Who’s Afraid of the Dark?

Roy crawled out of the window and watched Pete and Charley race to the car. He hoped for the best for the little girl he had been treating when the sky fell. His mind was still on her when he heard a sound behind him. He turned around and looked back into the open window. The sound he’d heard was Johnny stumbling into something. “Hey, come on, Johnny, let’s get going? You all right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Johnny said absently as he struggled to get over a fallen ceiling joist. There was a lot of ruble on the floor and dust was still heavy in the air.

Roy crawled back in and helped him. He wanted them both out of that house as quickly as possible before anything else could fall on them. They needed to be out there helping people not becoming trapped themselves.

Once they were outside, Johnny stood open-mouthed observing the whole scene. “Hey! There’s a fire over there. We’d better call it in. It looks --- hey, Roy, our squad!” He ran toward the squad from force of habit but stopped in his tracks when he saw the crushed vehicle. He was becoming very agitated.

“It’s all right, Johnny. Don’t worry about that.” Johnny had been unconscious for several minutes but he had said he was okay. Now Roy wasn’t so sure. He looked into his eyes. They seemed a little glassy. Roy reached for his pocket to get his pen light so he could check them properly but the light was gone. He must have dropped it when the plane hit. He decided to get him to the triage area. He might have suffered a concussion. He took his arm and tried to lead him away from the squad.

“But, Roy, it’s scratched. It’s buried. It’s..it’s squashed...”

“Johnny, forget about the squad,” he said firmly. “Now, come with me.”

“But we gotta call it in. We gotta find a phone........What happened here? It looks like the end of the world,” Johnny whispered nervously.

“It’s not,” Roy assured him. “Pete says there was a plane crash. Remember, we heard a plane.”

“When?” Johnny asked sincerely.

“Never mind. Just come on.” Roy knew he should keep him calm.

“Where?” Johnny asked blankly.

“Down here to the triage area.”

“I think it’s the end of the world,” Johnny muttered.

“Come on, Johnny.” Roy steered him to the corner. He was obviously still stunned. His head was still bleeding and he stumbled as he walked. Roy cursed himself for not realizing all this sooner.

Just then Engine 51 pulled up to the curb. “Are you guys all right?! We heard you were missing.” Captain Stanley did not cloak the concern in his voice and he jumped down from the rig.

“Cap!” Johnny brightened. “There’s a fire around here somewhere but I forgot where.” He seemed puzzled.

The cap scowled and looked at Roy. “Is he okay?”

“I thought so. Now I’m not so sure,” Roy confessed. “I was taking him to triage.”

“You can’t get through this way,” the cap told him. Wreckage from the plane blocked the street. Several houses were burning just beyond it and other companies fought to contain the blaze. The smell of aviation fuel was heavy in the air. The fuselage had fallen in three pieces several streets over and rescue workers were searching for survivors so the whole area had been cordoned off. Four alarms had been called. Their disaster training was really coming in to play on this one. He called the battalion chief on his handy talkie and reported a code-I. McConnike said he’d send an ambulance to their location.

“You’d better sit down here for a few minutes, Pal,” the cap said kindly offering Johnny the running board.

“Okay,” Johnny said submissively.

The cap and Roy exchanged worried glances. This was not at all like him. There was nothing much they could do for him till the ambulance arrived. The squad was completely inaccessible. The cap dispatched Chet and Marco to hose down the houses in this area in hopes of keeping the fire from spreading to them.

A few nervous homeowners were clustered on the corner and they wanted to help out. The cap sent them to do a house to house search to be sure that everyone was accounted for. They knew far better than he did which houses would have had anyone at home during the day. It gave them something to do which was far better than just standing around worrying.

The cap then pulled Roy aside. “What the heck happened to you guys?”

“Everything seemed normal enough. We were treating that little girl. Then, all of a sudden, we heard the sound of a plane. It sounded pretty loud then the next thing we knew the roof caved in. Johnny got grazed by a beam. He lost consciousness for a few minutes but he said he was okay. He seemed okay at first but as soon as he started moving around he got confused. He probably has a concussion,” Roy told the captain as he got the first aid kit out of the engine. He had to do something. He felt really guilty for not realizing that Johnny was hurt right away.

Meanwhile Johnny sat on the running board watching Mike work the engine. He had a strange vacant look on his face. “You know it’s funny, I always though there were only four gauges on the engine,” he commented to Mike.

“There are only four.” Mike was puzzled. He wondered if Johnny was about to make some kind of pun using his own last name.

“You kidding me?” Johnny laughed. “I can plainly see eight. Or is it ten?” He squinted then blinked a couple of times to get a better look.

“Roy!” Mike called.

Roy and the cap came running. “What is it, Stoker?” the cap demanded.

“He’s seeing double. He swears there are eight gauges here,” Mike said quietly.

Roy and the cap exchanged worried glances. “Here, Johnny. Let’s get this wound dressed. Can’t have you bleeding on Mike’s engine, now can we?” Roy said lightly.

“Bleeding?” Johnny mumbled. He touched his forehead. “Ouch. I thought my head hurt.” He seemed confused once more.

“It’s okay. I’ll fix you right up,” Roy promised. He cleaned and bandaged the wound as quickly as he could.

A police department station wagon pulled up and Vince Howard got out. “Got room for two more in here. There’s no ambulance available and I’m on my way to Rampart to pick up blood and supplies,” he told the cap.

The cap and Roy helped Johnny to the police car. Johnny was feeling strangely silly. “Vince,” he laughed. “You should have your lights on in this fog. Thought you’d have known that.”

“What’s he talking about? He been in the smoke?” Vince wondered.

“No,” Roy whispered nervously as he helped Johnny into the backseat. “Head injury. Let’s move it!”

“You got it,” Vince promised.

Roy took the first aid kit and climbed in beside Johnny where he could keep a good eye on him.

“Are we being arrested?” Johnny found this idea very funny.

“He’s happy anyway,” Vince commented as he tore off in the direction of the hospital under lights and sirens.

About halfway there Johnny started looking a little green. “Vince, you’d better take it easy for a minute. I think he might get sick,” Roy cautioned. Vince slowed down. “You okay, Johnny?”

“It’s awfully dizzy in here,” Johnny gasped. “For a cop, he’s a terrible driver.” Johnny was suddenly very sweaty.

“Are you all right? Do you feel sick?” Roy demanded nervously.

Johnny didn’t seem to understand. He just stared ahead blankly. “Go ahead, I guess.” Roy did not cloak the concern in his voice. He really wanted to get Johnny to Rampart where the doctors could take care of him.

“We’re almost there,” Vince promised. It was easy to read Roy’s mind. He’d never seen him so worried. This was Vince's third trip to the hospital from the crashsite, he knew the way by heart now. He pulled into the entrance and backed up to the ER door. An orderly was waiting for him with the supplies. Vince got out and opened the tailgate of the station wagon. “Load it up. I’ve got some victims here,” he commanded as he went back to help Roy get Johnny out of the car.

