Free Falling
John Gage walked through the engine bay, heading for the kitchen. He stopped for a moment as he listened to the wind rattle the large doors, making a face as he glanced out the window. Though it was 8:30 in the morning, the clouds racing across the sky were making for a very cold and gloomy day.
The A-shift crew, except for Captain Stanley, were sitting at the kitchen table. "Morning, morning, morning," Johnny called out as he headed over to the coffeepot. "It's getting pretty messy out there."
Mike Stoker looked up from the newspaper he was reading. "It says in here we could get wind gusts of up to 70 miles an hour today."
"That's gonna make for a very busy shift," Marco Lopez offered darkly. "Just wait and see."
Johnny snorted. "Oh, that's real positive thinking, Marco."
"I am being positive," Marco protested. "I'm real positive this weather's going to make for a busy shift!"
As the guys laughed, Johnny walked over to the table and dropped down beside Roy DeSoto.
Roy looked over at his partner. "Just be happy that today isn't the day you and Chili were suppose to take your first skydiving class."
"Yeah. That'd make for a real interesting dive!" Chet Kelly jumped in, eyes gleaming. "With these winds you'd probably end up in Canada…not that that'd be a bad thing."
Johnny ignored him. "Roy, are you sure you don't want to give it a try with us?"
"Oh, no, pal," Roy said firmly. "That's your gig. I fly planes, not jump out of them."
"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny." Chet grabbed another donut and began chomping on it. "If man was meant to fly, we woulda been born with wings!"
Johnny smirked. "Well, as usual, Chet, your theory's full of holes." He paused for effect, waiting for Chet to bite.
"How's that?"
"Because you're too chicken to skydive but I don't see any feathers on you!"
Oh, oh. The other guys shook their heads. It sounded like Chet and Johnny were about to go at it again. They were rescued by the station's tones.
"Station 51, Engine 14. Multi vehicle accident, intersection of Dupont and Adelaide. Dupont and Adelaide. Timeout, 8:35."
Roy fought the wheel as a gust of wind shuddered against the squad. The vehicle veered to the left momentarily before he brought it back under control. He glanced over at Johnny, who had reached forward to grab onto the dash.
"That wind is really picking up," Roy observed, the understatement of the year.
Johnny shot him a look. "You think?" he asked sarcastically.
The rescue vehicles slowed as they neared the accident site, trying to maneuver around the rubber neckers. Police Officer Vince Howard quickly waved them through as he continued redirecting traffic.
The collision had been between two cars and a truck. The road was littered with broken glass, sheered bumpers and metal pipes the truck had been carrying. At the moment, the truck's engine was smoking.
"Chet, Marco. Get a reel line on that!" Stanley ordered.
"I'll take the car over there," Johnny called to Roy as he came around the squad, pointing to the car that had come to rest up against a tree.
Roy nodded and hurried over to the other vehicle, while the engine crew helped the driver out of the truck.
Johnny struggled to do up his turnout coat as the wind pulled at it. He thought he could make out someone sitting in the driver's seat but it was difficult to see through the cracked windshield. Since the driver's door had been crushed in the crash, he hurried over to the passenger side. It too had sustained damage. Crouching down, he tugged at the door, straining to open it. Finally, it gave just enough for him to slip inside.
"Hey, how ya doing?" Johnny asked, sliding along the seat toward the driver, stopping to reach behind him to free his coat which had caught on a jagged piece of metal. He tugged at it and as the coat freed, the momentum pitched him forward so that he landed against the driver. "Sorry, man!" He pushed himself back, looked down at his hands. Blood. He looked up. It took a moment for the scene to sink in, for the implication to hit him.
One of the pipes from the truck had pierced the windshield and impaled the hapless driver, keeping him upright in his seat. His eyes were still open, though they wouldn't be seeing anything anymore. His face and chest were bloodied, his hands wrapped around the pipe. He had been alive long enough to know what was about to happen to him.
Johnny turned away for a moment, his stomach heaving. He had seen his share of dead bodies in his job, but violent, unexpected death still affect him, especially when it was someone so young.
Struggling for control, he turned back, forced himself to reach up and check the man's neck for a pulse. As he expected, nothing.
Without warning, the wind caught the door behind him, slamming it shut. The car rocked violently. The action pitched Johnny forward, up against the driver, face to face. The man's sightless eyes stared into his own.
Johnny frantically pushed away from him, his hands slipping in the blood drenched seats. He backpedaled, pushing against the door. It refused to budge. Pulling off his helmet he started to brush away the glass shards in the window, just as Marco appeared beside the door.
"Hey, John. Need a hand?"
"Get the door, Marco!" Johnny demanded. He was spooked, hated himself for it, but right now, wasn't going to stop to examine his feelings. He pushed at the door as Marco pulled and finally, it gave. Johnny scrambled out of the car, wiping his hands vigorously against his turnout coat.
Marco looked at all the blood, frowned. "Hey, are you hurt?"
"No," Johnny continued wiping his hands, noticed Marco about to go into the car. "Forget it, Lopez. He's gone."
"Oh. Is there anything…" Marco began, but stopped as he realized that Johnny was already hurrying away.
Roy, working on a woman victim, watched Johnny drop down next to the truck driver. "Is the other driver okay?"
Johnny didn't look at him as he shook his head, keeping his full concentration on his patient.
Roy noticed the blood on his turnout coat. "You okay, Johnny?"
"Yeah," Johnny said curtly. "Alright. His pulse is 100, reps are 22. Got the B.P. cuff?"
Roy handed it over, watched his partner for a moment curiously, before picking up the bio-phone's handset.
"Rampart. This is squad 51. We have three victims of a traffic accident and one DOA."
Roy stepped out of Treatment Room 2 and made his way over to the base station.
"Hi, Dix."
"Hi, Roy." Head Nurse Dixie McCall nodded her head over at Johnny, who was leaning against one of the counters, a preoccupied look on his face. "So, what's up with your partner? Is he in love again?"
Roy laughed, shrugging as he reached for the coffeepot.
"Johnny?"
Startled, Johnny blinked, looked at him.
"More coffee?" Roy held up the pot.
Johnny looked down at the still full cup in his hand. It had gone cold. He shook his head as he put it down. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air. I'll meet you outside."
They watched him walk away. Dixie turned back to Roy. "What's with him?"
"I'm not sure." Roy frowned as he put his cup down. "We had a traffic accident with a DOA on the scene that Johnny had to deal with. I guess it was pretty messy."
A look of understanding crossed Dixie's face. "Not a great way to start your day. Is he okay?"
Roy gave her a smile. "You know Johnny. He'll work it out."
Johnny was furiously scrubbing at his turnout coat, long after the bloodstains had been cleaned away. He couldn't seem to stop. He kept seeing the young man's face, the look in his eyes, the surprised expression on his face. He didn't notice Roy walk into the room.
"A rough one back there, huh?"
Johnny started at his voice, glanced up briefly before turning back to the coat.
"Johnny?" Roy watched him. When his partner didn't respond, Roy continued, "You know you're going to tell me eventually. So, why don't you save us both the suspense and talk about it now."
Johnny let out a sigh as he patted down his coat. "It's…that DOA this morning. He was about my age."
Roy nodded, waiting. He figured there was more.
Johnny rubbed a hand across his face. "Just…he knew, you know? He had this look on his face. He knew what was going to happen to him…" His voice trailed away. He took a deep breath. "I can't imagine that. Just sitting there, waiting for something like that to happen to you…"
"That's rough, all right." Roy paused for a moment. "But…"
Johnny made a face. "But we can't think about that if we want to be able to do our job, right?"
"Well…something like that."
"Johnny, you still working on that coat?" Chet queried as he waltzed into the room. "You're gonna give yourself dishpan hands, man."
Johnny gave him a withering glance but didn't offer a return putdown. Chet perked up. It wasn't often that Gage didn't fight back. A perfect opportunity that he wasn't about to let go by but just as he was about to zing his target again, the lights overhead flickered. Chet glanced up worriedly. "Oh, great. There they go again."
