"I hate these 'unknown calls'" Johnny complained to Roy as they headed down the freeway. "Here's your exit," he gestured.
Roy sighed, knowing it could be anything from a 90 year old woman with a flat tire to a man in a lion cage. Well, maybe not a lion cage, they were heading to a grocery store for an unknown rescue. Wouldn't that be a funny sight he thought to himself. A lion in the middle of the grocery store. He chuckled to himself.
"What's so funny?" Johnny asked.
"Oh, just thinking of a lion in the grocery store," Roy said while still laughing.
"Wha.... huh? Lion?" Johnny looked confused.
Roy continued laughing, he'd thrown himself into a fit of giggles and couldn't get the image of a lion in the grocery store and Johnny's dumbfounded look out of his mind.
"Here we go," Johnny said as they pulled into the parking lot. A large crowd had gathered outside of the store.
Several people came running toward the squad "Hurry! You are NEVER going to believe this," a middle age man said with disbelief on his face.
Roy looked at Johnny as he said, "There isn't a lion in there is there, Mister?"
"Huh???"
"Never mind, Sir....... show us the way," Roy started walking toward the store.
As they made their way through the crowd they observed people standing on their toes, trying to get a glimpse in the window. Hushed whispers all around as the crowd parted to let the paramedics through. John Gage crashed through the door first and came to a sudden stop. Roy was so close on his heels that he managed to bump into the back of him.
Both men stood with their mouths open in surprise. They couldn't really believe what they were seeing.
Across the top of the cereal aisle hung a sign that read: APPEARING TODAY IN PERSON LOONEY LION. Be sure to try Looney's brand new cereal Looney Lion Loops!!!! You'll jump thru hoops for Looney Lion Loops!
Underneath the sign, at the far end of the aisle was what should have been a large pyramid stack display of boxes of cereal. However the display had not been properly stacked and a mountain of cereal boxes had spilled onto the floor. Two stock boys were meticulously picking up and restacking the cereal boxes under the scornful eye of the store manager.
The cap and the others joined Roy and Johnny.
"What have you got, Roy?" the cap asked.
"I haven't the slightest idea, Cap," he admitted honestly. He now realized where his weird thought about a lion in the grocery store had come from. Chris had been pestering them all week to come down and meet Looney, who was the star of a kid's television show. Roy had wondered how a cartoon character could appear in person. If he hadn't been scheduled to work he probably would have brought him. Joanne said he was too big a softy.
Suddenly a small boy pushed his way out of the crowd and ran up to the firemen. "Daddy! Daddy! You have to save him!"
"Chris?" Roy bent down to pick up his son. His eyes searched the crowd till they fell on a very embarrassed looking Joanne. Who was the softy now? He had no time to communicate with her as Chris was tugging insistently on his collar.
"Daddy, save Looney!"
Roy still didn't know what Chris was talking about.
"Roy," Johnny said, "I think there is someone under all that mess."
"Looney is. He was doing his Looney Dance and when he swinged his arms around KA-PLOOEY all the cereal fell down! I think he might be dead under there," Chris looked frightened.
"Oh no, that's not it," Chet stepped up, "I'll bet he's just taking one of his Looney Naps under there. You know what happens when he gets tired."
Chris nodded. "He's very hard to wake up."
"But I think I know a way. It might take a while and I'll need your help."
"I'll help," Chris promised fascinated that a grown up could know so much about Looney Lion. His dad watched the show with him on Saturday mornings but Dad usually fell asleep on the couch.
"I'm not sure that you'll be enough," Chet said seriously. "I think I need the help of all you kids." He looked around the crowd in search of volunteers. He got them. "Okay now if all the kids and all the moms would come with me. We'll go out to that nice big red fire truck that's right outside the door. I bet if we ask real nice, we could get Fireman Mike to let each one of you try the air horn and maybe even the siren. We'll wake Looney up in no time."
Cheers erupted and the kids followed Chet out to the engine.
"He's going to make an excellent mother some one of these days," Johnny laughed. Still it was a good way to get the kids out of the way. He also remembered that Stoker was nursing a headache today from a little over indulgence at a friend's bachelor party the night before. He wondered at Chet's real motives.
An argument soon had their attention. It was between the store manager and a weasly looking guy with a pencil mustache wearing a loud sports coat.
"Can't they move any faster than that?" he referred to the stock boys.
"We are trying to recover as much of the product as possible after that idiot knocked it down! Unless you are prepared to re-imburse us for our losses --"
"Hold on a minute there, buddy. If that cereal had been stacked up right this never would have happened. Which would you rather do lose a little cereal or stare into the jaws of a lawsuit. That costume is an hourly rental, you know. Let's get these guys to hustle a little!"