“Victims,” Johnny chuckled. “We’re not victims, we’re firemen. Firemen can’t be victims.”

“'Fraid you are this time,” Vince said sympathetically.

The ER was a madhouse. They’d been receiving other victims of the crash along with their normal emergencies. Reporters had also descended on the place. Lights, cables and cameras made negotiating the room a real challenge. The frantic activity made Johnny feel dizzy. “I’d better sit down,” he mumbled.

“Okay,” Roy agreed. He sat him in one of the chairs in the waiting area that was a little bit away from the area where the media had clustered demanding answers. He didn’t want them to notice them and think they could give them any info. Roy wasn’t big one talking to TV cameras at the best of times and now his only concern was getting some help for Johnny.

“Look, I gotta get that blood back there,” Vince apologized.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Thanks a lot, Vince.”

“Anytime. Sure hope he’s okay.”

“He will be,” Roy promised, though his voice shook and his eyes glistened slightly. He wished he could believe his own words on this. He turned back to Johnny. He needed medical attention NOW. Roy peered through the crowd hoping to see a familiar face and catch someone’s eye. It was impossible. He was going to have to work his way through the crowd. “Look, will you be okay to sit here a minute? I’m gonna try and get some help. Are you still dizzy?”

“I’m awful thirsty,” Johnny confessed leaving Roy unsure he’d even heard his question. “I’d like to go get a drink of water but I can’t see the fountain. It’s so foggy in here.”

“I’ll get you some. Just stay here. Okay, Johnny? Don’t move.” Roy really debated with himself about leaving him but he had to get him help. He didn’t see an empty wheelchair or gurney he could snag to move Johnny through the crowd so he really had no choice but to leave him on the chair and try and hurry back to him with help. From what he was saying he must have been experiencing blurred vision. This could be even worse than a concussion. He made his way through the mob and up to the nurse’s station. No one was at the desk but he spotted Dixie coming out of one of the treatment rooms. He tried calling her over the hubbub in the ER. She looked around but didn’t seem to hear him clearly enough. He called louder. She saw him and walked down the corridor to him.

“There you guys are. We lost your transmission and then this happened. You heard about the plane crash, right?”

“I know. I KNOW. It landed on us. I thought Johnny was okay but he’s not.” Roy was beginning to panic.

“Where is he?” Dixie took control.

Roy led her to him. “Look at this mob of reporters. We’re not even the primary on this one. All we’ve gotten so far is people who had a fender benders looking at the crashsite from the freeway and a guy who got chest pains after seeing the plane go down from several blocks away and we’re still going flat out. What’s it like on scene?”

“I’m not really sure. I never made it to triage. There were some homes burning but I was really paying more attention to Johnny.”

“See if you can see a gurney anywhere,” Dixie commanded Roy as she squatted in front of Johnny. “And what happened to you, Johnny?”

He shrugged. “How come you keep it so dark in here, Dix? Whadya do, forget to pay the light bill?” he teased with a smile.

Since it wasn’t dark in there, she and Roy exchanged worried glances. “Try the treatment rooms there may be a spare one in there.” She checked the pressure bandage Roy had put on Johnny’s wound. When the pressure was relieved, it began to bleed again and Johnny slumped forward a bit. “Are you all right, Johnny?”

“Tell ya the truth, Dix, I’m not feeling too good all of a sudden. I’d better go to the men’s room.” He tried to stand up but his knees buckled and before they could catch him, he fell on his butt on the floor.

“JOHNNEEEE!” Roy was close to losing it now.

“Get that gurney, Roy,” Dixie commanded him. The fierceness in her voice brought him under control.

There didn’t seem to be an empty gurney in the whole hospital. Roy ran from treatment room to treatment room in search of one. After he’d checked all the ones on one side of the hallway he went across to the other. He noticed Joe Early getting off the elevator. He was wearing surgical scrubs. He stopped to talk to Jenny’s mother and the relief in the woman’s face was easy to read. Pete and Charley had been waiting with her and they were equally ecstatic.

“Roy, don’t worry. She’s going to be fine,” Joe said when he saw him in the hallway.

“Oh, ah.. Great.” Roy was glad for Jenny but he was too worried about Johnny to feel very celebratory.

“What’s wrong, Roy?” Pete wondered.

“It’s Johnny.” Roy’s voice cracked with worry. “He’s hurt worse than we thought. He’s in a bad way, Doc. Ya gotta help him.” Roy knew that Joe was a neurosurgeon and was afraid that Johnny would need one. The elevator had opened again and an orderly was pushing an empty gurney got off of it. Roy grabbed it from him with no explanation and ran back toward Johnny. “This way,” he called to the doctor and the other two paramedics.

Johnny was still sitting on the floor when they arrived. “He’s vomited twice, Joe,” Dixie reported.

“Let’s get him onto this gurney, guys,” Dr Early told them.

“Doctor Early?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah, it’s me, Johnny.”

“Why can’t I see you, Doc? Why is it so dark in here?”

They all look worried as they lifted him onto the gurney. Joe Early kept talking to him. “How do you feel, Johnny?”

“I feel really awful. Like a mule kicked me in the head and the guts,” he told them as they made their way through the crowd to the treatment rooms.

“Don’t worry, Johnny, we’ll take care of you,” Joe promised.

Dixie pushed the door of room 4 open. “You guys better wait out here,” she said in no uncertain terms as the door to the room closed on the three paramedics.

“Come on, Roy,” Pete offered. “Let’s get a cup of coffee. None of us have a ride back to the crashsite at the moment anyway.”

“Good idea,” said Charley, throwing his arm over Roy’s shoulder in a gesture of friendship. “Remember, Roy, us Injuns are a tough lot.” Though Charley was only part Indian, he was just as proud of his heritage as Johnny was.

Roy let them walk him down to the lounge and sit him in a chair while they got the coffee. His movements were mechanical, like this whole thing was a bad dream. Once they were all seated at the table they sat in companionable silence while they drank some coffee. The caffeine jolted Roy to life a little bit. He needed to talk. He knew they’d listen. “I should have known something was wrong. He was out cold for a long time. I didn’t pay enough attention to the scene in general. All I thought about was the little girl,” he admitted miserably.

“That’s exactly what you should have done, Roy. She was your patient. She had to be your top priority,” Pete assured him.

“But I didn’t even look at him. It never even crossed my mind that he could be injured. I can’t believe I was so lax.”

“Roy, I’m sure you were a little stunned yourself. A plane had just crashed on both of you, for crying out loud,” Charley tried to reason with him to make him feel less guilty.

“You know, we were having a fight right before that run,” Roy mused sadly.

“All partners have fights,” Pete reasoned.