"What's the matter, Chet? Scared of the dark?" Roy teased, happy to divert Chet's attention from his partner.
"I'm not afraid!" Chet protested. "I'm just thinking that if the power goes out, it's gonna be sandwiches for lunch."
"Hmmm." Roy winked at Johnny. "Well, considering that you're the one that's suppose to cook today, the power going out might not be such a bad thing after all."
Johnny started to laugh. "When you're right, Roy…"
The tones sounded. "Squad 51, Engine 10. Man down, Ellison Industrial Park. Cross streets, Parker and Vine. Parker and Vine. Time out, 11:12."
The paramedics, fighting the biting wind and now, to add to the fun, a driving rain, grabbed their equipment and hurried across the parking lot toward an area surrounded by power grids. The crew from Engine 10 followed them.
A teenage girl waved them over frantically. Beside her, unconscious on the ground, was a middle-aged man.
"Hurry, please. My dad…he's not moving," the young girl urged them, clearly agitated.
"Okay, miss. Take it easy. We're going to take care of him." Roy laid his equipment on the ground and reached out to guide the young girl out of the way. "What happened?"
"My dad made this real cool kite for me and he wanted to test it out. Said this wind today was perfect."
Roy looked at her. Sixty plus mile per hour winds and he thought it was a perfect day to fly a kite by power lines?!
Johnny knelt beside the man, checking for a pulse. "He's not breathing!" He began doing chest compressions.
Roy quickly set up the oxygen mask and the defibrillator.
The girl hovered around them. "The kite got tangled in those wires up there and when he tried to get it down, he got a shock." She was crying now.
Johnny set up the charge on the defibrillator. Roy grabbed the paddles as he looked up at Jack Bluson from Engine 10. "Jake, can you move her back?"
The girl, still crying, reluctantly went with the fire fighter.
"400!" Johnny called out.
"Clear." Roy zapped the man, then turned to watch the monitor. "Okay, we've got a rhythm."
Johnny looked over at the girl as he set up the bio-phone. "Don't worry. He's gonna be okay." He clicked the receiver. "Rampart, this is squad 51."
The windshield wipers struggled to keep up with the onslaught of rain. Roy, negotiating the pooling puddles on the road, looked over at Johnny. He was still unusually quiet. After the 'man flying a kite in lightening' run, he had expected the usual long rant from his partner on the stupidity of people, how it was time to 'thin the herd' but aside from a few comments, he hadn't said much of anything. As much as he hated it when Johnny got into rant mode, his silence was even worse.
"Hey, pull over, Roy!" Johnny suddenly called out, looking out his side window. "That lady just got knocked down by the wind."
Roy wheeled to the curb and Johnny jumped out of the squad, hurrying over to the woman. He knelt next her, smiling. "Hey, are you okay? That was quite a tumble you took there."
The woman pushed her rain hat up off her face and blinked as she looked at him. If you are going to be rescued by someone, this was definitely someone you'd want rescue you, she thought as she smiled up at him. "I think the only thing I hurt was my pride."
Johnny grinned at her. "Well, they say that pride comes before a fall."
"Oh," she laughed, her eyes twinkling at him. "That's low."
"Sorry, I couldn't resist," Johnny said, still smiling. Now that the rain hat wasn't covering her face, he could see that she was a very beautiful woman. He offered her a hand, helping her to her feet.
They were still smiling at each other when Roy made his way to them. "Everything okay?" he asked.
The two turned to look at him, Johnny covertly signaling with his eyes. Roy sighed. He had seen too many of his partner's 'making a play for a woman move' not to see what was going on here. "I'll…ah…be waiting in the squad," he said, but they were already ignoring him.
Roy squished his way back to their vehicle.
"Johnny?" The woman held out her hand, smiling. "Hi, I'm Sidney."
An hour later, Johnny was still rhapsodizing about the young lady. "Sidney's great, Roy. She likes doing outdoor stuff, hiking and mountain climbing. And she even likes bowling…."
Roy shook his head as he finished the lunch dishes. "How you found all that stuff out in a five minute conversation…."
"Aaah, it's an art, Roy. An art." Johnny gave a self-satisfied smile. "I wonder where I should take her on our date Saturday?"
"Back to the insane asylum, Gage," Chet piped up from the couch, where he was lounging. "Cause that's where any chick who agrees to go out with you obviously belongs."
"You're just jealous, Chet." Johnny shot back as the tones went off.
"Station 51. Man down. Corner of Canyon Road and Belleview Crescent. Canyon Road and Belleview Crescent. Time out 14:17."
"KMG-365" Stanley acknowledged then handed a copy of the address to Roy and hurried over to the engine.
Stoker, putting the truck in gear, glanced over at Stanley. "Canyon and Belleview. Isn't that where they're building a new subdivision?"
"Uh huh." As they headed out into the street, Stanley glanced out the windshield at the wet, blustery day. "And where that area's located is gonna be a real mess today."
A man in a construction hat hurried over as the emergency vehicles pulled up. "Thank God, you guys got here so fast!" he exclaimed as Stanley stepped down off the engine. The man waved at one of the semi-built houses. "The wall on that house just totally collapsed."
Stanley quickly surveyed the general area. The houses were being built on an open area close to a cliff. As he expected the winds were much stronger up here. "Are you the foreman here?"
"Yeah. I'm Fred Anderson."
"Where's the rest of your crew?"
"I sent them home. It's too dangerous working in this weather. There's some wicked crosswinds up here today. I was just here making sure everything was secure…"
"Okay," Stanley interrupted. "Just tell me what happened."
"Oh, well, one of the homeowners showed up. Bob Higgins. I tried to get him to leave but he figured somehow that today was a good day to come and inspect the work we've been doing." Anderson shook his head. "He was inside when the whole wall just blew over! I've never seen anything like it."
"What do we have, Cap?" Johnny asked. He shivered as some of the cold rain worked its way down his neck. He flipped up the collar of his turnout coat, pulling it close.
"We've got a man trapped in there. You and Roy check it out, see if you can locate him. Chet, Marco get the porta power and some ropes up there. Hey, Hey!" Stanley held up a hand to stop Anderson from following the paramedics. "You better wait here. It doesn't look too safe in there."
"Sure. Sure." Anderson reluctantly stood back.
It took some time, but the crew was finally able to begin to slowly lift the section of wall. Roy and Johnny positioned themselves carefully and quickly reached under it, pulling the trapped man out. They carried him to the edge of the building and wanting to get him out of the rain, continued straight into the ambulance that had pulled up beside the building.
The man brushed dirt and plaster off his clothes as he tried to sit up.
"Easy, Mr. Higgins. We're just gonna check you over."
"I'm okay." Higgins sat up on the stretcher. "Most of the wall fell on some beams next to me. Whew! That was scary."
"I bet it was." Johnny worked the BP cuff. "Are you hurt anywhere?"
"No, not really." Higgins shook his head "Guess next time I should listen to the foreman, huh?"
Roy laughed as he checked the scratches on the man's arms and legs. "Hindsight is 20/20."
Johnny removed his stethoscope. "Pulse is 95. Reps are 24 and BP is 120/80."
Roy reached into the drug box for bandages. "Well, it looks like you're a very lucky man, Mr. Higgins. You seem to be fine."
"Not that fine," Higgins said, making a rueful face. He looked out the ambulance doors, over at his house. "That damage is going to put back the closing date on my house."
Roy gave him a sympathetic smile. "I'm just going to bandage these cuts for you, Mr. Higgins. They're superficial, though. I don't think you need to go to the hospital but you might want to have your doctor check you over."
"Okay."
Johnny stepped out of the ambulance and walked over to Stanley, who was supervising the retrieval of the equipment they had used in the rescue.
"We're done here, Cap. He doesn't need to go to the hospital."
"All right." Stanley pulled out his H.T. "L.A., this is Engine 51. Station 51 is available."
"10-4, 51."
"Hey!"
