I'm wide awake now. How ‘bout a sandwich?"
"No thanks. I'm beat," Johnny yawned.
"Well I'm gonna grab one and watch tv for a while."
"Okay. Just stay away from the all night sports channel," Johnny said as he headed for the dorm and his bed.
***
When the crew got up in the morning they thought it odd to see Roy still sitting up watching TV.
"Haven't you been to bed yet?" Johnny's voice cracked in disbelief.
"I got watching these old movies," Roy shrugged.
"Aren't you tired?" Marco gasped.
"No. I feel fine," Roy assured them. He got up and stretched.
The others looked at him like he was crazy but he paid them no heed.
***
Roy's insomnia continued till the next shift. He looked beat when he walked in.
Chet was the first one to see him. "You look terrible," he said lightly.
"Who asked you?" Roy growled viciously.
Chet held his hands up in front of him in surrender. "Pardon me," he said submissively.
"You look tired, Roy," Marco said kindly. "Didn't you sleep good?"
"I don't see where that's any of you business," Roy snapped. He'd finished dressing so he slammed his locker shut and left the locker room angrily.
"What's with him?" Marco whispered to Chet.
Chet just shrugged. "Beats me. Guess he got up on the wrong side of the bed."
Just then Johnny came in. "Morning, guys," he greeted them pleasantly as he changed into his uniform.
"Don't say that to Roy," Chet warned.
"Why not?"
"He'll bit your head off," Marco promised. "He's in a real lousy mood."
"Oh?" Johnny couldn't believe it. "You guys must have done something to make him mad," he said as he finished dressing. "I'll go talk to him." He closed his locker and went to look for Roy. He found him studying the map for construction locations and possible detours. He approached him cautiously. "Nice day, isn't it?" he greeted him nervously.
Roy just shot him a sour look.
"Look, Roy," he began again. "If you have some kind of a problem we could talk about it. Maybe I could help."
"I don't have any kind of problem." Roy was on the defensive.
"Come on, Roy," Johnny coaxed. "You know when I have a problem I always tell you --"
"I know you do," Roy interrupted with disgust. "You're an overgrown adolescent who couldn't find his way to the table without guidance. You have no end of problems because you are basically a jerk. I've always listened to you because I've felt sorry for you but frankly I was always bored to death with your stupid problems and ideas. So If I ever want advice, you're the last person on Earth I'll come to. Now get off my back will you?" Roy pushed his way past Johnny and went into the day room.
Chet and Marco had witnessed the whole scene. They knew that Johnny had made the offer out of friendship. They also knew that the cruel things that Roy had said had cut Johnny to the quick. They looked at each other in complete disbelief. They saw Johnny swallow hard and blink quickly. They felt helpless. They wanted to say something to make him feel better, especially Chet. He had said mean things to Johnny before, to make him mad or get a rise out of him but never just to hurt him as Roy just had. There was an element of truth in the things that Roy had said. Johnny was visibly shaken.
"He's not himself today," Marco said softly, clapping an arm around Johnny's shoulder.
"Come on, Pal," Chet said kindly, "I'll buy you a cup of coffee."
Johnny seemed slightly shaken as they went into the kitchen. They walked in on the end of one the cap's ‘famous stories'.
The alarm sounded. It was just for the squad. The cap acknowledged the call and handed Roy the address. The squad sped away. The cap followed the others into the dayroom. "Why the long faces? What's going on?" he wanted to know.
"It's Roy, Cap," Chet said honestly. "I don't know what's gotten into him today but he sure has his back up about something."
"Oh really?"the cap was concerned. "What happened?"
"He's in an awful grouchy mood -- mean really. He jumped all over poor Johnny. I thought he was going to cry," Marco confided.
"What had Johnny done?" Stoker wanted to hear all sides.
"Nothing," Chet vowed. "Except try to be nice to him."
"Maybe he's coming down with something," the cap ventured.
"Something's sure wrong." Marco was convinced. "I've never seen him act so cruel -- anybody act so cruel -- not even Chet."
"What do you mean?" Chet was stung.
"You say mean things to Johnny too."
"Not like that! Teasing is one thing but I never deliver any really low blows like Roy did."
"What exactly did he say?" The cap wanted to know. If both Chet and Marco were not so sincere he wouldn't believe a word they were saying.
"That Johnny was a jerk and always bored everybody with his stupid problems. That he was an overgrown adolescent -- that was it, wasn't it, Chet?" Marco's Spanish accent was getting stronger which always happened when he was truly upset.
The cap let out a low whistle. "No wonder Gage was rattled." The cap was empathetic with Johnny's wounded feelings. "I'd better have a talk with him when he gets back. That's not at all like Roy. Something has got to be bothering him."
"He looked tired," Marco remembered.
***
The rescue was a little boy stuck up a tree.
"I didn't know who else to call," his eight year old sister explained nervously as she, Roy and Johnny stood at the base of the tree. "I don't know how he go up there. I was getting ready for school. I just turned my back on him for a minute, honest," she sobbed, valiantly fighting back tears.
"That's okay, Honey. We'll get him down," Johnny assured her. He climbed up the tree toward the little boy. "Hold on, Davy. I'll be right up. No! Don't go any higher. Stay Still!"
At last he reached the boy and carried him down.
"Davy!" His sister was exasperated. "Now I'll be late for school, for sure. I still have to walk you to the babysitter's."
"You take care of him all by yourself?" Johnny asked.
"Just before school. My mom has to be at work at seven. I walk him to the babysitter's on my way to school but I'll never get there on time now," she worried.
"How ‘bout if we give you a lift?" Johnny offered pleasantly. He was impressed by the little girl's maturity.