“Yeah, but this was senseless, I was grouching --- I never should have said those things to him.....”

“Roy, pull yourself together,” Pete said firmly. “Let’s turn the TV on. Maybe we can get some news.”

“I’d really rather not see it,” Roy confessed.

“Okay,” Charley agreed. He had his hand on the on switch on the TV in the lounge. He had hoped to find out what was happening at the site but if it would make Roy feel even worse, he’d gladly forgo it. He walked back to the table but he was feeling decidedly antsy.

“He can’t see.” Roy said it so softly that they hardly heard him. “He might be blind for life or even worse.......”

“Roy, you have to think positively,” Charley warned.

“I really thought he was okay. It wasn’t bleeding that bad at first. I-I thought it was just a scratch.” Roy continued to torture himself.

“Roy, quit beating yourself up. You had your hands full with Christine and Jennifer. What the heck happened anyway? Why were you ever there?” Pete thought to ask. Once he had taken Jenny from Roy they'd just gotten her to the hospital and things were kind of a blur from then on. He'd never found out all the details.

“She -- ah -- Jenny got hit with a baseball. She’s gonna be okay, though, huh?” Roy struggled to answer the question. If something had happened to Joanne and his kids he’d want straight answers from the attending paramedic.

“She’s gonna be fine. She’ll be right out there pitching again before we know it,” Pete assured him.

“Wish we could say the same for Johnny,” Roy said, losing his battle to keep his voice steady.

“Look, I’ll go check on him, okay?” Charley couldn’t stand it. He knew he’d be just as upset if his partner had been hurt but his personal connection with the victims made Johnny’s injury even more personal to him. He went out into the hallway and ran into the engine company from 51's. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We hauled back some equipment from the site,” Chet began.

“How are things going there?”

“Fire’s contained. Not much of the house left though,” Chet said apologetically.

“Don’t worry about that. Any survivors on the plane?”

“Yeah, I think so. We really weren’t involved with that end of it,” Chet told him.

“How are Gage and DeSoto?” Captain Stanley cut to the chase. Whatever their condition was, he wanted to know it.

“DeSoto’s okay. Not a scratch. He’s just worried, is all,” Charley told them. He hated being the bearer of bad news, especially when he wasn’t really sure of the answer to the question he knew they’d ask.

“How’s Johnny?” Marco had to know.

“I was just going to check on him. Last time I saw him, though, he didn’t look too good,” he admitted. They deserved the truth. “Why don’t you guys go on into the coffee room and I’ll come let you know what I find out.”

Charley walked on down the hall to the treatment room they’d taken Johnny to. Rather hesitantly, he went inside. “How’s he doing?” he hardly dared to ask.

Dr. Early was looking at a set of x-rays. “Well, there’s no skull fracture but he’s very confused. He doesn’t know what day it is or what happened to him. He seems to tune in and out of the conversation. He’s got a severe headache, vertigo, nausea and --”

“And he still can’t see,” Charley finished sadly.

“That’s right,” Joe said quietly. “But, look, it could be temporary. We haven’t finished the exam yet.”

“Yeah.” Charley digested that. “Doc, would it have made any difference if we had gotten him here sooner, I mean, we could have run him in with Jenny if we had realized.”

“It’s hard to say, Charley. These symptoms didn’t manifest themselves right away. Chances are, triage being what it is, he would have just sat here unattended for almost this long anyway.” Joe was honest with him. He didn’t need any more paramedics feeling guilty about this. He was sure Roy was a basket case already.

“Is he gonna make it, Doc?” Charley was worried. Johnny was his friend also.

“He’s stable and his vitals are strong,” Joe said hopefully. “We’ll let you know more when we complete the examination.”

“Okay, we’ll be in the coffee room.”

“How’s Roy doing?” Dixie asked. She shared Joe’s opinion of what Roy would be going through.

“Kinda shaky. He’s blaming himself. I’ll tell him what you said about triage, Doc. Maybe that will make him feel a little better.”

They went back to work on Johnny. Charley watched them for a few minutes. Johnny seemed pretty out of it at the moment. Charley knew he could have extensive brain damage. He could even die. This sure was a hell of a mess.

Slowly he walked back to the lounge. He was dreading facing 51's. All eyes were on him immediately when he entered the room asking him silent questions.

“Well,” he sighed. “He’s stable and his vitals are strong. There’s no skull fracture.” He presented the good news first.

The engine company looked relieved but Roy was not pacified. “But?” he asked expectantly.

Charley squirmed a bit. “He’s very confused.”

“Well, that’s to be expected,” Captain Stanley said. “He’s been through a lot today.”

“That’s true, Cap, but we have to consider the fact that this could be a serious head injury.”

“Is he still blind?” Roy blurted the question out since it seemed like Charley was glossing over the fact.

“BLIND?!” the engine company asked in unison. This was the first they’d heard of that.

“He had double vision,” Mike pointed out.

“Then it got cloudy, then nothing.” Roy banged his fist on the table in frustration.

“Look, Roy, Dr. Early said it wasn’t your fault. Even if we had gotten him in here right away, triage being what it was, no one would have looked at him till he started manifesting symptoms. You got him here right away when that happened,” Charley assured him.

“I should have known,” Roy disagreed angrily. “He was out too long. I should have been suspicious!”

“Roy, it wouldn’t have made any difference,” Charley tried to get through to him again.

“Roy, you wanna go call Joanne?” the cap asked.

“What for?”

“To take you home, Pal,” the cap said kindly.

“I can’t go home. I’m not hurt. I have to work.”

“On what, Babe?” Chet asked kindly. “We saw the squad. Man, it’s just so much twisted rubble. You were both damn lucky you weren’t in it at the time.”

Roy paled a little. “Still, I wanna stay here,” he insisted.

“She could come and sit with you. You’d better call her anyway and let her know you’re okay. There was a camera crew nosing around and they might have gotten a shot of the squad. No point in her worrying about you, Pal.”

“I suppose so, Cap.” Roy stood up and sighed. He rubbed his eyes for a minute then went to find a phone somewhere else. He wanted to have a private conversation with his wife.

“Boy, he’s taking this hard,” the cap commented as soon as he’d left.

“Blind, man,” Chet muttered. “I don’t know if I’d be able to deal with that.”

“He may not have to,” Charley told him.

“You mean he might die?” Marco asked emotionally. He was sure the paramedics understood this situation better than he did.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant at all. Sometimes injury causes swelling that creates pressure on the optic nerve causing temporary blindness. When the swelling goes down the pressure is relieved and vision is restored,” Charley explained.

“Man, I sure hope that’s what happens,” Chet swore.

“And sometimes severe shock causes hysterical blindness and it clears up in a few days,” Pete offered.

“It better be something like that. If Gage ended up with a white cane and a pension -- it’d kill him.”