They looked up at Roy's shout. Bob Higgins had climbed out of the ambulance and was trying to get back up into the damaged house.
Johnny ran over to help Roy hold the man back. "Hold on there, Mr. Higgins."
The older man was clearly frantic about something. "Andy. Where's Andy?"
Johnny kept a firm grip on the man's arm. "Who's Andy?"
"My son!" Bob tried to pull away again. "He was here with me."
"What?" Roy turned to shout back at Stanley. "CAP! We've got a boy missing here." They steered Bob back onto safer ground.
"How old is Andy?" Roy asked him.
"He's…he's ten…he was waiting outside for me but I don't see him anywhere. What if he's under that…that piece of wall?" Bob was getting more and more upset.
"Take it easy, Mr. Higgins. We're gonna find him."
The crew hurried back into the house, searching quickly. No sign of the kid.
"Alright. Let's search the whole area," Stanley ordered. He motioned to Marco and Mike. "You two check the houses over there. Roy, have a look in the cars, make sure he's not hiding in one of them." He noticed a long trailer sitting on the far end of the lot, not from the edge of the cliff.
"Mr. Anderson, what's that?"
"That? It's our onsite construction office. I've stayed out of it today cause it's really unstable in this wind. You don't think the kid went in there, do you?"
"Who knows. Gage, Kelly. Check out the trailer and the trees back there."
The men, buffeted by the wind, hurried to their assigned tasks.
"Hey, careful!" Johnny called out, as the wind caught Chet from behind, sending him skimming across the muddy field, dangerously close to the edge of the cliff.
Chet regained his footing, crept gingerly to the edge to look down at the sheer drop. "Man, I sure hope the kid didn't come out this way. No way he survived if he went over."
"Don't even think it," Johnny said, making his way to the trailer. He struggled to open the door against the pressure the wind was exerting on it. He stepped into the trailer. It was crowded with drafting tables, chairs, bookcases, assorted construction paraphernalia. "Andy? You in here?"
The trailer shook, creaking loudly. Johnny moved forward carefully. "Andy?"
"Anything, Johnny?" Chet appeared in the doorway, looking around worriedly as the trailer shook violently.
"No, but I'm gonna check the closet back here." He worked his way deeper into the room. "Andy?"
The trailer creaked again, the sound like a shot as yet another gust slammed against it. Chet struggled to hold onto the door. "Johnny, this thing's liable to go over. I don't want to be doing any Wizard of Oz impression here."
Nothing in the closet. Johnny grinned back at the stocky fire fighter. "Don't worry, Toto. I'll take care of ya."
"Funny!" Hearing a shout from outside, Chet stepped away from the door, popping his head back in a second later. "Roy found him. Let's go."
Johnny, about to move, froze as the trailer seemed to lurch, lift, then settle back to the ground, rocking violently. He quickly began making his way back to the door jumping out of the way as a chair shimmied past him.
"Come on, Gage!" Chet urged, straining to keep the door open.
And then all hell broke loose.
The trailer shuddered, twisting. Johnny's feet were knocked out from under him. His head hit the floor, stunning him for a moment. He thought he heard Chet shout something but the sound was drowned out by a deafening roar that filled the room…tortured metal grinding, ripping.
Johnny continued trying to crawl to the door, ducking his head to avoid all the stuff that was now careening past him. Everything was happening so fast. He was being bounced around the trailer, from one wall to the other. He slammed against the floor, the breath knocked out of him, and then he was being tossed around again.
A cupboard door popped open in front of him. Desperately, he grabbed onto it, trying to brace himself, to stop his momentum. Every object in the room that wasn't anchored down was flying through the air past him. He hung on to the door for dear life, keeping his head down, trying to protect himself as much as he could.
A jolting bounce, once, twice, almost dislodged his hold. A sharp CRACK, the sound of metal grinding, ripping and suddenly, he was being lashed by rain and wind. He looked up, stared in disbelief. The trailer was standing on end. Most of the roof was gone as well as the bottom of the trailer. All that was left was a gaping hole and beyond that, a long drop down to the bottom of the cliff. A long, long drop.
Johnny feet scrabbled frantically, trying to get traction, a hold. Behind him, a chair dislodged, hitting him as it flew past, through the hole, sailing into oblivion.
He didn't have time to think. The rain was making the cupboard door slick. He felt his hands slipping, slipping, slipping. And before he knew what was happening, he lost his grip and was sliding down the floor, towards the gaping hole…
Roy leaned into the car, helping the sleepy little boy out.
"Andy!" Bob Higgins raced over, taking his son from Roy's arms.
"He's okay," Roy quickly reassured the man.
"I'm sorry, Daddy. I just wanted to get out of the rain. I fell asleep."
"That's okay, Andy. That's okay." Bob hugged him tightly. He removed his coat and wrapped his son in it.
They were all startled by a loud screeching sound. Roy looked over at the trailer, saw Chet flying backwards from the doorway, saw the trailer lift, ever so slowly, the metal spikes holding it snapping. Then as though being tossed aside by a savage fist, the trailer went tumbling up and over the side of the cliff.
The guys ran to Chet. By the time they reached him, he was sitting up.
"Chet?" Roy put a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm okay. I'm okay." Chet shook his hand off. "Johnny…."
"Huh?" Roy frowned at him, trying to look him over.
Stanley looked from Chet to where the trailer had been mere moments ago. "Johnny was still in there?"
"Yeah." Chet stood up, swayed for a moment. He tried to move to the edge of the cliff, but the wind and rain pushed him back. He dropped down on all fours, crawling to the ledge. The others joined him. They gaped at the sight.
Halfway down the hillside, the trailer had ended up perched precariously in a tree. They could see that most of the trailer was missing, torn in half, the ripped piece lying at the bottom of the cliff. There was no way of telling where Johnny was.
The men moved back from the edge before they stood up.
"Marco. Get some lifebelts and ropes," Stanley ordered. "Mike, get the engine as close as you can. We'll need to tie off on the bumper." He pulled out the H.T. to notify headquarters that they were no longer available.
Roy grabbed a belt and began putting it on. Stanley shook his head at Chet, who was reaching for the other life belt. "Not this time, pal. You've just gotten the breath knocked out of you." He motioned for Marco.
Marco quickly did up the life belt before joining Roy at the edge of the cliff. Both swayed as they tried to remain upright. Roy looked over at him, grimly gave the thumbs up sign. He went over the side first and was immediately in trouble, the wind catching him and tossing him against the mountain face. He struggled for a handhold but was spinning too much.
"Bring him up!" Stanley shouted.
Once back on the ground, Roy lay gasping for breath. He rubbed his shoulders, flexing them. He had slammed into the hillside pretty hard.
Stanley ordered his men back from the edge. "We're gonna have to wait till this stuff dies down. There's no way we can get to the tree or the bottom of the cliff right now."
"What?" Chet protested. "Let me try."
"I know how you feel, Chet." Stanley wasn't happy with the decision he had had to make either. "It's too dangerous right now. We're just gonna have to wait."
"He's right," Roy added, though it was obvious that he didn't like the call either. "There's no way we can get him in this. If he's still in the trailer, that's the safest place for him right now."
"If…." Marco echoed, then fell silent.
The men couldn't look at each other as they hurried over to their respective vehicles.
"L.A., this is Engine 51. We have a fire fighter trapped. Respond another engine to this location and we'll need to have the ambulance back."
"10-4, 51."
Ten minutes later, Engine 14 roared up the hill and pulled up beside 51's. Stanley met up with Captain Carroll, quickly giving him a run down.
Paul "Chili" Chilibeck climbed down out of the engine's rear seat and headed over to the squad. He quickly got into the passenger seat, shutting the door against the slashing wind.
"Hey, Roy, where's Johnny?"
Roy looked at him, didn't say anything. Chili stared at him, then turned to look at Stanley and Carroll, who were deep in conversation. "Roy?"