"That would be great!" She was wide-eyed with excitement. "Let me go lock the door and get my backpack."
"It's okay, isn't it, Roy?" Johnny wondered as he carried Davy over to the squad.
"What do I care?" Roy said a bit snidely.
So they dropped the two kids off. The little girl was not only not late but was quite a hero at school for showing up in a fire department vehicle.
"Good-bye and thanks," she called.
"Bye," Johnny waved as they pulled away from the curb. He shot a glance at Roy. He was feeling very ill at ease and he didn't like it one bit."Roy," he said finally, "are you mad at me for some reason?"
"What?" Roy had been a million miles away.
"Did I do something to make you mad? If I did, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
"What are you talking about?" Roy was a bit miffed.
"Well something's bothering you and I was just wondering if it was me."
Johnny's sincerity startled Roy and made him feel slightly embarrassed.
"No more than usual," he half-way smiled."Let's just drop it, huh?"
"Okay. That's fine with me." Johnny was glad Roy was more civil, more like normal. Maybe it was something personal that was none of his business. He tried to make small talk.
"They were cute kids," he ventured.
"Yeah," Roy said without emotion.
"You know, I almost couldn't catch that little monkey. He kept going higher and higher up the tree. I was afraid I was going to get stuck myself. Then you would have had to rescue me," Johnny laughed as they arrived back at the station.
"What makes you think I would?" Roy questioned. The old Roy.
"You'd leave me stuck in a tree?" Johnny challenged in a good-natured way, as they walked into the day room.
"Why not?" I think it's a good place for you." Roy went over and poured himself a cup of coffee.
Chet shot Johnny a quizzical look. Johnny shrugged.
"You feel better, Roy?" the cap asked with interest.
"Better than what?" Roy asked lightly.
"Better than you did when you first came in."
"What are you talking about?" Roy became serious.
"When you first came in you were as cranky as an old bear," Chet told him.
"I was not." Roy's mood darkened.
"Yes you were, Roy," Marco smiled. He knew Roy hadn't meant to act the way he did. His mind must have been elsewhere.
Roy looked at each of them suspiciously. "What are you guys getting at?" he snapped.
"Nothin', Roy. Let's forget it." Johnny jumped in nervously.
"Don't patronize me!" He shoved Johnny away. "If you guys have something to say, spit it out. I don't think much of all these innuendos," he snarled.
"Take it easy, Roy," Johnny urged.
"Have you got a beef?" Roy glared at Johnny in a threatening manner.
"No! No not me," Johnny assured him.
"Anybody else?" Roy challenged them all.
They were all too shocked to speak.
"No, Roy," Johnny said for them.
"Well then will you all please just get off my back?" He turned and left.
The cap started to say something.
"No, Cap, please," Johnny intervened. "Leave him alone . He wants to work this out for himself."
"What out?" the cap was angry.
"I don't know. Something's sure bothering him but he doesn't want to talk about it. I don't think it has anything to do with us but we'll just have to bare with him till he's ready to talk about it."
"John, he's acting erratic. If it's going to interfere with his work --"
"No, I don't think it will. He'll forget all about it when he has something else to think about. He was fine on the last rescue. Please, just give him some time, okay?"
"Well you're the one who's going to have to put up with his disposition more than the rest of us," the cap cautioned.
"I know, Cap. I will. Come on, he's a friend. We owe it to him. We'll just have to handle him with kid gloves for awhile."
"The man has a problem," Marco said firmly.
"Well, we don't want to make it any worse," Johnny pleaded.
"Okay, John. We'll play it your way for a while but I'm not at all sure about this." Captain Stanley was skeptical.
"Don't worry, Cap. I'll take care of it," Johnny promised. He was relieved that he'd won his partner a reprieve from the cap's anger but he was still worried about Roy's sudden short fuse. "I'm gonna go talk to him."
"Good luck," Chet called as Johnny headed out to the back lot to find Roy. Chet was actually sincere in his wish.
"I've never seen DeSoto like that." The cap was still a little stunned.
"Something is really bothering him," worried Marco.
***
Roy was out back looking at their old engine. Johnny approached with care."She's a beauty, isn't she?"
"Yeah," Roy said quietly. He seemed a bit distant.
"I was thinking maybe we should replace this headlight," Johnny began nervously.
"Why?" Roy asked
"Well, see how pitted the chrome is. A new one would look a lot better."
"I suppose." Roy's mind seemed to be elsewhere.
"I know where we could get one," Johnny said hopefully. If he could just get him to talk, about anything, it would be a step in the right direction.
***
Chet peeked out into the backlot through a window in the dorm.
"What's going on?" Marco whispered.
The sound of Marco's voice startled Chet. He thought he was being so sneaky in his movements to spy on John and Roy. "They're working on their old engine."
"Good," the cap was relieved. He was also spying but he didn't think of it in those terms. "How does Roy seem?"
"Calmer," Chet reported.
"Maybe we're making a mountain out of a molehill," the cap suggested hopefully.
None of them believed that for a minute but Chet knew he couldn't get any serious spying done with Marco and the cap breathing down his neck. He decided on plan B -- one they'd both be sure to avoid.
"I'm going to go inventory the supply closet," Chet seemed to suddenly just decide. The closet was in the garage right near the back door. In the past, voices had carried in from the back lot and he'd gathered a lot of valuable information that way. The best thing was, no one had ever suspected a thing.
"Keep your ears open," Marco advised. Chet was the only one who thought his listening post was a secret. They had each staged a conversation for him to eavesdrop on at some time or other.
***
Johnny and Roy were busy washing the engine. Roy stood on the running board and hosed down the roof. Johnny was washing the tires. He looked up at Roy curiously.