They all knew Chet was right.

It was four days before Dr. Early would allow Johnny to have any visitors. When he was at last given the okay, Roy was the first one in. There had been no change in Johnny’s vision and they had bandaged his eyes to prevent eyestrain. Johnny was sitting up in the hospital bed but Roy wasn’t sure whether or not he was dozing. “Johnny, you awake?” he asked in a loud whisper.

“Roy!” Johnny sounded glad he was there. Roy still felt somehow responsible for Johnny’s condition and was worried that Johnny would blame him also but he didn’t sound angry. “Welcome to the lair of the Mummy.” Johnny patted his bandages to emphasis the word mummy.

“How are you feeling?” Roy asked nervously.

“Like a plane feel on me.”

“Ah...” Roy stammered.

“That was supposed to be a joke. The least you could do is laugh.” Johnny seemed to be in exceptionally high spirits.

“Sorry, I guess I don’t feel much like laughing,” Roy confessed. He still felt like a bundle of nerves.

“Are you okay? They told me you weren’t hurt.” Johnny was immediately concerned.

“I wasn’t. It’s just that I feel um...”

“You feel what? You can’t possibly be blaming yourself for this, can you partner?” Johnny was incredulous. “You weren’t flying that plane, Roy, so how can you blame yourself for the crash? That’s reaching, even for a mother hen like you.”

“Well not for the crash but for not realizing you were hurt sooner...”

“Sooner than what? You got me here as soon as we got out of that house on the first available transport that much I do remember. Other parts are a little fuzzy, though. They tell me I was acting like a drunken fool on the way in here.” Johnny again tried for humor.

“You were a little out of it. You told Vince Howard he was a terrible driver for a cop.”

“I did?! Hope he knows I was kidding,” Johnny laughed.

“Don’t worry about that now. Look, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Roy was relieved that Johnny didn’t blame him. That made him feel much better. Maybe now he could stop blaming himself, just a little.

“I feel okay. Wonders of modern medicine,” Johnny assured him.

“Well is there anything you need? Magazines or anything?” Roy asked nervously.

“I don’t need any magazines, partner,” Johnny said quietly.

“Oh God! Johnny, I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry,” Roy’s voice shook.

“It’s all right, Roy. I mean for one thing we could have both been killed, right? How many people have a plane crash on top of them and live to tell about it? I think we were darned lucky things turned out the way they did. Plus, they tell me the little girl is going to be just fine.” Johnny was putting the best spin on the situation he could.

“Yeah, she is. I looked in on her yesterday. Charley figures that she’ll be out playing ball again in no time.”

“Good for her. Life goes on, Roy. For all of us. Her, me, you....”

“Me? I didn’t even get a scratch.”

“Yeah, but you’re finding 16 ways to blame yourself. Can the guilt trip, Roy. This wasn’t your fault. There’s nothing you could have done to change anything. No point in bringing yourself down about it. Just chill out, man.”

“Chill out?”

“I’ve been talking to one of the orderlies. He’s a musician by night. If nothing else, by the time I get out of here, I’m going to be able to sound very cool,” Johnny laughed. “Besides, this could be only temporary, remember. And even if it’s not, look at the money I could save on stuff like magazines and newspapers, light bulbs. Hey, I can sell my car. I can save a fortune on upkeep and insurance alone. Which will be good because I won’t be able to work and I’ll need the money......”

Roy sensed that Johnny’s false cheerful facade was starting to crack. “It’s okay, Johnny. Don’t worry about anything like that.”

“Well, I have to, Roy. I-I don’t know what I’m gonna do...”

Johnny’s voice quaked and he sounded truly frightened. Roy’s heart went out to him but he thought it was probably better that he talk about his fears rather than just pretending everything was fine, which he was sure Johnny was doing for his sake.

“I’m scared,” Johnny whispered miserably.

Roy moved closer to the bed. He put his hand on Johnny’s arm supportively. “Don’t be, Johnny. You’ve got lots of friends to help you out.”

“No, Roy. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”

“You’re not!” Roy assured him forcefully.

“What I’m not, is some kind of an invalid. I’m young. I’m perfectly healthy. I’ve got four perfectly good arms and legs. I’ve just got to learn to do things for myself a little differently, is all.” It was Johnny’s turn to be forceful.

“And you will. There’s all kinds of occupational therapy available if necessary and like you said this could be temporary.” Roy tried to be as encouraging as possible. Johnny had whipped a lot of other things in the past. He could still pull this one out of the hat. He really did believe that and he had to make Johnny believe it too.

“I know. I know. I keep telling myself that but somehow my mind wanders and I find myself thinking about the worst case scenario,” Johnny admitted.

“That’s only natural but like Charley says, you have to think positively.”

“Look on the bright side. Yeah, I know and there’s a bright side to it no matter which way it turns out. I could get a seeing eye dog. One that was calm and already trained. Not like the puppy that chick gave me. I always wanted a dog although she did cure me a little,” Johnny went on enthusiastically. “Oh, but wait. I can’t have pets in my apartment.”

“I’m sure they’d make an exception for a seeing eye dog. And if they didn’t, we’d find you one that did,” Roy promised.

“Maybe one near the station and I could walk over and visit. You wouldn’t believe this but I even miss Chet’s ugly face. I’d hate to just be forgotten.....” Johnny became quiet again.

“Hey, there’s no chance of that, Pal. What kind of friends do you think we are?”

“Oh, I know it wouldn’t happen on purpose or anything but --”

“Johnny, there’s NO chance!”

“Hey lives change. People move on. It happens all the time, Roy. I sure will miss being a paramedic though.......”

“Johnny, it’s too early to worry about anything like that now.” Roy tried to comfort him. He knew how he’d feel if it was him this was happening to.

“Least there’s no one depending on me. Good thing I’m not married.” Johnny was again trying to look on the bright side of things.

But Roy didn’t think that was the bright side. At least if it happened to him, he’d have his family. Johnny was all alone with no one to take care of him or help him if he needed anything. Roy desperately wanted to cheer him up. “Any word on when are you getting out of here?”

“I don’t know. It’ll probably be a couple of weeks anyway. I feel okay but Joe Early is still farting around with tests.”

“When you do get out, Joanne insists that you come and stay with us.”

“No, I couldn’t.”

“You gonna argue with Joanne?!” Roy couldn’t believe that. Joanne had a knack of getting her own way so argument was generally futile.

“No. Thanks. I know what you’re trying to do and I appreciate it but if I’m going to spend the rest of my days in the dark, I’ve got to start coping with it right away. Besides, I know my way around my apartment. I really think it’s better to be someplace I’m familiar with at first. Just till I get the hang of....things. Ya know what I mean?”

Roy squeezed his shoulder affectionately. “I understand. I’ll explain it to Joanne. But you will have to at least come over for dinner.”