"He.. a…he was looking for a kid in a trailer over there," Roy indicated the area through the windshield. "And it a…went over the cliff with him in it. The trailer's caught in a tree about half way down."
"WHAT?" Chili sat up, started to open the door. Roy reached out a hand to stop him. "Why aren't we doing anything? Why isn't anyone getting him?"
"It's too dangerous, Chili. We tried. We just have to wait for the wind to die down."
"Wait!" Chili shook his head. "Nah. Maybe no one else wants to try it but I'm going to go get him." He jumped out of the cab. Roy quickly slid out behind him.
"Chili!" Roy held onto his arm, forcibly holding the younger man back.
Chili turned on him. "How can you just sit there? He's your partner."
"And my friend," Roy reminded him quietly. "And you know if there was any way to get him right now, I would."
Chili shook off the paramedic's hand, started forward, stopped in frustration. He knew that what Roy had said was true. Johnny was as much a friend of Roy's as Chili and if there were anything that could be done, Roy would be doing it. He turned back to him. "So, how long do we have to wait?"
"I don't know." Roy opened the door of the squad. "Look, you can go down with me when it's time. Until then, there's no sense catching a cold standing out here."
Reluctantly, Chili climbed back into the cab.
The two sat without speaking for a long time.
Chili finally broke the silence. "Johnny….he…." Chili stopped. He stared intently up at the sky, almost as though he was trying to will it to clear. "He's a damn cat, you know?"
"Yeah." Roy smiled for a moment. "If anyone can come out of this okay, it's Johnny."
Chili turned to him, looking lost. "We're suppose to go skydiving on Friday."
"I know." Roy tapped the steering wheel, displaced nervous energy. "I still think you guys are crazy. Isn't your job dangerous enough?"
Chili smiled reluctantly. "That's what life is, Roy. Taking a chance." He grinned suddenly. "Course Johnny says you're crazier than the two of us put together."
"Come again?"
"Well, neither of us are married. Now that takes courage!"
Roy laughed out loud, Chili joining him. They sobered moments later, fell silent, staring out the window.
Three hours later, the wind was finally showing signs of abating. Stanley quickly had the crews in place. Chili and Roy made their way into position, tested the ropes by leaning back on them. Finally, they signaled they were ready, and climbed over the side of the cliff.
It was slow going. They approached the tree cautiously, worried about how it would handle their extra weight. The branches the trailer was resting on were showing signs of strain.
Roy motioned for Chili to let him go first. He stepped carefully onto a branch, worked his way over to the door. "JOHNNY?"
No answer. "JOHNNY?" he called again. Chili climbed down beside him.
Johnny didn't know how long he had been hanging there, waiting. Mere feet from the hole, Johnny had managed to grab onto the leg of a table that was bolted down. He hung there, staring down at what was certain death.
His arms were growing tired, he was so cold, soaking wet now, the wind making him feel even colder. He knew hypothermia was setting in. He was shaking so hard that he almost let go a couple of times, scaring himself. Without warning the face of the young man from the traffic accident that morning swam before him. His staring eyes, the look in them, the blood.
He lost all track of time. All he was aware of was the fact that the only thing between him and death were his hands curled around a spindly piece of wood. He couldn't take his eyes off the long drop to the bottom of the cliff.
A fall into eternity.
The trailer shook yet again. He felt himself shifting, heard the leg splinter, ever so slightly. It wouldn't be long before it gave. He tried to stop the image that filled his head…sliding the short distance to the edge of the trailer….free falling…the boulders at the bottom…
"JOHNNY?"
Johnny lifted his head for a moment. That sounded like Roy. Wishful thinking. It was just the wind in the trees playing tricks on him. He was shaking so hard now that the movement was making the table leg crack steadily.
"Johnny?"
There it was again. Roy's voice. He heard it clearly now, was sure it was real but for the life of him, he couldn't answer. His whole concentration was centered on keeping his tenuous hold.
Roy moved into the doorway, freezing for a moment as the trailer creaked ominously. He looked into what was left of it, giving a quick sweep of the room. He heart sank as he realized that he couldn't see Johnny. It had been foolish to think otherwise, but he had been hoping against hope that they would find him, that he would be okay.
Chili stepped up beside him. "Roy?" he asked, seeing the look on the older man's face. When Roy didn't answer, he moved around him, peering into the trailer.
"HEY, JOHNNY?"
No answer. The two men grabbed onto the side of the trailer as a strong gust hit it, making it sway. As soon as it stopped, Chili leaned in the doorway again, searching frantically. Roy kept a grip on the fire fighter's lifeline.
"Hey, I see him!" Chili shouted, pointing to the far end of the decimated room. "Hey, Johnny!!!"
"Where?" Roy moved in for a look. The motion caused the trailer to tip, teeter. He quickly stepped back, pulling Chili with him.
"Hey!" Chili protested.
"We're going to make it go over, Chili." Roy pointed out as calmly as he could though, like the fire fighter, he wanted to get in there and get Johnny too. He forced himself to access the situation. "Was he moving?"
Chili rubbed his face in frustration. "I couldn't tell. His back was to me."
Roy moved cautiously to the doorway again, looked down at Johnny. The dark haired paramedic was positioned precariously close to the yawning gap at the back of the trailer. "Hey, Johnny. It's Roy. Can you hear me?"
There was a long moment of silence. "Yeah..."
Both Roy and Chili heaved huge sighs of relief. "Hey, partner. What do you say we get you out of here?"
"Um….okay…"
Roy frowned at the sound of Johnny's voice. It sounded weak. And now that his eyes had adjusted to the dimness in the trailer, he could see that Johnny was shaking, his whole body convulsing. He was definitely hypothermic. Roy stepped into the trailer. The sudden change in weight caused it to sway.
"Stay back…" Johnny croaked.
"Okay, Johnny." Roy quickly stepped backwards. Chili was busy tying a rope to the spare lifebelt they had brought with them. "We're not going to be able to come down and get you so we're going to send you a life belt, okay? We'll haul you out."
"I…don't…I can't….let go."
Roy took the belt from Chili, frowned. "We don't have a lot of options here, partner."
Chili looked up at the tree. The wind seemed to be picking up again, the branches swaying, creaking. "I don't know how long this tree's gonna hold."
Roy nodded as he began feeding the belt down the floor. "I'm sending you the belt, Johnny. You've gotta try, okay?"
The belt hit Johnny's back. He didn't move to take it.
"Johnny, grabbed the belt!" Chili shouted at him. No reaction. He was about to go down to him when Roy put a hand on his arm to stop him. Chili reluctantly stayed put.
Suddenly, the table leg splintered. They watched in helpless horror as Johnny started to fall. He twisted frantically, reaching behind him. He finally managed to grab the belt, holding on weakly with both hands, struggling to keep himself from sliding.
"Come on, Johnny!" Chili coaxed.
"I…can't…." It was obvious that Johnny didn't have the strength to pull himself up.
"Okay. We're going to bring you up."
In tandem, Chili and Roy began pulling on the rope, slowly, afraid that Johnny's hands might slip and….they didn't want to think about that possibility.
"Easy does it, Johnny. Almost there." Chili encouraged, keeping up a steady stream of patter.
Finally, an eternity later, Johnny was close enough that Chili and Roy were able to reach in and grab him. They pulled him up and out of the trailer, quickly securing the lifebelt around his waist. He was shaking so hard that the simple task was difficult.
Roy pulled out the H.T. "Okay, Cap. We've got him. Pull us up."
Supporting Johnny between them, they worked their way out of the tree and started up the hillside. They just cleared the tree when with a loud rumble, snap, the trailer broke loose and careened into the abyss, the tree right behind it.
Roy and Chili looked back, watching it fall. Not Johnny. He kept his eyes glued to the top of the cliff.
Many hands helped them up onto solid ground. "Hey, pal, welcome back," Stanley said.
Johnny didn't answer him. He was shaking so violently that he couldn't stand without the help of Chet and Stanley.
"Okay, guys, let's get him out of this rain," Roy ordered as he quickly shed his lifebelt, He led the way to the ambulance, Chili right behind him.