"What's wrong?" Roy asked when he noticed it.
"I'm kind of afraid to say," Johnny said honestly.
Roy suppressed a smile. "Why is that?"
"Well, I'm worried."
"About what?"
Johnny swallowed. He didn't want to make Roy mad again but he did want to be honest. "About you."
"What?" Roy laughed.
"Well, you seem kind of uptight. I just wondered if maybe I could help."
"Johnny," Roy began.
"I don't want to make you mad , now,"Johnny interrupted nervously. "If it's none of my business just tell me and I'll drop it. I swear!"
"Johnny, it's nothing," Roy said.
"Roy, something is wrong." Johnny said kindly
"I'm just tired is all," Roy told him.
He seemed calm enough so Johnny pressed on. "Are you sure?" He was worried and he let it show.
"I'm sure, Johnny." Roy was beginning to get aggravated.
"Well, if I can help in any way," Johnny could not stop himself from pressing the matter further.
"You can help me by not nagging me," Roy said evenly. "I get enough of that at home." He dropped the rag he'd been using to wipe down the engine and walked back into the station house in a huff. He headed for the washroom.
Johnny followed him as far as the garage and then walked up to Chet. "That's what I was afraid of," he whispered in shock.
"A riff between him and Joanne, huh?"
"I'd say it was more than a riff for him to be this upset," Johnny commented.
"I never thought I‘d see anything happen to Roy's marriage," Chet gasped as he and Johnny walked into the day room. "I mean he was the most happily married guy I've ever met."
"Chet, we don't know --" Johnny began.
"So that's it," said the cap.
Mike and Marco were equally astounded by the news.
"We're guessing," Johnny insisted."But it might be, so let's just take it easy on him for a while."
They all nodded sympathetically. If poor Roy's world was falling apart like that no wonder he was acting a little strange.
Just then the alarm sounded.
***
Once the victims were safely in the hands of the ER staff, Roy and Johnny stopped for supplies. Dixie and Johnny swapped small talk.
"You're awfully quiet today, Roy," she challenged.
Johnny was a bundle of nerves. He had been jabbering away with Dixie because he was so relieved to talk to someone who wasn't apt to bite his head off with every comment.
"When I don't have anything to say, I keep my mouth shut," Roy said evenly. He then turned and left.
Johnny knew it was a shot at him not Dixie but the shocked look on Dixie's face told him that she had no such knowledge. "He's not himself today, Dix. You'll have to forgive him."
"Who the heck is he, Mr Hyde?" she said snidely but the worried look on Johnny's face made her recant a little. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know for sure," he said in a hushed whisper. "But I think it's some trouble between him and Joanne. He's really down." Johnny expertly played on Dixie's sympathies.
Dixie softened. Roy DeSoto wouldn't act like that without a very good reason. "I'm sure things will work out."
"Yeah, me too. Look, I'd better go. See ya," he said with a forced smile, picked up the drug box and turned to go. "‘Lo, Doc," he greeted Dr Early as they passed each other in front of the nurses' station.
"Johnny," Dr Early greeted as he leaned on the nurses' station. Once Johnny was out of earshot he turned to Dixie. "What the heck is the matter with Roy?" He knew Dixie would have the lodown on any situation that was even remotely connected with Rampart. "I asked him a simple question and he almost bit my head off."
"You'll have to forgive him, Joe," Dix lowered her voice and looked around to be sure no one could overhear what she had to say, "Johnny thinks his marriage might be temporarily on the rocks."
"Roy?!!"
"Well you saw the way he acted. He's awfully bugged about something."
***
Roy seemed to withdraw more and more during the rest of that shift and the next one. He became quieter and seemed to have a lower boiling point. Everyone guessed he was having marriage difficulties but no one could get him to talk about it. He lashed out viscously at Johnny and Dixie one time when they tried to imply it. He'd also had a fight with the cap which the cap could not bring himself to report. They all wanted to help and he resented their interference. He seemed to have difficulty sleeping.
Chet tried to tease him out of his doldrums and got decked for his efforts.
"Get up and I'll knock you down again," Roy seethed with rage.
Chet was beginning to fear for his life when the alarm sounded. It was just for the squad. Once they'd driven away Chet dared get up and stumble into the day room where the other were. His nose was bleeding.
"What happened, Chet?" Marco got up from the table to help him.
"Remember that great idea I had about teasing Roy back to normal -- it failed."
"He socked you?" Mike was surprised.
"This can't go on," the cap was firm. "We're all pampering him and we never know what he's going to do next, how he's going to take something. Gage is on the verge of an ulcer. I'm going to have to suspend him."
"Cap, he needs help," Marco argued.
"He needs professional help. We're sure not getting anywhere. Now he's getting violent."
"Ah, cap," Chet hedged. "I might have kinda asked for it."
"Chet, can you honestly say -- any of you-- that you feel you can depend on him in a life and death situation -- like you used to -- like you have to. Like we all have to."
"Cap, we've never had any trouble with him in that kind of situation," Marco argued frantically.
"The man is going to pieces. I'm sure he doesn't even realize it but a man in that condition is a safety hazard." The cap was firm.
"Cap, let him finish out the shift and see how it goes. We'll all watch him like hawks and then we'll really know where he stands," Chet begged. He was afraid his bad judgement was going to ruin Roy's excellent record with the department.
Since Captain Stanley did not want to do what he knew he should do he let them talk him into postponing it.