“Love to. As soon as I learn how to eat in the dark. So far it’s pretty messy.”

“You’ll learn,” Roy assured him.

“Gotta learn a lot of things all over again,” Johnny admitted.

“I have complete faith in you. I’ve never known anyone with more determination.” Roy’s praise was completely heartfelt.

“That’s us Injuns,” Johnny sighed. “We’re survivors. Roy, I’m kinda tired right now.”

“Sure, sure. I understand. You want to lay down flat?”

“Yeah.”

Roy lowered the bed. “How’s that?”

“Fine,” Johnny said sleepily.

“Okay. Look, I’ll come back and see you again real soon,” Roy promised.

“Yeah. See ya.” Johnny smiled. He was tired but he also wanted to be alone with his thoughts he had a lot of thinking to do.

Roy stepped out into the hallway. The other guys were waiting there. They had been told that they could only go in one at a time. They’d also been warned that he would tire easily so they weren’t completely surprised when Roy shook his head as Chet attempted to enter.

“How is he?” Chet demanded.

“I guess he’s as good as can be expected but he wants to sleep right now. Maybe you guys could look in on him later.”

“How’s he feeling?” the cap asked.

“He says he feels good but he’s pretending to be a lot more cheerful than he’s really feeling. He’s worried, of course but he’s trying to accept things no matter what happens.” The conversation that they’d had played over and over in Roy’s head. “He’s afraid we’ll forget him,” he added quietly. He hadn’t really meant to say that out loud but it was the thing that really stood out in his mind. The other guys all insisted that that could never happen. He hoped that they’d all be able to convince Johnny that, whatever happened, he was a friend and he’d never be forgotten by anyone.

The next time Roy saw him was the next day. Chet was with him and since they hadn’t been told to go in one at a time they both entered his room. Johnny was once more sitting up in bed.

“Hi, Johnny,” Roy greeted him.

“Hey, Babe,” Chet said softly. He still remembered Roy telling them that Johnny was afraid he’d be forgotten. He couldn’t imagine how he’d ever gotten an idea like that. He hoped that one of his pranks hadn’t been the cause of it.

“Hello,” Johnny said quietly.

“Are you okay?” Roy demanded.

“Yeah.” Johnny seemed preoccupied.

“You sure, Babe?” Chet was really worried.

“You know it’s funny,” Johnny began. His voice sounded distant. “That plane lands on us and I was the one that was blinded.”

Roy was clearly uncomfortable so Chet responded. “Guess that’s just the way things happen sometimes.”

“You mean like fate?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah something like that.”

“You know my grandfather was blind. Not his whole life but he was when I knew him. Cataracts,” Johnny told them.

Johnny almost never spoke about his family. The rarity of him doing so now was not lost on either Roy or Chet. Roy secretly thought that the reason he was so tight-lipped about it was because of Chet’s teasing. They let him go on talking.

“We spent a lot of time together before I was old enough to go to school. We’d go on long walks out into the boonies and he’d tell me all kinds of things. Teach me about nature. How to live off the land. At the time, I thought I was acting as his eyes but now that I think back on it, he didn’t really need my help. Way back then, I thought he was the smartest man in the whole world with all the things that he knew. Then when I was older and went to school they frowned on the old ways. Said all that wasn’t important and we had to be modern if we were going to get ahead in the world. But since this happened I’ve been thinking about my grandfather a lot. Sometimes we’d even play a game. He’d put a blindfold on me to make me see without my eyes. He said sometimes your eyes got in the way of seeing the truth and you had to listen to your other senses too if you wanted to know the whole story. And now -- well it’s just kinda weird, isn’t it?” Johnny spoke in a quiet, thoughtful way.

Neither Roy nor Chet knew what to say.

“Are you still there?”

“Yeah, we’re here,” Chet said around a lump in his throat.

“I thought so. It’s not all dark, you know.” He abruptly changed the subject.

“What?”

“It’s not all dark. Dr. Early took the bandages off for a while this morning. It’s like it’s real foggy but I can see shapes. I wanted him to leave them off but he wouldn’t.”

“Well maybe that’s a good sign.” Roy was hopeful.

“Nope. If it was gonna be okay, it would have been this morning. So now I know but still this is better than it being all dark.” Johnny seemed strangely accepting of his situation.

“There’s nothing more they can do? No operation or anything?!” Chet demanded desperately. He wasn’t ready to give up hope yet.

“Not that I’d agree to. I’d rather be in a shadowy fog than crippled or dead.”

Roy knew about the operation Johnny was referring to. It was experimental and dangerous. He thought Johnny had made a wise choice.

The silence was deadly so Johnny changed the subject. “I’m gonna get out soon.”

“Hey great! Sure you won’t reconsider and come stay with us?” Roy asked.

“To tell you the truth, Roy, I’m thinking about going home for a while.”

“Home? To your apartment?”

“Well, for a short while till I get things ironed out but I mean back...back to where I came from. Montana,” Johnny said quietly.

“That’s a good idea, Gage,” Chet said sympathetically. “You should be with family at a time like this.” Chet figured that Johnny talking about his grandfather meant that family was on his mind.

“Can we help you pack or anything?” Roy offered.

“Yes you can because I can’t remember where I left everything and eyes would sure come in handy. I think I’ll sublet my apartment so I don’t have to think about rent and stuff. Charley stopped by last night. He was telling me about all the people who were displaced by the plane crash so we can help each other out on this, right? It’s better than living in a hotel till the insurance comes through so they can rebuild.”

“How long are you planning to be gone?” Roy asked. He tried to make his voice sound casual. He agreed with Chet that this was probably a good thing for Johnny but he’d miss him.

“For the summer maybe. I used to go back summers when I was in high school so it’ll be like old times really. You think I could store some personal stuff in your garage, Roy?”

“Of course you can!”

“You can use the TV and stuff like that in the house if you want to. Maybe I should sell my car. Chet, you still interested in buying it?”

“Well, yeah if you’re sure.”

“Chet,” Johnny laughed. “It’s not like I can use it.”

“Okay. I’ll see if I can get the money up.”

“No hurry. I trust you. Somehow money’s not too important to me right now, I couldn’t tell a single from a thousand dollar bill. I feel better now that I’m getting things together about the apartment and stuff. The cap called me. He said that since it was a work related injury, I’m eligible for a pension. I guess I won’t have to worry about money like I thought so what I’d really like to do is go get my head together in nature. You know, clean air, sunshine. Whadya think?”

“I think it’s a great idea!” Roy forced his voice to be jubilant. He was glad that Johnny couldn’t see that his eyes were glistening. Chet was looking away so Roy was sure he was in the same state. They had to think about what was best for Johnny right now, though. Roy was glad that he was so positive and upbeat but didn’t know how 51's would ever fill the void he’d leave.