Once inside the ambulance, they quickly got Johnny out of his turnout coat and wrapped in blankets.
"10-4, Rampart. I.V. D5W." Roy looked over to where Chili was trying to hold Johnny's arm still for the I.V. "Uh, Doc. He's shaking pretty bad. I don't know if I'll be able to get an IV in him."
"Do your best, 51."
It took a few frustrating attempts, but Roy finally managed to get an I.V. inserted. He splinted Johnny's arm to stop his partner from pulling it out with his movements. He looked out at Stanley who was hovering outside the ambulance doors. "Okay, Cap. We're ready to roll."
"Make sure you and Chili get checked out too. You got banged around pretty good." Stanley stepped back, pulling the doors. "Let me know how he's doing." With a last worried look at Johnny, he closed the doors.
"Roy? Is he…"
Roy, busy taking vitals again, glanced up at Chili, then over at Johnny whose eyes were now closed. "He's going to be okay."
"Feeling a little warmer now, Johnny?" Doctor Kel Brackett asked as he listened to his patient's lungs again.
Johnny nodded, grimaced in discomfort. Brackett gave him an understanding look.
"A bit sore?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm not surprised. All that shivering gave your muscles a good workout."
"To say nothing of getting tossed around like a rag doll," Roy added with a smile. They had been at the hospital for a couple of hours now and finally, he felt like he could relax. Johnny was definitely looking better.
Brackett glanced over at Roy and Chili. "He's going to be sore for a couple of days but aside from some bumps and bruises, it looks like he's going to be okay."
Chili shook his head, relieved. "Damn, Johnny. It's like I keep saying. You've got more lives than a damn cat."
"Ha, ha." Johnny made a face at him before rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Doc, I just want to go home and get some sleep."
"Well, I'm afraid you're going to have to do your sleeping here." Brackett smiled at him. "I want to keep you overnight for observation."
"Oh," Johnny sighed, but didn't offer any argument.
Chili leaned back against the wall, arms across his chest. "Guess I better change our skydiving lesson to next week, huh, Johnny?"
"Skydiving?" Brackett shook his head. "Well, he'll probably be okay physically by then, but anybody who would jump out of a plane probably isn't well to begin with."
"That's what I keep telling them," Roy grinned.
Dixie stepped quietly into the room, not wanting to wake Johnny. She was about to check his pulse when he suddenly started shaking his head back and forth, moaning. He came awake, breathing hard.
"Hey, Johnny," Dixie reached out and patted his arm.
He blinked up at her, disoriented for a moment. "Um…Dix?"
Dixie watched him closely as he shifted uncomfortably in the bed. "Bad dream?"
"I…" Johnny rubbed at his face. "I don't remember. What time is it?"
"It's 3 a.m." Dixie made a notation in his chart. "You should get some more sleep. The only ones that should be awake now are those of us who are paid to be."
Johnny gave a small laugh as he settled back against his pillows. He closed his eyes.
Dixie looked down at him for a moment before making her way out of the room. Sensing she was gone, Johnny opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. He brought his arm up over his head. He was exhausted but he had a feeling that sleep was going to elude him for the rest of the night.
"Hey, if it isn't Dorothy of Oz!" Chet chortled as Johnny walked into the station's kitchen. It was his first shift back.
"Well, I see one of the munchkins escaped!" Johnny shot back as he headed over to the coffeepot.
Mike got up from the table. "Guess things are back to normal now. Welcome back, John."
Roy watched his partner closely. He seemed okay, though he looked a little tired. "So, how's it going? I tried calling you but your phone was always busy."
Johnny shrugged as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "I took the receiver off the hook. I was getting too many phone calls, you know. Just wanted to get some sleep."
"I thought maybe you were burning up the wires talking with Sidney."
"Nah." Johnny turned away from him, putting the coffeepot back. "It just didn't work out with her."
"Course not," Chet jumped in. "Not after she got to spend time with you."
Johnny rolled his eyes at him but didn't say anything. Just as he was about to take a drink of his coffee the tones went off. Sighing, he put the cup down. "Well, nice to see that some things never change."
"Squad 51, Engine 10, Car down an embankment…."
The accident was far enough out of the city that a helicopter had been called in to transport the victims.
Roy helped some of the men from Engine 10 load the two stretchers into the helicopter, stepped back as Johnny came up with the bio-phone and drug box.
"I'll meet you back at Rampart, Johnny."
Johnny nodded, went to step in to the helicopter, stopped. He looked up at the whirling blades, back down at the interior of the helicopter.
"Johnny. Get going."
Johnny shoved the equipment into the machine. "You take this one, Roy."
"What?" Roy stared at him.
Johnny stepped away from the doorway. "I did the last two copter trips. It's your turn."
Roy was about to argue, but then realized that they were wasting time. He quickly climbed in. Johnny slid the door shut and ducking down, moved away.
The helicopter rose in the air, hovered for a moment, before moving away.
Johnny stood watching as it soared high above him.
Roy shut off the squad's engine, then turned to his partner.
"So, what was that all about?"
"Huh?" Johnny, his hand on the door, looked back at Roy.
"The helicopter. You were all set to go and…"
"No big deal, Roy." Johnny laughed as he opened his door and stepped out. He flashed him a smile. "It was your turn. Besides, it's the only way I get to drive the squad."
Roy shook his head. Only Johnny would think up something like that.
Roy whistled as he walked into the locker room.
"Morning, Johnny."
Johnny looked over at him, his face clearly showing signs of tiredness. "You're cheery this morning."
"Yup. Took the family camping. It was great." He opened his locker door. "So, looks like you and Chili survived your skydiving lesson."
Johnny turned away from him as he put his shoes into his locker. "We didn't get to do it. Chili couldn't make it."
"Oh, that's too bad." Roy began unbuttoning his shirt. "Well, the sky'll be there tomorrow."
"Yeah," Johnny nodded absently. "Yeah." Still working at tucking his shirt in, he headed out into the engine bay.
Frowning, Roy reached over and shut Johnny's locker door.
The flames were shooting out of the building's windows, the fire well engaged. Two crews were busy hosing it down.
"What about the missing man?" Johnny asked. "The security guard said he's sure there's still a guy inside one of the offices."
"Forget it," Stanley shook his head at the two paramedics. "It's too dangerous to go in there now."
Stanley began to walk away. Johnny looked from him to the building, then without warning, dashed through the doorway, dodging flames.
"JOHNNY!"
"What the hell…." Stanley turned back at Roy's shout.
"Johnny just went in, Cap."
"Damn. Chet, Marco, get your lines on that doorway." The two fire fighters hurried over, hosing down the entrance.
Roy started toward the building but was driven back by a muffled explosion deep within the structure that sent flames shooting through the roof. Reluctantly, he pulled back, along with the other guys. They waited, watching. The minutes ticked by. Still no Johnny.
"There! There he is!" Marco aimed the hose at the figure staggering through the doorway, carrying a man in a fire fighter's hold across his shoulders.
Roy and Stanley hurried over to help Johnny. They laid the victim on the ground and Roy quickly began checking him over.
Johnny, coughing, removed his air mask. "Looks like a piece of the ceiling hit him. He was unconscious when I found him."
Roy glanced up at him briefly as he worked the BP cuff on the man. "You okay?"
"Yeah." Johnny shrugged off his air tank. "Just inhaled some of that smoke. It's damn thick in there."
"Not as thick as you!" Stanley glared at the young man. "I told you not to go in there."
Johnny gave him an innocent smile. "Guess I misunderstood." He dropped down next to the victim, helping Roy with the vitals.
Stanley glanced watched him for a moment, then still shaking his head, walked away, barking orders into the H.T.
"Ten four, Rampart. D5W and oxygen."
Roy looked at Johnny as he prepared the IV. Johnny grinned, shrugging.
Roy didn't smile back.