The captain was right about one thing. Johnny was on the verge of an ulcer. He had even hidden a few things that had disturbed him. Roy was starting to get a little forgetful. His moodiness was increasing. His outbursts were no longer interspersed with moments of the old Roy. Now when he wasn't angry he was barely there at all. Johnny could feel his friend slipping away and he had no idea how to help him. He wondered if Roy was having a nervous breakdown. He didn't really want to think about it. He wanted to do something about it. He tried to ask Roy to go to a ball game with him. He figured that after a few beers he might let his guard down and unwind and talk about whatever it was that was eating him. His plan was doomed to failure, however, because Roy had refused the offer.
Back at the station Roy got the feeling that the others were spying on him. He flew into a fit of rage when Marco asked him what kind of pill he'd seen him take. He had his hands around Marco's throat when Johnny intervened. He pulled Roy off before he'd actually hurt Marco but the terror on Marco's face was something he never thought he'd see -- at least not something that was caused by Roy.
"Roy, you're getting paranoid," Johnny yelled at him in his nervousness.
"They're spying on me. Every time I turn around one of them is watching me!" Roy was emotional.
"No they aren't," Johnny argued.
"You're in it with them," Roy accused.
Johnny was the only one that didn't know that he was actually right about them.
"We're all worried about you," Marco ventured, rubbing the red marks on his neck.
"What for?!" Roy blasted him.
Marco drew back and Johnny, once more, stepped between them. "Roy," he began nervously, "you have a problem. Maybe you should talk to someone."
"What is with you guys?! All week you've been trying to tell me a have a problem. I don't. And I don't want to talk to anyone."
"Not one of us," Johnny boldly suggested. "Someone else. Someone who's trained to handle something like this."
"Like what?"
"Maybe a marriage counselor," Marco jumped in to suggest when Johnny seemed to come up blank.
"A WHAT?!!" Roy didn't, for the life of him, know what they were talking about.
Just then the alarm sounded.
"Station 51, man trapped Sullivan Street Theater, 415 Sullivan Street ,4-1-5 Sullivan Street. Time out 1:15"
The cap acknowledged the call and they rolled on it.
***
It turned out it was a lighting technician who had fallen from a spotlight stand was trapped high up in the rafters of the old theater. The rescue necessitated Roy and Johnny climbing up after him. They climbed up on to the platform that he'd fallen from to try and figure out the best way to get to him.
Suddenly Roy grabbed Johnny's arm. He was sweating profusely. "Johnny," he gasped in a loud whisper, "have you ever been scared. Really scared?"
"Yeah, sometimes," Johnny admitted. He did not try to cloak the worry in his voice.
"I mean so scared that you couldn't move. So scared your guts felt like a cold, hollow pit and your arms and legs felt like weights and you could hardly breathe?"
Johnny was very concerned. He crawled back from the edge of the platform. Roy was directly behind him. He gently pushed him away from the edge till he was up against the wall of the theater. Roy still had a hold of his arm and his grip was vise-like. "It's okay, Roy," he said gently, "You can stay right here." He'd never known Roy to have a fear of heights before but this panic attack sure demonstrated that he had one now.
"I'll fall," Roy whispered in a terrified voice. His breathing was becoming rapid.
"No, you won't," Johnny told him in a kind but firm voice. "You've got this safety belt around you and I'm tying your rope off to this great big beam here. You're perfectly safe. You just close your eyes for a few minutes and relax, okay?" He loosened Roy's collar. "Are you still having trouble breathing?"
"No. I --I'm just -- so tired."
"Well, you rest here for a minute. I'm going to help this man down them come back for you, okay?"
"Okay," Roy still sounded frightened, "but hurry."
"I will. You'll be fine here. Just take it easy."
Johnny was very worried about Roy but he didn't want to advertize what had just happened. He lowered himself down to the light man's position.
"Where's your buddy?"
"Oh, he's up there. He's a little under the weather. We figured you had enough problems without exposing you to the flu."
"You got that right," the man laughed.
"Are you hurt?"
"I don't think so. I'm just tangled up in the cable but since it was all that was between me and forty feet of empty air I didn't really feel like cutting any of it."
"I see your point. Well, here I brought an extra safety harness. Let's get you into it then I'll cut you free and those guys on the floor down there will lower you down."
"Sounds like a plan," the tech said agreeably.
When the man was safely lowered to the ground Johnny crawled back to Roy. He seemed to be dozing. Johnny gently shook his shoulder.
"Hmmmmm what?"
"Come on, " Johnny smiled kindly. "Let's get you down."
"But what about --" Roy looked toward the place where the man had been trapped.
"It's alright. I got him down," Johnny assured him.
"Well bully for you," Roy snapped angrily. "If you wanted to work alone why didn't you say so before I climbed all the way up here?"
"But, Roy, you didn't feel up to it. Don't you remember?"
"Don't give me that -- you liar!" Roy barked. He tried to get up. He did not remember that Johnny had tied his line off so he didn't fall.
"Wait a minute. Let me get you loose."
"What the hell did you do to me?!!" Roy was enraged and he tried to lunge at Johnny. They were almost fifty feet in the air on a ten foot square platform. This was no place for Roy to flip out.
"Take it easy!!" Johnny was now more than a little frightened himself but he still tried to be firm. "Just hold still and I'll get you loose." Johnny's hands were shaking and he was fumbling with the rope but he didn't dare get out anything to cut it with. He wasn't sure what Roy would do if he got a hold of some kind of weapon.
"You won't get away with this," Roy promised evilly. "Just you remember that, Junior," Roy shoved him hard once he was free and crawled past him without another word. He was angry. He was mean. He was unstable. Johnny was very worried. He couldn't look the other way or cover up for him this time. Roy had truly lost it and he was going to have to be the one to turn him in for it. He let Roy crawl all the way down before he left the platform. He sure didn't want to set him off up in the air.