Three weeks later, Chet and Roy were at the main bus station downtown, putting Johnny on a bus for Montana.

“I still think you’d be better off on a plane,” Chet said for the 100th time. He eyed some of the denizens of the bus station with concern.

“I told you, Chet, I’d have to change planes twice to get there. Once in Denver and once in Cheyenne. Denver is a zoo even it you can read the signs and there are so few people working at Cheyenne that I could miss my flight before I could find anyone to help me get to the gate. This bus goes right down the road the reservation is on. All I have to do is sit tight till I get there. I took this bus trip every summer while I was in high school and once the year before last when my car was in the shop. I know what I’m doing here. I feel comfortable, ya know?”

“Suit yourself,” Chet said as he and Roy guided Johnny to the bus. He’d insisted on buying his ticket by himself but they were bound and determined to make sure he got on the right bus.

Chet was toting Johnny’s duffle bag which he swore was full of rocks. Johnny wore the large backpack he used for camping. He told them it was the easiest thing since he needed a hand free for his cane. He hated the thing but was getting pretty good at getting around using it.

Chet handed the duffle to the driver who stowed it in the large compartment under the bus. He offered to do the same for the backpack but Johnny assured him it would fit on the overhead rack.

“Don’t matter all that much. This run is never crowded. You could probably just stick it on the seat next to you,” the driver told him. He took a look at the cane and Johnny’s dark glasses. “You guys can get on with him and make sure he’s settled if you want. We won’t be pulling out for another 15 minutes.”

Johnny rolled his eyes behind his dark glasses but he was sure they couldn’t tell. 15 more minutes, he told himself. You can take it for 15 more minutes. They mean well.

Chet and Roy boarded the bus with him. Chet looked around at the other passengers. There were only 6 of them, a couple of old ladies, a woman with a kid, an old guy who was sleeping across two seats in the rear and a soldier. He supposed Johnny would be safe enough. Anyone that got on between here and Montana wouldn’t be a California crazy. Chet helped him shrug out of his backpack.

“Just put it on the inner seat,” Johnny told him.

“Don’t you want the window?”

“Ah no, Chet, I don’t need the window,” Johnny said patiently.

“I’m sorry,” Chet gasped. “I didn’t think--”

“You never do,” Johnny grinned as he sat in the aisle seat. He wanted himself between the rest of the passengers and his stuff.

“Here,” Roy said nervously shoving a large tupperware container into Johnny’s hands. “Joanne made you some sandwiches and those brownies you life for the trip.”

“She didn’t have to do that but I appreciate it. Thank her for me. I’m not sure when I can get her container back to her, though.”

“Keep it. We have a whole cabinet full of them. I’m tired of having them fall out on me every time I open the door. Look, ah have a good trip, okay.”

“I will, thanks.” Roy had grabbed his hand and shook it. He noticed Roy’s palms were really sweaty.

“How long will it take to get there?” Chet asked.

“What difference does it make? I’m a man of leisure now, remember. No schedules. No time clocks. I almost feel sorry for you guys. Almost,” he laughed.

“You ah keep in touch, you hear?” Roy said nervously.

“I can’t exactly write letters,” Johnny told him.

“Well call then. Or something.”

“If there’s no phones use the pony express or some other Western thing?” Chet tried for a joke to ease the tension of this awkward situations.

“I’ll send ya some smoke signals,” Johnny said with mock anger. “Don’t worry about me, guys. I know what I’m doing, honest.”

“Have someone get in touch with us when you’re on your way back, if nothing else, so we can meet ya at the station.”

“I will,” Johnny assured them.

“We’re pulling out in five minutes,” the bus driver called from the front of the bus.

“Well, we’d better get off now before we end up in Montana with you,” Chet said. He grabbed Johnny’s hand and shook it too. “Take care, Babe.”

“I will, you too, Chet. Thanks for everything.”

“No problem and I’ll take real good care of your car too. I promise. Bye now.” With that Chet left so that Roy could say goodbye to Johnny in private.

“Look, ah have a nice visit with your family. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for but don’t you dare forget to come home to us, you hear me?” Roy said quickly brushing an errant tear away. “I’m gonna miss ya, Junior.” His voice cracked.

“I’ll be back. Pally. You can take that to the bank,” Johnny promised. “I just need some time, ya know?”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Come on, Roy,” Chet hollered. “I’m NOT going to explain to Joanne that you accidentally went to Montana. You know she’d kill all three of us!”

“He’s right about that,” Roy laughed. “Take care, Johnny,” he said shaking his hand one more time.

“You too, Roy and stop worrying. You’re hair’s already getting thin on top.”

“Maybe I won’t miss you that much, after all,” Roy huffed although it was a complete lie. He was a little sensitive about his hair loss and Johnny knew it.

Johnny just laughed. He heard Roy making his way down the aisle to the front of the bus. He knew he’s stop at the door.

“Bye Johnny,” Roy called at the door.

“Bye Roy,” he called back.

The small child in the front who was riding with his mother mimicked him. “Bye Roy,” the kid said. His mother hushed him right away but Johnny just smiled at her. He was on the brink of independence. Nothing could upset him now. He heard the bus engine start and felt the bus lurch away. He was sure that Roy and Chet were waving to him from the platform. He settled back into his seat for the journey although it wouldn’t be as long as he’d led them to believe. He would miss his friends and he did appreciate all they were doing for him. The problem was they wanted to do too much. He needed to find his own way now and he had to do that on his own. Much as he had loved his old life, it was over now and he’d have to start anew. He thought of his grandfather. He was the one who would show Johnny the way now.

Johnny didn’t really plan on going back to Montana. He’d run into the same problem there. People would mean well but they’d be too helpful. He’d never learn to do things on his own if everyone did everything for him. His grandfather had been very vocal in his opposition to too much help also. He wanted to be as independent as the old man had been. Not only had he looked after himself most of the time, he’d looked after Johnny since he was a toddler. He’d since learned what a handful small kids could be and he had to admire Grandfather even more. He would do things Grandfather’s way. There was a spot that he had camped in for years. It was off the beaten path and he knew it like the back of his hand. This was where he would find himself and figure out what the heck to do with the rest of his life.

Roy stood staring after the bus for a full five minutes. Finally Chet came up to him and said that they’d better go.

“Yeah, I guess,” Roy said. He fought to keep his voice from shaking. Now he knew what it felt like to lose your best friend. They’d been partners for seven years. Seven years of ups and downs but he wouldn’t trade away a minute of them.

“He’ll be fine, Roy,” Chet assured him.

“How do you know?” Roy lashed out. He needed to lash out at someone and Chet was right there.

“Because I know Johnny. He’s tough. He’s tougher than any of us. Why do you think I always picked on him?”

“I have no idea.”