Roy stepped out of Rampart's emergency doors. Spying Johnny waiting next to the squad, he hesitated for a moment before walking over to him. He started loading the equipment into the squad's compartment.
"The guy going to be okay?"
"They think so."
"That's great." Smiling, Johnny pulled opened the passenger door.
"Is it?"
"What?" Johnny stopped, turned to look at his partner. "Well, of course it's great. We saved a man's life tonight."
"YOU saved a man's life."
Johnny frowned, scratching his forehead. "Huh? We're a team, Roy."
"Are we? You haven't been acting like it lately." With deliberate movements, Roy shut the compartment door, locking it. "It was you who ran into the building after we'd been specifically ordered not to. You…"
"Wait a minute," Johnny broke in. "I don't get what the problem is here. That guy would be dead if I hadn't gone in after him. I was just doing my job."
"No, Johnny." Roy turned to look at his partner, his eyes narrowed angrily. "Your job is to rescue people, not to put yourself or your fellow fire fighters in danger. What the hell were you trying to prove out there?"
"I wasn't trying to prove anything!" Johnny flared. "And if you think working with me is so dangerous then maybe you should find someone else to work with."
Before Roy could say anything, Johnny got into the squad, slamming the door behind him. Roy stood there, seething quietly. He just couldn't get a handle on what had gotten into his partner lately. Something definitely wasn't adding up here.
Back at the station, Stanley noticed the tension between Roy and Johnny. He finally called Roy into his office.
"So, what's going on with you and Gage?"
Roy shrugged. "I don't know, Cap, but something's up. I tried talking to him about that stunt of his at the fire today…."
"And?"
"He doesn't see anything wrong with what he did. The guy's going to live so what's our problem."
"Well," Stanley got up from his desk, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Hard to argue with him there."
"Hey, Roy." Chili looked at him in surprise. He pulled open his apartment door, stepping back to let him in. "What's the occasion?"
Roy, following Chili into the kitchen, stopped at the sight of a young lady sitting at the table. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company."
The brunette smiled as she stood up. "That's okay. I was just going." She leaned over and kissed Chili. "Walk me out?"
Roy paced restlessly around the kitchen, trying not to listen to the sounds of the couple's good-byes. It had been a long, frustrating week with Johnny not talking, except when needed and acting out of character on the job. Roy was starting to feel like he couldn't depend on his partner and that wasn't a feeling he enjoyed. He hoped that Chili would be able to help shed some light on whatever was eating Johnny.
"Want a beer?" Chili asked as he appeared in the doorway.
"Sure." Roy took the bottle from him and sat down at the table. "She seems nice."
Chili grinned as he leaned back in his chair, balancing on the back legs. "Yeah. She's real nice." He eyed the older man. "That's the trouble. They're all real nice." He took a drink. "But I'm sure dealing with your partner's love life is more than enough for you, you don't need to hear about mine."
Roy laughed. "You've got that right."
"So, what's up?"
"I don't know." Chili quirked an eyebrow at him. Roy looked down at the beer bottle, tracing circles on the table. "Johnny, I guess."
"Johnny?" Chili frowned. "Something wrong with him?"
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Something's bothering him and it's got me worried."
"Well, he doesn't call you a worry wart for nothing," Chili laughed but sobered when he saw that Roy wasn't in a joking mood. "Okay. This thing, is he bringing it on the job?"
"Yeah," Roy answered reluctantly.
Chili dropped his chair forward. "That doesn't sound like him."
"I know. But I think it's really starting to affect his work."
"That's pretty serious stuff." Chili looked thoughtful. "You know, now that you mention it, he has been kind of different lately."
"Different how?" Roy leaned forward.
"Well, he keeps cancelling things…we were suppose to double date with that girl he met, Sidney. And then there's the sky diving."
"I thought you cancelled that."
Chili shook his head. "Nah. It's him, he keeps backing out on it. I don't get it though. He was real gung ho about it a couple of weeks ago."
"A couple of weeks ago, huh? That's around the time of that trailer thing."
"I guess. He keeps saying everything's okay."
"Yeah, well," Roy sighed, as he picked up his beer. "That's Johnny. He talks a lot but sometimes he doesn't say anything."
The two men looked at each other.
Stanley looked up from his clipboard as Johnny scrambled to take his place in line. He had missed roll call.
"Nice of you to join us, Gage," he said sarcastically.
Johnny gave an apologetic shrug as he adjusted his shirt collar. "Sorry, Cap. I slept through the alarm."
"Uh huh," Stanley eyed the clipboard again. "I was just handing out the day's duty roster. And since you weren't here, I've volunteered you for bathroom duty. Until further notice."
Johnny rolled his eyes.
Stanley quirked an eyebrow at him. "You got a problem with that, pal?"
"No, sir," Johnny said quickly.
Beside him, Chet chortled, enjoying the fact that he wasn't the one in trouble for once. He quickly hid his grin as Stanley cast him a suspicious glance. He wasn't about to let Gage off the hook by getting in the Cap's bad book as well. He wanted Cap to keep his attention on Gage, right where, as far as he was concerned, it belonged.
"Station 51, Truck 14. Man trapped. Bailey's Drive In Theatre. Highway 9, Cross Street Maitland. Highway 9, Cross Street Maitland. Time out 13:09."
Station 51, along with the snorkel truck from Station 14, arrived at the drive-in theatre, pulling up in front of one of the giant screens. It was the size of a ten-story building. They could see a man stranded at the very the top.
Roy and Johnny hurried over to join the Captain, who was talking to the manager.
"Okay." Stanley pointed up at the stranded man. "The guy, his name's Simpson, was doing some maintenance work and the metal staircase he used to get up there gave way."
"He's not moving too much," observed Roy, shielding his eyes against the sun as he looked up at the man.
"The manager says Simpson was on the stairs when it broke, throwing him off." Stanley motioned to the snorkel truck. "Our ladders won't reach up there so you're going to need to get him in that."
"Okay, Cap." Roy picked up the equipment and started over to the truck's basket. He turned back to look at Johnny. "Come on. What are you waiting for?"
Johnny, who had been looking up at the giant screen, started at Roy's rebuke. "Umm…coming."
The paramedics climbed into the basket. Roy nodded at Phil Bianci, the fire fighter who was working the controls. "All right. Take us up."
They began to climb. It wasn't long before they were high above the ground. Roy, intent on watching the victim, was startled when Bianci suddenly stopped the basket. He glanced over at him curiously.
Bianci was looking at Johnny. "Hey, you all right?"
Roy turned to his partner. Johnny, breathing rapidly, was gripping the edge of the basket with both hands, swaying.
"Johnny?" Roy reached over, helping his partner to the floor of the basket. He realized that Johnny was sweating profusely. "What's wrong?"
"Dizzy….sick." Johnny closed his eyes, wiping a hand across his forehead. He looked like he was about to throw up.
"Okay." Roy pressed Johnny's head down between his knees. "Take deep breaths. Slow, deep breaths."
"Do you want me to take us back down?" Bianci asked, worriedly.
"Get the man first." Johnny managed to say, still hyperventilating. He started to get up but Roy pushed him back.
"Keep your head down." Roy ordered. He looked over at Simpson, who was lying awfully close to the edge of the screen. He shook his head. "No. Johnny's right. We're almost there. Let's get the man down first."
Stanley's voice came over the H.T. "What's the hold up, HT 51?"
Roy stood up as Bianci started the basket moving again. "Cap, Johnny's sick."
"What? Are you coming back down?"
"No, we're going to get the victim first."
"Okay, ten-four, 51." Stanley acknowledged, concern in his voice.
As the basket closed in on Simpson, he called out, "Hey, guys. Glad to see ya."
Roy gave the guy a quick once over as the basket glided in beside him. "Are you hurt?"
"My arm's busted, I think." The man indicated his left arm, which he was cradling with his right. He nodded at the long drop to the ground. "Could a been a hell of a lot worse, so I ain't complaining."
"Okay." Roy steadied the basket against the screen's ledge. "Why don't you slide over this way and we'll get you down from here."