He got down as slowly as he could. He dreaded telling the cap. He started walking up to him when the cap's Handy talky sparked to life asking if the squad was available. The man was not hurt so as far as the Cap knew, they were and he told dispatch so.
The squad was assigned an unknown type rescue at an address pretty far in the boonies. "Squads must be running thin today," Roy stated. "Come on, Johnny, we're gonna have to book it to get all the way out there." He took off at a run to get to the squad.
Johnny was torn. He knew he had to report what had happened to the cap but Roy seemed alright now and they did have a pretty long trek to the address they were given. He decided it could wait. Maybe Roy had gotten it all out of his system and everything would be fine. Maybe pigs would start to fly. He cursed his cowardice but took the easy route and followed Roy out to the squad.
They sped off toward the address they were given. But they had just barely left civilization when the run was canceled. Roy definitely seemed more rational now. Johnny relaxed just a tad bit.
"Roy," he began tentatively, "have you been feeling alright lately?"
"Yeah, why?" Roy answered in an off- handed manner.
"Well -- quite frankly, Roy. I'm worried about you." Johnny decided not to pull any punches. They had a long drive back to the station maybe they could finally talk this thing out. He was desperately trying to find a way to fix this before they got back and Johnny had to bust him.
"Not again!" Roy was disgusted. "I told you to drop that."
"Well, I'm sorry, Roy, but I can't. You haven't been yourself lately and I'd like to know why. Maybe you're sick or something," Johnny ventured, grasping at straws but he knew he couldn't back down. This had to come out into the open and he preferred to take it up with Roy before he did with the cap.
"Sick!!" Roy was getting more and more agitated. He suddenly pulled off the main road and onto a dirt road that looked like little more than a lovers' lane.
"Where are we going?" This move was completely unexpected and Johnny was unnerved by it.
"I'll show you who is sick!" Roy pulled the squad up in a secluded area and got out. He stormed around to the other side, opened the passenger door and yanked the startled Johnny out of the vehicle. He smashed him with an angry fist. The blow sent Johnny sprawling to the ground. Before Johnny could collect his wits Roy picked him up and slugged him again. "Now, do you still think I'm sick?" His voice shook with emotion as he stood over Johnny in a threatening manner.
"Yes," Johnny said slowly. "More than ever."
Roy angrily yanked him to his feet again.
"Roy, let me finish."
Roy's fist was drawn back again but he did stop to listen.
"Lately you've been doing things --strange things. I don't think you know what you are doing half the time."
"I know what I'm doing!" Roy yelled and decked him again.
"Roy, have you had any headaches lately?" Johnny didn't dare get up but he kept talking to him hoping he could think of something, anything, that would get through to Roy. He suspected he might be fighting for his life here but he knew that he was fighting for Roy's.
"None of your damn business!" he roared, grabbing Johnny by the collar again and pulling him to his feet.
"Roy, I'm trying to help you."
"I don't need any help."
"Yes you do. Can't you see what is happening to you?"
"You'd better worry about what's happening to you." Roy slugged him again but held on to his shirt so he didn't fall. The blow took Johnny square in the nose and his nose erupted in blood. "You'd better fight back," Roy warned.
"Roy, I'm not going to fight you. If it makes you feel better to beat me up. Go ahead." Johnny choked on the blood that was flowing into his mouth from his nose.
"Coward!!" Roy laughed insanely and punching him a few more times. "Chicken! You're scared!"
"Yes I am, Roy. I'm scared for you. You're completely out of control"
"So? You're a big boy. You should be able to take care of yourself. I'm going to make you fight back."
"You can't control yourself, can you, Roy? Admit it." Johnny pressed his point.
"I'll get you to fight back you lily-livered coward. I'll just keep beating on you until you do!" Roy vowed, accenting his point with a few vicious blows to Johnny's abdomen.
Johnny doubled over and groaned but he had made up his mind that there was nothing Roy could do that would cause him to fight with him. Despite the fact that Roy was furious, he wasn't really that much of a fighter. Johnny was sure he could take him if he had to. He'd just let him exhaust himself a little first.
"Now will you fight back?" Roy leered.
"No. I don't want to hurt you, Roy."
"HA! You hurt me?! That's a good one. You're the one that's bleeding like a stuck pig." Roy continued to land blows on him but he did not return them.
"Does it make you feel good to do this?" Johnny asked when Roy stopped for a minute to catch his breath.
"Yes!!," Roy said evilly and began to pepper him again. "Yes - yes - yes. How do you like that?"
"I don't like it at all. Think about it, Roy, suppose the next time you want to beat someone up I'm not around. What if one day you suddenly find yourself beating up Joanne or one of the kids?" Johnny said while trying to spit out the blood that was gushing in to his mouth from his split lip. One of his eyes was swelling shut but he fought to keep Roy in focus.
"I wouldn't do that!" Roy suddenly paled. He let go of Johnny who was unable to keep himself from falling again." I -- I" Suddenly Roy put both hands on his head. "I --oww"
Johnny weakly picked himself up. "Does your head hurt?" he worried .
"Yes."
"How long has it been hurting?" Johnny struggled to think like a paramedic.
"I don't remember when it didn't hurt," Roy admitted meekly.
"It's okay, Roy. Just relax. We're going to help you."
Roy looked at him pitifully. "What have I done? What happened? You're bleeding --"
"It's alright, Roy. Don't worry about it," he smiled relieved to have reached him at all. "Just my nose. I always did have a glass nose, you know that. You just sit here on the running board and I'll call dispatch," Johnny said kindly.