“Because he could take it. He’s made of stern stuff, Roy. You just gotta have faith in him. He’ll go home, recharge his batteries and figure out his place in the world. He’s got his shit together a whole lot better than most people for all his squirelly ways,” Chet told him as he slung his arm over Roy’s shoulder affectionately. “I’d better get you home. Suppose Joanne has any more of those brownies around?”

They walked out to the parking lot to Johnny’s Land Rover. They both thought he’d like to have one last ride in it. “He’d better be okay,” Roy muttered after they’d gotten in.

“He will be. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“Me?!”

“Yeah you. I mean we’ll all miss Johnny but you worked with him all the time. It’s gonna be hard to break in a new partner.”

“I’m not going to,” Roy said simply.

“Whatdya mean? You’re not thinking of quitting the program, are you?”

“No but I talked to both Brackett and the cap about this. I’m going to become a training officer. They’ve been wanting to try that out. From now on I’ll get the rookie paramedics fresh out of the classroom training. They’ll do a slightly longer, more intensive version of their field work at 51's then be assigned somewhere permanently when I say they’re ready. I’ve been in the program the longest now so Brackett thinks I’m capable. They are even talking about promoting me to a lieutenant. I passed the exam a long time ago but I wanted to stay a paramedic. Most of the original guys have had to leave the program and take promotions to get more money. Brackett says he wants to keep me so I agreed.”

“It’s more responsibility so you should get more money but jeez, Roy, becoming an officer and leaving the ranks of us lowly firemen. How could you do it?”

Roy knew Chet was teasing. He didn’t even care about the money or the rank. He just knew that no one could ever replace Johnny and he’d give it all up in a heartbeat to have him back.

Johnny got off the bus at part of the route known as the Grapevine, high in the mountains. The air was clean and fresh here. He had discovered it years ago. This was his favorite vacation spot and he'd even thought he’d buy a cabin up here someday when he retired. They had switched drivers at the last stop so this guy hadn’t overheard anything about Montana. This was where he’d bought the ticket for. The driver got out with him to get the rest of his luggage. He had also spotted the white cane. “Is anyone meeting you?” he asked.

“My sister,” Johnny lied. “She’s always late. I’ll just wait here on the bench for her.”

“Okay if you’re sure, you’re okay.” The driver walked him over to the bench and set the heavy duffle down by his feet.

“Sure. I’m fine she’ll be along soon all full of apologies and then I’ll be able to guilt her into making my favorite meal for dinner,” Johnny assured him.

“Sounds like a plan,” the driver shrugged. He picked up the one passenger who was boarding here and soon the bus pulled away leaving a cloud of diesel fumes behind. Johnny dug out the last of Joanne’s sandwiches and ate it. Darn, that fictitious sister would come in handy about now. Once he was fortified, he put on his oversized backpack, slung the heavy duffle over his shoulder and picked up the white cane. He walked down the main street of the little town he’d visited so often. He knew that the trail that led to his favorite campsite was just past the second building from the bus stop. The building was a made of logs so it was easy to feel as he lightly ran his right hand over the structures he passed. He turned onto the trail. He moved slowly at first but then became more confident. He’d done this trail at night before and he did have a little vision so with judicious use of the cane he managed to find his favorite campsite and set up camp. He intended to force himself to become self sufficient. It was the only way to gain the confidence in himself that he needed. His duffle was full of dehydrated and canned food. When that ran out he’d make his way down the trail to the store. They knew him there. They’d take a check and even help him fill it out. His pension check was going to be directly deposited into his bank account so he was sure he’d make out just fine. He set up his tent and portable Sterno stove. He cooked himself some dinner. He was starving and everything always tasted so much better up here in the mountains. He felt the tension leaving his body as it always did here. He found comfort in nature in a way none of his L A friends could understand. He didn’t really understand it either. He just enjoyed it.

He hadn’t intended to lose track of time. He had even let the occupational therapist at Rampart talk him into getting a special watch. The crystal on the face of it would open up and he could feel the numbers to tell what time it was. He didn’t need it up here. He could tell the time by the feel of the sun on his body and the sounds that the animals made. He took a small hatchet with him when he left camp and notched the trees so he could feel the notches and find his way back. This was a trick his grandfather had taught him. He thought about the old man a lot. He began to remember all things he’d been taught. When he knew his grandfather, he had thought that being blind was the worse thing in the world but he’s grandfather always told him he wasn’t blind. He just couldn’t see. He didn’t understand that until now. He realized he wasn’t blind either. Not in a handicapping way. He just had to find other ways to see. He was more aware of the way the earth felt under his feet. He could find the game trails and stay on them to find water. More aware of the sounds and smells around him. He could run his hands over animal tracks and tell what made them and whether they were running or moving at a leisurely pace. He learned to pay attention to the birdsounds. Birds were a great early warning system if something was out of the ordinary.

He became reflective and happy in his solitude. His hair grew longer and his skin grew tanner. He no longer needed the white cane to get around. He could find his way easily using his grandfather’s methods. His vision grew imperceptively stronger. The change was so gradual that he didn’t notice it. His other senses had sharpened and he depended less and less on sight anyway.

He didn’t even miss human companionship as much as he once would have. He was discovering a whole new world and a whole new Johnny. That took up most of his time. He had gotten himself into a routine. He was on his afternoon trek back to his campsite. He was walking in a heavily forested area so he didn’t feel the sun on his skin but his stomach told him it was dinner time. He was trying to decide between canned and packaged when he thought he heard something. Actually it was the birds startling that got his attention. He cocked his head to listen. There was a cry that shouldn’t have been there. It was no bird or animal. It was human. He’d only come across one other human in the whole time he’d been here. That was a hiker and he’d managed to avoid him.

But this was a cry for help and he had to respond. It was coming from the ravine. He’d forced himself to walk up to it twice since he’d been here. At other times it had been one of his favorite spots. The view was spectacular but the view had no appeal for him any more. He had just wanted to prove to himself that he could handle a potentially dangerous situation and he had. His feet knew the feel of the rocks near the edge and when to stop so he was in no danger of falling over.

As he hurried to the ravine he realized that someone had probably fallen over and he had to help them. The sound of the voice got louder and louder. It sounded like a young girl and it sounded like she was panicking. She could fall all the way to the canyon floor if she did that. He had to calm her down. He got as close to the edge of the ravine as he dared. “Hey, there, what happened?” he called down the ravine.

Several teenage voices spoke at once but finally one girl answered. “Our rope broke and we slipped onto this ledge.”

He knew the ledge. It was only six or eight feet below the lip of the ravine. “Is anyone hurt?”

“No, we’re just stuck,” another girl called back up to him.

“How many of you are there?”

“Four.”

“Okay, don’t worry I can get you back up here. I just have to go back to my campsite and get some rope.”

“Well hurry, it’s almost dark. You’ll never find us again in the dark,” one of the girls sobbed.