Once they were on the ground, many hands were there to help the guys out of the basket. Chet began to lead Johnny over to the ambulance, where Roy had already taken Simpson. Johnny, still shaky on his feet, stopped, pulled away, shaking his head.
"I'm fine. I just…got dizzy, that's all."
"Gage, you're going to Rampart." Stanley said, his voice brooking no argument.
Johnny tried anyway. "Cap, I'm okay. I don't…"
"Look, pal. If you were sick enough that you couldn't finish a rescue, then you're sick enough to go to the hospital. Got it?"
The fight seemed to go out of Johnny. Dispiritedly, he nodded, allowing Chet to help him into the ambulance. He sat down on the seat across from the stretcher, laid his head back, closing his eyes, taking deep, shaky breaths. Roy, busy splinting Simpson's broken arm, glanced up at his partner, frowning. He had thought that maybe Johnny had a bad case of the flu or maybe a touch of food poisoning, but now he wasn't so sure. Another thought was starting to ferment at the back of his mind.
Brackett looked over some of Johnny's test results. All negative. He walked over to the young man.
"Well, Johnny. So far everything's checking out. I can't see anything here that would account for what happened to you."
Johnny sat up on the gurney. "I feel fine now, doc. Just a little tired, that's all."
"If it was the flu or food poisoning, he'd still have it now, wouldn't he, doc?"
Brackett turned to Roy. "Well, yes. From what you say the severity of his symptoms were, I definitely would have expected to still see some signs."
"Can I go now, Doc?" Johnny started to reach for his shirt.
"Not quite yet, Johnny." Brackett headed for the door. "I'm still waiting on a couple more test. Shouldn't be long now. I'll be back in a few minutes."
Sighing, Johnny let the shirt drop from his fingers. He fidgeted as he realized that Roy was staring at him. "What?"
Roy chose his words carefully. "Johnny, what happened up there…that's not the first time you've had that reaction."
"Huh?" Johnny gave a snort of laughter, waving a dismissing hand at Roy. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Roy ran a hand through his hair, took a deep breath. "I don't know exactly either, but lately, you seem to be having a hard time with anything around heights."
"What?"
Roy held up a hand, starting ticking off points. "You didn't want to ride the helicopter the other day and you haven't gone skydiving with Chili yet. He said it was you that cancelled the jump."
Johnny shifted uneasily on the gurney. "Roy…."
"And that stupid stunt at the fire…"
"I was just doing my job…." Johnny started to protest but couldn't meet Roy's eyes.
"No, Johnny. You were wrong and you know it. It was like you were trying to prove how brave you were."
Johnny tried to laugh, but it was only half-hearted attempt. "Roy, that's crazy."
"Is it? You've been acting strange like that for awhile now." Roy walked over to him, stopped a few feet away. "We were lucky today. We were able to get that guy down, without you. But can you tell me honestly that the next time we have to go on a call like that that it won't happen again?" He paused for a moment, hating what he was going to say next. "That you won't endanger a victim's life or a colleague's? Even mine?"
At his last words Johnny finally looked up at him, a stricken look in his eyes.
"How's he doing? Really?"
Brackett hesitated before answering, stirring sugar into his coffee. Sighing, he looked up at Roy. "It's going to take time. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a hard thing to get a handle on. Every person's different. For Johnny, his reaction to what he went through manifested itself into a fear of heights. Whenever he'd find himself in that kind of situation he'd have flashbacks."
Roy shook his head, still unable to believe it. "Johnny's one of the bravest people I know."
Brackett took a drink of his coffee. "That makes two of us. That's why no one thought about what he must have gone through when he was in that trailer, his life literally hanging on by his fingertips."
"We should have known something was wrong, talked to him."
"Don't go beating yourself up over this, Roy. We all missed it. Even Johnny didn't know what was happening to him. How could he talk about something that he didn't understand himself. That's why he pushed everyone away."
Roy rubbed his chin wearily. It had been a long couple of days of worrying over his partner. "So, what now?"
"Well," Brackett leaned back in his chair. "That's up to Johnny. He wants to get over this. He's decided to talk with the psychologist I recommended. That and time, maybe..." He fell silent.
"Maybe?" Roy watched him intently. "Do you mean…is there a chance that he might never get over this?"
"I'm afraid so, Roy. Sometimes, you can develop a phobia that's so deeply imbedded that there's no way to get rid of it. The brain's an amazing instrument. It has this incredible power to heal itself, but that strength can turn in on itself."
Roy fell silent, gripped his coffee cup between his hands. "But Doc, if he doesn't get over this, he won't be able to be a fireman…."
"I know…" Brackett contemplated his own coffee cup. "I know."
Chet, Mike and Dwyer were talking earnestly in the locker room as Roy walked in. The conversation stopped abruptly as the men turned to their lockers, trying to look busy. Roy paused in the doorway for a moment. He knew what they had been talking about, discussing. Johnny and his return the next shift. He strode over to his locker, and pulled open his door.
"Morning, guys," he greeted them, keeping his voice deliberately light.
"Hi, Roy." They all chimed in, though they still looked uncomfortable.
Chet perked up as he noticed someone else walking into the room. "Hey, Chili! Filling in for Marco this week, huh? Hope you can keep up with me."
"Well, Chet," drawled Chili, stepping over to a locker, sending Roy a wink. "I was told they called me in 'cause they needed someone who could do the job of two guys to pick up your slack."
"Oh, funny," grumped Chet. Great. Even without Johnny here, he was going to have to put up with putdowns. Well, if Chili could dish it out, Chet was willing to see if the man could take it as well… He grinned to himself as he headed out of the locker room, busy thinking up the ultimate prank.
Mike and Dwyer quickly followed, leaving Roy and Chili alone in the room. Chili glanced over at Roy as he pulled off his boots. "So, how's it been around here? What are the guys saying about Johnny coming back?"
Roy shook his head. Leave it to Chili to get to the heart of the matter. Just like Johnny. "Mostly they avoid the subject when I'm around, but I know they're wondering about him coming back so soon."
"It's been a month!"
"I know," Roy said.
"So, what? They're worried about whether they'll be able to trust him in a pinch?"
"Yeah."
Frustrated, Chili flung his boots into the locker. "All those years on the job, being one of the best and now, everyone's ready to write him off!"
There was nothing Roy could say to that.
Chili took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself. "So, have you talked to him lately?"
Roy shrugged. "A couple of times. He sounds okay, but then, he always sounds okay."
"He was suppose to come over to my parents on Sunday but he didn't show." Chili began unbuttoning his shirt.
"I don't think he wants to be around a lot of people right now," Roy offered.
"Yeah. Probably feels like everyone's staring at him." Chili hesitated for a moment, obviously wanting to ask something but not sure how to do it.
"Brackett wouldn't let him come back if he didn't think he was ready," Roy answered before he could ask.
"I guess, but do you think he can….come back?" His voice trailed away.
"I don't know. I really don't know."
The words hung in the air. The two men quietly continued dressing.
Johnny slowed as he neared the station. He had given himself plenty of time to get to work. Didn't want to get on the Captain's bad side first day back. He grinned, then sobered as he stopped for a red light.
First shift back. It was going to be tough. He had discussed it with the psychologist Brackett had set him up with. It had been hard at first, opening up, talking about himself, about his thoughts. It just didn't seem natural. He was always vocal with the guys he worked with about his likes, dislikes, but in a way, that stopped them from getting too close, to really know what he was thinking. Baffle them with bull, as his dad would say. Well, maybe everyone except for Roy and Chili.
He hadn't thought talking to someone would help but slowly, he had opened up, finally worked his way around to talking about that day in the trailer and the weeks following it. He hadn't understood what had been happening to him. He knew something had been wrong, figured that Roy knew too but still, he hadn't been able to face it. The nameless dread.
They had a break through finally when Johnny had begun to realize that his mind, unwilling to deal with his feelings of death, had substituted it for a fear of heights. After all, the two had been closely bound together in his mind that afternoon…hanging there, staring down at the bottom of the cliff, staring death in the face.