Roy sat down on the running board as Johnny had suggested. He seemed to be in a mild state of shock. He was meek and compliant but Johnny knew that could change and he wanted to have Roy someplace where they could help him before that happened. He felt a little dizzy himself but he ignored it and he reached into the squad and grabbed the mic. He gave LA their approximate location and asked for an ambulance.
Engine 51 had been assigned to check out some possible brush fire conditions in the vicinity. They heard Johnny's call and decided to roll on it. They were sure that the squad's run had been canceled and the fact that Johnny had called for an ambulance filled them with dread.
Roy was still sitting on the running board. He stared straight ahead and did not respond when Johnny tried speaking to him. He did not react when Johnny passed his hand in front of his face. He appeared to be in a catatonic state. "Hang on, Pal. Help's on its way," Johnny promised but he wasn't at all sure that Roy heard him. Johnny suddenly felt drained. He sat down on the ground next to Roy. He decided he should try to do something about his nosebleed so that when the ambulance got there they wouldn't mistake him for the patient. He had to lie down on the ground and apply pressure to his nose. He felt too lightheaded sitting up and he wasn't about to pass out now when Roy needed him. He started thinking about what would happen to Roy. This place looked like a crime scent thanks to his nose. If Roy was arrested he'd never get the help he needed. The more Johnny thought about it the more frightened he became. He was so deep in thought that he didn't even hear the engine pull up. Things were even looking a little hazy so he was very startled and he even jumped when the cap suddenly touched his shoulder.
"John, " he asked kindly, "what happened?"
"Oh, you know me, Cap, I was leaning on the door of the squad and it opened. I -ah- I fell out."
"You fell out of the squad?!"
"Yeah," Johnny smiled sheepishly. "Pretty klutzy, huh?"
Marco had gotten a cold compress from the squad and applied it to Johnny's nose. He shared a look of disbelief with the cap.
Chet had tentatively approached Roy. He could not get him to respond. It was like he was in a complete state of shock over Johnny's accident. It had been Johnny himself who had called for the ambulance. "What the heck were you doing way out here anyway?" he wondered.
"My fault again," Johnny said quickly. Marco had his nose bleed stopped and he sat up. He was determined to convince them that this whole thing was entirely his fault. "I thought I knew a short cut but I guess I had the wrong road."
"Short cut to where?" Marco asked. "Your run was canceled."
"Short cut back to the station, Marco." Johnny glared at him.
Marco had had his fill of paramedics flying off the handle at him. He went over and joined Chet. He looked closely at Roy. He even dared shake his shoulder. "What's wrong , Roy?"
Roy did not respond.
"I think he's in shock," Marco told them.
***
The engine followed the ambulance to Rampart. The engine company burst into the ER along with the attendants. Since no call had come in the hospital staff was surprised to see them. They were ever more surprised to see a drowsy, blood-covered Johnny on the gurney. One look at Roy indicated he was in no shape to have been much help to him. The firemen seemed less devastated.
"What in the world happened?" Dixie asked Captain Stanley.
"He says he was leaning on the door of the squad. It came opened and he fell out."
Dixie made a face, getting a mental picture of Johnny flying out of a speeding squad. "What's with Roy?"
"I guess he's blaming himself for the accident. He was like that when we found him." He wanted to say more about Roy but Johnny's condition seemed to be more pressing at the moment. Captain Stanley kept trying to make some sense out of what Johnny had told them but it just didn't add up.
"Roy?" Dixie shook his arm forcefully. "Roy?"
"What?"
"It wasn't your fault what happened to Johnny. Now pull yourself together. We may need you to answer some questions."
"Is he alright?"
"Dr Early and Dr Morton are with him now. Don't worry, he's in good hands," she smiled. She then headed back toward the treatment room to assist.
"Yes," Roy mumbled. "He is now." Then he suddenly seemed to become more alert. "I have to talk to Dr Brackett."
"He's in his office," Dixie supplied as she pushed open the door to the treatment room. If they needed Roy the could phone him there.
Dr Early stepped out of the room and addressed himself to the firemen. "Did you see the accident happen?"
"No," the cap answered, "Johnny told us about it. He was alert and conscious when we arrived. Is he okay?"
"I'm still examining him," Early told them. He seemed preoccupied.
"Why don't you guys go make yourselves comfortable in the lounge. I'll see how he is." Dixie offered.
She walked into the treatment room. Joe and Mike stood at one corner talking quietly while Carol cleaned out Johnny's cuts.
"I've seen it before," Joe was saying to Mike "And every time I do I can't understand it. I've seen it with battered wives, abused children..."
"Seen what, Joe?" Dixie wanted to know.
"This syndrome of lying to protect the one that did it. I don't know it they are afraid or embarrassed."
"Joe, what are you talking about," Dixie demanded.
"Dixie, he didn't fall out of that squad."
"He says he did."
"He's lying. Someone worked him over."
"You suppose that's what stunned Roy so bad?" Mike asked "Having them get jumped by who knows who and seeing Johnny get a beating? That must be what really happened."
"You know, gentlemen," Dixie said stonily, getting quite another picture of what may have happened. "There's another reason why people lie about having been beaten -- they are trying to protect people that they care very deeply about."
"You mean these maniacs might have threatened their families if they talked?" Morton surmised.
"No I mean the one that did the beating is someone the victim cares about."
Mike was still perplexed but the light was beginning to dawn on Joe. He suddenly paled, "You don't mean Roy?!"
***
Roy knocked on Dr Brackett's door.
"Who is it?"
"Roy DeSoto. Can I talk to you? It's urgent."
"Sure, Roy. Come on in What's on your mind?."
"I want to resign from the paramedic program."
"What?!! Sit down. What's the matter?"
"I don't know what the matter is, but it's something and I can't endanger innocent people."