"As long as they work for me they will do this the way I told them to do it," the manager huffed. He hated promotions. They never translated into long term customers and they always caused a lot of extra work.
"Excuse me," the cap butted in not hiding his annoyance one bit. "Is there someone trapped under there?"
"There sure is, Officer," the weasly guy spoke up,"And this jerk says no one that works for him is going to move any faster than that!"
"We don't work for him. Clear it, boys," the cap commanded his men.
The manager was about to have a fit when Vince Howard showed up to point out to him the finer legal points of interfering with a rescue and keeping your operating licence. It took him almost no time at all to subdue the manager. He walked up to the cap while Roy, Johnny, Marco and Chet dug through the boxes in search of a victim. Chet had almost magically appeared back in their midst a few steps in front of Vince.
"Lucky you happened along," the cap said.
"Oh, I didn't just happen along. I'm answering a complaint about excessive noise. Fire Department's recruiting them young these days," he teased.
The cap explained Chet's ruse to get the kids out of the store.
"I left my rookie partner to handle it. Wanna bet when those kids get tired of the engine they bully him into letting them play in the squad car?" he laughed.
"Got somebody, Cap," Johnny said pushing the last of the boxes off the victim.
Roy slid in beside him. The victim was laying completely still. He was dressed in an outlandish yellow cartoonish looking lion suit. "He breathing?" Roy asked in aloud whisper as he set up the biophone to transmit.
Johnny put his hand on the guy's chest to check his respirations. He knew immediately that it was not a guy inside the costume. "Yes, she is." He shot Roy a look then started fumbling with the oversized head of the costume. "How the heck does this come off?" he asked the weasly guy.
"Careful! That's a rental. You know what kind of deposit I got tied up in this thing? Under the ruffles on the collar, that's where it connects."
Johnny lifted up several layers of flounce and finally found the place where the head was attached to the rest of the costume with Velcro. He pulled the Velcro strips apart and with some difficulty he was able to loosen and finally remove the head. When he got it off he was in for another shock. "Roy," he gasped.
Roy looked at the victim wondering what had spooked Johnny. He too was shocked. He swallowed hard. "Marco," he called nervously.
Marco was used to being called in as an interpreter. He trotted over to the spot where the two paramedics knelt beside the victim. "Yeah, Roy?" he asked but when he got a good look at the victim he too suddenly went white. "Rosita?" he gasped. "Is...is she dead?"
"No nothin' like that," Johnny assured him. "She's way overheated, though. I thought these suits were supposed to have an ac system in them," he accused the weasly guy.
"You know what those suckers cost to rent. We aren't making enough off this gig for that. We're in a grocery store for cryin' out loud. They keep ‘um like icebergs anyway."
Johnny bit his tongue and continued to assess his patient. She was still unconscious. She was sweating profusely. "We gotta get her out of this fur suit," he said reaching for his scissors.
"What in blazes do you think you are doing?" the weasly guy demanded.
"I'm cutting this thing off of her," Johnny said firmly.
"Does he have any idea what will happen if he does that?" the man demanded of Roy.
"Yeah," Roy said with disgust, "You'll lose your deposit."
Johnny slid his scissors into the neck of the costume and cut down toward Rosita's feet. It was difficult to cut through the thick fake fur but before long he was able to get enough of a hold that he could tear the rest of it off. He picked up a cardboard price sign and handed it to Marco. "Fan her," he instructed as he began to gather vitals and pass them on to Roy.
"She's still too hot," Johnny worried getting ready to cut Rosita's blouse off.
"Johnny!!! Are you crazy?!!!" Marco yelped.
"Marco, we have to get her temp down."
"There must be some other way," Marco looked around the store desperately. He knew Rosita would kill Johnny for ruining her clothes. His eyes fell on the fish display counter. "How about some ice?"
"Yeah, I guess that might help...." before Johnny could finish his sentence Marco got up and ran to the case. He spotted a small plastic bucket on the floor. He opened the case and filled it with ice. In his hurry to get back he climbed through the debris field of boxes of cereal that had opened and were no longer saleable. Some Looney Lion Loops had escaped and acted like ball bearings under Marco's feet. He lost his footing and fell headlong into Roy and Johnny. The bucket of shaved ice dumped onto Rosita.
"Jeez, Marco, I was going to tell you to make up some ice packs not ----"
But Johnny was interrupted by Rosita who was now conscious and fighting mad. This was the Rosita they all knew and feared. Her color was rapidly returning as she screamed furiously in Spanish.
Marco was trying to comfort her but he barely got a word in edgewise.