He wasn't a stupid person. He knew that his job was dangerous, that death was a very real possibility at any moment, but like his colleagues, he didn't think about it. The way they dealt with it was to ignore it, to act instinctively during rescues. Which worked until your soul tapped you on the shoulder, forcing you to face your own mortality.
Traffic began moving again, and Johnny could see the station up ahead. He felt his stomach tighten. Fear. It was a sensation he was starting to become very familiar with. He knew that his colleagues would be watching him closely, wondering if he could do his job.
Hell, he wondered if he could do his job again. Fighting the urge to turn around, he pulled into the station parking lot.
It had been a quiet shift. The crew had been antsy, overly polite, considerate. It was driving Johnny crazy. Even Chili pulling a prank on the phantom didn't quite ease the atmosphere.
Cap sighed as he watching Johnny covertly. He could see the strain the young paramedic was under but there was really nothing he could do to help him through this. Nothing anyone could do until they had a call that would test him, show them and Johnny himself, one way or another. He could well understand the strain everyone was under.
The tones roused them out of bed in the middle of the night.
"Station 51, Station 10, Engine 14. Warehouse fire, 5940 Bathurst Street. Cross street Brunswick. 5-9-4-0 Bathurst Street. Time out 2:45 a.m."
Firefighters were stationed around the building, some inside, all playing their hoses over the flames, trying to tame the fire.
Chili, leading Chet by the arm, hurried over to where Roy and Johnny were set up. "Got a customer for you guys," he joked lightly, though he was careful to ease Chet to the ground gently.
"What happened?" Roy asked, as he gave the coughing firefighter some oxygen.
"He got some cinders in his eyes. Even with his mask on. That stuff's pretty thick in there."
Johnny looked back at the building as he handed Roy some saline.
Stanley jogged over. "He okay?"
"I'm okay, Cap."
"I'm just going to irrigate his eyes," Roy said. "He'll be fine."
"Good." Stanley turned to Chili. "You okay to go back in? I need to get some men on the gantry so we can hit the fire from above."
"Sure, Cap. But since my partner's indisposed here, how about Johnny backing me up?"
Johnny looked up, startled. Cap hesitated for the briefest moment, enough that the men noticed. He turned to Roy. "Can you handle this yourself?"
Roy glanced over at Johnny, then Chili. He nodded. "Yeah."
As the two firefighters arrived at the doorway, stopping to adjust their air masks, Johnny looked over at his friend. "You sure you want me in there with you?"
Chili pulled the strap of his face mask snuggly. "No question," he said, picking up the hose and heading into the burning building.
Johnny hesitated for a moment, then taking a deep breath, followed his friend into the inferno.
The air was so thick with smoke that it was almost claustrophobic. Holding the hose as Chili sprayed water, Johnny kept his attention on the flames, only the flames, not looking down at the ground two stories below them. As long as he did that, he would be all right. He hoped.
"Hey!" Chili pulled on the hose, pointing to where another firefighter was about to step onto the gantry. Flames were licking up behind him. Quickly the two aimed the hose his way.
The gantry swayed suddenly under the additional weight of the fire fighter. Johnny froze. The rocking motion, the hiss of the fire…he was back in the trailer, swinging in the wind. Falling, he was going to fall. He clutched the railing, bending over, unable to move.
Chili looked back at him, frowning. "Johnny?"
He was going to fall. To die. And there was nothing he could do about it. Except wait. The wind was roaring in his ears, deafening him. The rain was slashing at him. He could feel himself losing it, slipping. Johnny started to shake. The memory was so strong, so real.
"Come on, Gage." Chili reached over to tap him on the arm. "Stay with me here."
Johnny was breathing too fast, using up his oxygen. Control. It's all about control, Johnny reminded himself desperately. You're in control. No matter what happens, only you can control how you react to it. Control.
He knew that this moment was the point of no return. Either he moved forward, past this or he gave up, forever.
A deafening explosion rocked the room, sending debris flying through the air, shaking the gantry violently. Both Chili and Johnny were knocked off their feet.
Johnny, stunned for a moment, made his way slowly to his knees. He reached over to Chili, who was still down. "Hey, Chili?"
Chili groaned, shook his head. He pushed himself to a sitting position.
"You okay?"
Coughing, Chili nodded. "Yeah. You?"
Johnny nodded, looking around. Both ends of the gantry were engulfed in flames, effectively cutting off any retreat. Johnny noticed that the fire fighter who had been coming towards them had been knocked down as well, and was still lying face down on the walkway, not moving.
He pulled the H.T. from his pocket and handed it to Chili. "You call for help. I'm gonna go get him."
Chili clicked the H.T. "Engine 51, this is H.T. 51. We're gonna need help in here."
The gantry was still swaying, making walking difficult. Getting down on all fours, Johnny quickly made his way over to the fallen firefighter. He was aware of the fire below them, and even more aware of how far down it was.
But he was in full paramedic/firefighter mode now. He checked the man over quickly, relieved to see that he was still alive. He began working his way back to Chili, hauling the man along with him.
"He still alive?" Chili wanted to know when he finally reached him.
Johnny nodded, gasping for breath. His tank was just about empty. "So where's the Cavalry?"
Just then they heard the whine of a saw overhead. Grinning, Chili pointed above them, to where a saw blade was working through the ceiling.
In short order, a hole was cut through the roof, and a rope lowered down for the guys to climb out on. Chili worried briefly as Johnny, last to leave the walkway, began to make his way up the rope. But Johnny didn't hesitate, and once in the snorkel basket, continued to care for the injured firefighter as they made their way to the ground.
"Meet you at Rampart," Roy said as he climbed into the back of the ambulance, the injured firefighter already on a stretcher inside. "Partner."
"You've got it…partner," Johnny smiled as he closed the doors. He turned to see Chili leaning against the squad, taking a breather.
Chili offered him some of the water he was quaffing.
"Thanks," Johnny took a deep drink. "For… you know…" he waved towards the building.
"Like I said, no question." Chili pushed himself away from the truck, grinned. "Well, no rest for the wicked. While you're off on a nice cushy run to the hospital, I've got to get back to doing real work."
Johnny laughed, shaking his head. "It's not my fault you're not smart enough to go after a paramedic job."
Chili hooted as he walked away. "Later, Gage. We'll continue that discussion later."
About to climb into the squad, Johnny stopped for a moment as he looked out at the burning building, which the firefighters were finally getting under control. He watched his colleagues, the men working as a team. A team that he was a part of.
Smiling, he got into the squad.
"You don't have to do this if you don't want to, you know," Chili reminded his friend, as they walked out onto the airfield. "You don't have to prove anything."
"I know." Johnny took a deep breath as he watched the airplane they were going to use taxi over to them. "I want to."
"Cool." Chili slapped him on the back. "Then let's do it!"
"Hey!"
The two turned to see Roy coming across the field.
"Thought I'd missed you guys."
"Don't tell me you're going to join us?" Johnny asked in disbelief.
"Oh, no." Roy shook his head. "I'm just here to watch."
"Yeah." Johnny smiled. He knew that this was his friend's way of showing his support.
"Besides," Roy grinned, "I figured with the luck you two have, if you're going to be jumping out of an airplane, there should be a paramedic around."
"Ha, ha." Chili glanced over at Johnny. "You're partner's a regular comedian."
"Hey, I need a sense of humor to work with Johnny," Roy assured him.
"Hey," Johnny protested. "What are you picking on me for? He's the one who said it!"
"Do ya want to hear Johnny's theory on why you won't jump?" Chili asked, a wicked smile on his face.
"Chili!" Johnny glared at his friend.
"Great. Another Johnny theory. I don't think there's anything he doesn't have a theory on." Roy walked with the guys toward the plane. "He probably has a theory on why I put up with having him as a partner."
"Oh, well," Johnny turned to him, his eyes gleaming. Time to put his partner in his place. "Now that you mention it…."