"Roy, suppose you calm down and start at the beginning," Brackett suggested kindly. He did his utmost to maintain a calm attitude as well.
"Doc, we just brought Johnny in. He's hurt. Someone hurt him."
"Roy, I know it's rough when your partner gets hurt but ---"
"Let me finish, Doc. Someone hurt him and there was no one with him but me. My memory is a blank. I don't know what happened but I'm afraid I did it. I hurt him. I think I'm losing my mind." Roy almost broke down.
"Roy," Brackett was moved. He hadn't seen much of Roy lately so he knew nothing about his odd behavior "Tell me all about it," he said kindly.
"They tell me I did things I don't remember doing. They look at me like -- like they are afraid of me. My head -- my head hurts. I feel so mad sometimes I could explode. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm tired and I'm scared. There you have it, Doc. A classic case of schizophrenia"
"Let's not jump to any rash diagnosis, Doctor," Brackett teased him lightly. He walked around the desk and took a small penlight out of his pocket to use to check Roy's pupils. "Classic schizophrenia does not necessarily manifest itself with headache. And irrational behavior is seldom recognized as such in most patients. Let's take a physiolgocal approach over a psychological one for starters Let's admit you and find out exactly what's going on."
"What's going on is I'm insane," Roy muttered bitterly.
"We have no proof of that, Roy."
"Go take a look at Johnny and you'll have proof enough. Even though I can't remember -- somehow I know I'm responsible. I know I did it to him. I think I wanted to hurt him. To shut him up. He kept after me all the time and I just had to shut him up. My head. He made my head hurt. He was nagging me all the time. Asking me what was wrong constantly and .. and he was right, wasn't he?"
"Take it easy, Roy. We'll admit you right now and find out what's wrong." He picked up the phone to make arrangements and soon Roy was up on the fourth floor undergoing a series of tests. He was given a complete skull series and an MRI. Brackett stayed with him and when the tests were completed it took only a few minutes to find the cause of Roy's problem. A miniscule tumor had formed right under the bruise he had incurred when his head had hit the brass footrest at the The End Zone.
"Found your problem," Brackett told Roy
"So soon?" Roy had been prepared for a lenghty examination.
"Well," Brackett straddling a small chair and sitting down on it backwards. He had some x-rays and MRI scans in his hand. "I knew what to look for. We had a smililar case in the last week or so. A bouncer from a bar exhibiting sporatic bouts of psychosis."
"Hey, I remember that, Doc. We brought him in. Did I catch something from him? You know that's a great releif because I'd been sitting here thinking I had some kind of brain tumor or something." His great relief disappeared when he saw the look on Brackett's face.
"Roy," he began, "the word tumor mearly means swelling. There are all sorts of ---"
"I've got a brain tumor?!"
"Let me show you the pictures. According to these, you have a tiny bit of swelling right here," he pressed the spot on Roy's head that the scans indicated. Applying pressure to the bruise was painful. "We show a recent head injury right here."
"Oww"
"How did you get that?"
"I don't know. I don't remember hurting myself -- a brain tumor," he muttered.
"Don't be so scared," Brackett took pity on him. "We can easily remove it at this stage. It was caused by an injury it's almost certain to be begnign."
"Almost certain?"
"We can do the surgery tomorrow. I'll get Joe Early ----"
"So soon?" Roy's attempt to hide his fear was a complete failure.
"The sooner the better, Roy. We caught this early but we still want to treat it aggressively."
"I - I guess so. I have to call Joanne."
"We'll get you settled in a room on the surgical wing and you can call from there. And, Roy, don't worry . Believe it or not, this sort of thing is pretty routine these days."
***
Brackett went back down to the ER. He met Dixie outside one of the treatment rooms. "You'd better step in here, Kel," she said simply.
He followed her in to the room where Joe and Mike were treating Johnny.
"I'm telling you, Doc, I fell out of the squad. I always lean on the door. It's a bad habit."
"Then how do you account for all the contusions and lacerations on you face?"
"I fell on my face," Johnny's voice cracked with emotion. "Why are you guys giving me the third degree?"
"Johnny," Mike began, "we aren't going to be able to treat you until we know what happened -- the truth."
"I told you the truth. If you don't want to treat me, fine. Give me my clothes back and let me leave." Johnny had been grilled for almost an hour but he was determined to tell them nothing that would implicate his partner.
"Johnny," Brackett said simply,"when did Roy incur that bruise on his head. Was it while he was on duty?"
"What bruise?" Johnny's voice was barely audible he was so shocked.
"He has a contusion at the base of the skull."
"He does?!"
"Yes and it's caused the growth of a small tumor that has been pinching ever so slightly on his brain stem.That's what has been causing him to behave the way he has."
"Tumor," Johnny gasped. "Will he be alright?"
"He should be after surgery."
"Brain surgery." All the color drained out of Johnny's face.
"Johnny, are you alright?" Joe Early stepped closer to him and took his arm, fearing he might pass out.
"Little woozy," Johnny admitted.
"You just lie right back down there right now," Dxie commanded as she and Joe eased him back onto the exam table.
"Johnny, try and remember, has Roy incurred an type of head injury recently that you know of?"
"No I -wait a minute. Yes! About a week ago. He hit his head on the brass foot rail at a bar when we were on a call. He was alright, though, At least he said he was..." Johnny realized that that was exactly when all of Roy's symptoms began. It was staring him in the face all the time and he'd missed it. "I should have made sure," he said miserably. He was feeling overwhelmed by guilt.
"Well at the very least you should have reported his symptoms -- " Brackett began but Joe cut him off.
"What good did you think you were doing by covering up for him -- like with this cock and bull story about falling out of the squad."