"Ah, Rampart, patient has regained consciousness," Roy said into the biophone. He couldn't understand much of her tirade but he did catch the words for "stink" and "fish".
"51, is your patient unduly combative?" Dr Early asked.
"Not for her --ah I mean er--the patient has a fairly volatile personality. Johnny is attempting to gather a new set of vitals. Please stand by."
"Standing by, 51." The confusion was evident in Dr Early's voice.
Finally Marco got her calmed down enough so that Johnny could continue his work.
Once Roy had passed her vitals on to Dr Early, he was asked to find out whether the patient was pregnant.
"I can't ask her that!!!" Marco vowed.
"The doctor has to know," Johnny said firmly.
Marco blessed himself then asked.
She erupted again with more fury. She slapped Marco's face but Johnny was able to dive out of her reach.
"That's a negative?" Roy asked.
"Thank god! I mean yes," Marco fumbled and turned beet red. He had never really wanted to live to be old anyway, he told himself.
Dr Early ordered an IV but Rosita refused. They all tried to explain to her about salt and fluid loss but she was determined that no one was sticking her with any needles and since she was conscious she did have the legal right to refuse. Marco suggested that they take her to Rampart and call her mother. Mama Rosa could handle her high strung daughter. While they were waiting for the ambulance Rosita lit into the weasly guy. Rosita had recently decided to become and actress he was her agent. By the time she was finished they had both decided on a career change.
Marco shot them daggers when they told him that since she was not technically under their care he would be the one to ride in with her.
"We're depending on you to make sure that Rampart is still standing when we get there," Johnny told him in mock seriousness.
"When Mama Rosa gets there we'll be lucky if the city is still standing," Marco said sadly. As he followed the ambulance attendants out of the store.
"He looks like he's about to walk the last mile," Chet commented shaking his head.
"So, Chet, where are all your little pals?" Johnny asked as he and Roy packed up their equipment.
"Guess their moms took them home." Chet shrugged,
"I thought they came to see Loopy Lion."
"Looney. Looney Lion," Roy corrected him.
"Besides, Gage, everyone knows when Looney Lion wakes up from his nap he's always back in The Cartoon Circus."
"I didn't know that, Chet," Johnny did his best not to giggle. "You know, I can sort of understand how Roy knows about this stuff since he has kids but, tell me, Chester B, where do you come by all this knowledge?"
"I do have nephews and nieces you know."
"Oh, I see. Well I was going to tell you I was very impressed by what you did here. Very impressed. Quite frankly, I think you've missed your calling."
"What are you getting at, Gage?" Chet asked suspiciously.
"The way you handled those kids. Did you see the rapport he had with them, Roy?"
"Can't say I did." Roy smelled a set up a mile away.
"Well I sure did. You know I hate to say this, Chet but you're a natural with kids. You should even have your own kids' show. I mean what does Loopy Lion have that Fireman Chet doesn't have?"
"You think so, Gage?"
"If I'm lyin' I'm dyin, Chet . I mean first a show then your own cereal. I can see it all now -- Fireman Chet's Fruity Chunks. Man, it'd be a smash hit. Maybe you should talk to Rosita's agent. You two should do lunch or something."
Chet wasn't really listening any more. He just walked away deep in thought. He had taken the bait hook, line and sinker.
Roy poked Johnny very hard nearly knocking him down. "Now what did you go and do that for?"
Johnny shoved him back but he had a very satisfied look on his face.
Unfortunately Christopher DeSoto saw what had happened. Christopher DeSoto was six years old and the thing that six year olds excel at above all else is tattling. He ran to Captain Stanley. "Uncle Cap! Daddy and Uncle Johnny are fighting!!!"
"They are!" the cap acted shocked. "I may just have to send them to bed without their supper."
"Ya promise?" asked a very weak voice behind him.
The cap spun around. Mike stood behind him. Joanne had his elbow. He was positively green.
"They're down that short hallway, Mike." She directed him to the restrooms. As a mother of young children she knew the location of every restroom in LA County. He weakly moved off in that direction. "I don't think Fireman Mike is used to so many children," Joanne told them.
"No, Fireman Mike just had too much of a good thing last night," Roy told her.
"Well I think I'll be driving the engine back to the barn," the cap said. "You two better go better go rescue Marco. Between him and Stoker it's hard to say which one will be a Code F first."
"Well, don't worry, Cap," Johnny grinned, "Ya still got Fireman Chet -- that is until his career takes off."
"What's he talking about?" Cap demanded of Roy.
"He's convinced Chet that he's going to be the next Looney Lion," Roy reported.
"You wanna be the first Code F, Gage?! Looney Lion. Now I have a headache."
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