"You weren't helping a thing trying to protect him that way. If he hadn't come to ask for help himself this might have gone on until it was too late." Brackett jumped in to the discussion with both feet.
Both Brackett and Early were trying to scare him enough that nothing like this would ever happen again. What neither of them noticed was the real effect it was having on Johnny. He felt like his whole world was coming apart.
Dixie, however, did notice. Their lack of sensitivity appalled her. "It doesn't matter now. What Johnny did he did out of loyalty and friendship not malice. Joe you're a neurosurgeon -- a specialist and you blew Roy's symptoms off -- how can you come down on him like that? We all noticed he was acting peculiar and none of us did anything. If you're going to blame Johnny you'll have to blame the rest of us too. You all know how hard it is to diagnose someone that is close to you. Now let's stop acting like petulant children and do something to help Roy. That's the important thing."
"She's right. Sorry, Johnny," Dr Early said, laying his hand on Johnny's shoulder. "So, you'll be needing my services?" he asked Kelly.
"After all this Hose Jockey has gone through for his partner I'd say we want the very best. Yes, we want you to head the team."
"You've got it. When do we go?"
"The sooner the better. How about tomorrow morning?" The two doctors were busy making plans and started to leave.
"Doc," Johnny called them back. "How is he?"
"He's resting in the surgical unit right now."
"Does he know?"
"Yes. He was upset because he felt responsible for hurting you but he couldn't remember a thing."
"He didn't know what he was doing," Johnny said quietly.
"Good thing - otherwise you'd be in a lot worse shape than you are," Morton put in.
"Can I see him?"
"Maybe after the surgery. He's calling Joanne and I don't want him to have any excitement till this is all over. Once they finish sewing you up, you can go, though," Brackett told him. But Johnny still looked pretty devastated. "He's gonna be alright, Johnny. We caught it in plenty of time."
"I'm just glad it's finally out in the open so we can do something about it You have no idea the kind of hell this week has been. We wanted to help him. We all tried. We just didn't know what to do."
Among Dixie McCall's unofficial duties she listed pinning back the ears of arrogant doctors and hugging hapless paramedics. She had just performed one of those duties on Kel and Joe she now performed the other on Johnny. She hugged him and shooed the doctors out of the room.
***
Late the next afternoon Johnny poked his head into Roy's room.
Joanne looked up. "Come on in, Johnny," she smiled.
"How is he?" Johnny asked in a loud whisper. "Is he sleeping?"
"Not any more," Roy teased him. His voice was weak but he did sound like the old Roy.
"Oh yeah, " Johnny came in to the room. "Well, I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd stop by and check up on you."
"In the neighborhood?" Roy sounded doubtful but as Johnny got close he could clearly see his swollen lip and black eye. He couldn't help but gasp, "I did that!"
"What are you talking about, Roy?"
"Johnny, nobody ever believed you fell out of the squad."
"It's my story and I'm sticking with it." Johnny vowed. "Besides how did you know? You were - ah - a little out of it."
"Captain Stanley told me, Johnny, and I told Roy." Joanne told him. She too, winced at the sight of Johnny's bruised face.
"Hey," Johnny objected, "I could have fallen out of the squad. Why does everyone doubt me?"
"If anyone could, you could, Junior," Roy laughed but then became serious. "Johnny - I -- ah -- I wanted to apologize ---"
"Hey, think nothing of it. It didn't even mar my cute -- in fact, my - ah - new look is working out pretty good. That pretty new nurse I've been trying to meet -- turns out she works on this wing and now, thanks to all this -- I've met her."
"Glad I could be of assistance," Roy said sourly.
There was an awkward moment of silence then Johnny said, "So, Joanne, how do you think ol' Roy here looks in a turban?" He was referring to the large bandage Roy wore on his head.
"He looks pretty good to me," she smiled.
"I - ah - I want to thank you -- all the guys for putting up with me," Roy began.
"With what?" Johnny tired to make light of it.
"Johnny! I tried to kill you and from what the cap said, Marco and Chet too!"
"Naw, Roy - you just scared Marco a little, you improved my social life and since when was somebody trying to kill Chet anything out of the ordinary?" Johnny laughed.
"You certainly are in a good mood."
"Why not? I have a date with one of your nurses as soon as her shift ends."
"Which one?"
"The pretty one."
"Johnny, you know I never notice what any woman, other than my wife, looks like!"
"Oh yeah, of course." Johnny blanched.
"You two are about as smooth as six miles of back road," Joanne laughed.
"I think we've been insulted," Johnny said to Roy.
"Count on it," Roy smiled.
"Well, look. I'm not supposed to stay too long." Johnny said.
"And you have a date," Roy teased him.
"Well, that too but I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing."
"I'm doing just fine now, thanks to you and the other guys."
"We didn't do anything."
"Well you tried to. I mean there's a lot I don't remember but what I do remember I --"
"Roy, don't worry about any of that. We know that wasn't really you. Oh, I almost forgot. Me and the guys, we chipped in to get you a little something." He handed him a square package wrapped in silver and white paper.
"Happy anniversary?" Roy read the wrapper.
"That's all the paper we had except for Christmas stuff," Johnny confessed.
"Well, it's what's inside that counts, right? Feels too heavy to be candy," Roy commented as he unwrapped the present. Once he'd removed the paper a book dropped into his lap. He turned it over so he could read the cover. It was Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
"JOHHNNNEEEEEE!" he yelled, but Johnny just peeled out of the room.
Joanne had to laugh. It had been a hell of a week for her too but it looked like things were definitely getting back to normal. She had complained about station house antics before but she was beginning to appreciate them a little now. She knew it was the guys' way of letting Roy know all was forgiven.
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