“I found you this time. I can find you again,” he assured them. “And don’t worry. I used to do this kind of thing for a living.”

He made it back to his campsite in record time. His adrenaline was pumping. It was exhilarating to feel useful again. He was back at the ravine in just under 20 minutes. He tied the rope off to a sturdy tree and carefully lowered himself over the lip of the ravine and got ready to rappel down to the ledge. “ Keep talking so I can find you,” he called to the girls.

“We’re over here, about ten feet to your right, then straight down.”

He recognized this as the voice of the first girl he’d spoken to. She must be the leader of the group. He wondered what the heck they were doing way out here. It was a long way from the more popular hiking trails and camping areas. That was one of the things that always appealed to him. He never could understand people who went camping in camp grounds and brought all the comforts of home with them. “Okay, I can hear you. What are you girls doing way out here so far from everything?” he asked as he made his way to the ledge.

“We’re senior girl scouts. We were trying to earn our wilderness survival badge.”

“A badge huh?” he chuckled. It seemed like a stupid thing to risk your life for but then no one could ever tell teenagers anything. He was the same way at their age.

“We should NEVER have even come this far. I’ve said that all along, Pamela. Mrs. Perkins is going to kill us.”

“Look, Joanie,” Pamela began to retort but stopped speaking with a gasp as the girls got their first look at him.

“Are you an Indian?” another voice asked shyly.

“Yes ma’am,” he said, climbing farther onto the ledge.

“Is that why you can see in the dark?” she continued to question him.

“See in the dark?

“Yes. You said that you’d find us and it didn’t matter if it was dark or not.”

“Well, let’s say I can see as well in the dark as I can in the light. Come on let’s get you all off of this ledge and back up on the trail, shall we?” He loosened the rope that he’d tied around his waist and stepped out of the makeshift harness so one of them could step into it. “Okay, who’s first?”

Pamela went first, followed by Joanie, then Nancy who, he suspected had her eyes shut tight. That didn’t matter. As he had learned, lately, you didn’t always need to see what you were doing. Tina was the girl with all the questions.

Finally he had them all topside. Pamela had decided it was too dark to start down the trail so they’d spend another night at their campsite at the head of a little used trail and take off in the morning. They all agreed that their leader, Mrs. Perkins, would give them holy hell so they were all in favor of putting that off. They were all hungry and thirsty. They had made camp a short way from the ravine and they invited him to have dinner with them.

“That’s the best offer I’ve had all day,” he grinned. It wasn’t difficult for him to hear their shared whispers about how cute he was. When they mentioned his long hair he put his hands up on his head and followed his hair to his shoulders. He sure needed a haircut. The cap would kill him. He hadn’t thought too much about his friends from 51's lately but hearing the banter and feeling the comradeship among the girls made him realize how much he missed his friends. He had managed to avoid giving them his name when they introduced themselves on the ledge but as they sat around an overly smokey campfire they asked him again. For some odd reason he didn’t want to give them his name. Much as he missed his friends, he didn’t feel ready to come back to L A yet. “My grandfather called me Runs-like-an-elk. I used to run like the wind when I was a kid.”

The hot dogs they were serving tasted really great to him. There seemed to be plenty because they kept handing him more as soon as his hand was empty.

“I’m really surprised that you like hot dogs,” Tina commented.

“Why?” He had always liked them and they were sure a huge improvement over the canned and dehydrated stuff he’d been eating.

“I don’t know. I guess I always thought your people preferred to kill game to eat.”

“You really can’t believe everything you see in the movies. They generally get things all wrong. They like to portray us as savage killers but we aren’t.”

“It isn’t all bad stuff. Some of it is complimentary. Like the fact that Indians have lots more survival skills than white people. They can hunt and track and see in the dark...”

“Some can hunt and track. So can lots of white folks. As far as seeing in the dark -- that’s a misconception. A dangerous one too. Lots of my people served in Viet Nam. Because people believed garbage like that, they were almost always assigned the point when on patrol. The point is the first guy in line. The best target for a sniper. A lot of my people were killed just because people thought they had some kind of supernatural ability to see things that other people couldn’t see. So misinformation can be dangerous as well as insulting.”

Tina had lots and lots of questions about his heritage and lots of misinformation. He didn’t mind setting her straight about a few things. It wasn’t her fault she was so ignorant of the truth about Indians. It wasn’t exactly their side of the story that was reflected in the history books. And movies and TV, Chet’s source of information, were down right insulting in their portrayal of Indians. He took no offence where none was intended. One of the things that his grandfather preached was tolerance of others. He'd always said that differences were neither right or wrong, they were just differences. His people always did get along fairly well with whites. They were amused by their lack of experience at survival and their inability to find their way around without maps which were generally drawn by mountain men or explorers who were either drunk or lost themselves. Even, Chet, one of the most ignorant people he’d ever met when it came to walking all over the beliefs of others, was still a good friend when the chips were down. There was probably a lot to be said for tolerance. Too bad more people didn’t follow those tenants.

Suddenly one of the girls yelped excitedly. “Look -- a light!”

“Where?” Johnny asked.

“Way down the trail but heading this way. There. There. Can’t you see it?”

“No,” he said softly but his words were drowned out but the shrieks of the excited girls. When they quieted a bit he went on. “It’s probably a search party. Looks like you may just be rescued tonight. Build up the fire some more so they’re sure to see it.”

“They’d have never found us on that ledge. You saved our lives,” Nancy told him sincerely.

“Naw, they’d have found you if they got this far,” he assured them.

“Look, look there’s more lights now and they’re signaling us,” Joanie squealed excitedly pointing down the trail at the lights. Since he didn’t follow her finger she turned him in the right direction. “There see them now?”

“Sorry,” he shrugged.

“What are you, blind?” She was exasperated.

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“What?!” She passed her hand in front of his face. She could see by the light of the fire that he did not react to it. “Oh my God! I’m soooo sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m used to it,” he laughed, surprised that it was now the truth. He had some more thinking to do not that he realized that. “Look, just keep that fire blazing so they can see it and help will be here soon. I think I’ll split now.”

“Ohh, you don’t have to, do you?” Tina implored. She had lots more questions. Besides, she felt safer with him there. Plus he was really cute.

“Yes, I do,” he said standing up. He had coiled his rope and had it at his feet during dinner. He reached down and picked it up. It had sure come in handy this time. He might need it again.

“If you’re in trouble with the law or something, we won’t mention we saw you,” Pamela said suddenly. “Scouts honor.”

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

“Well, then what are you hiding from?” Pamela pressed on.

“A world of good intentions,” he said thoughtfully.

“What?”

“My friends. Everybody, even you, acts the same way. I mean it’s like if you’re blind, people think you can’t take care of yourself any more. They want to look after you. Do everything for you. They forget you’re the same person you always were. I’ve been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. I still can, they just don’t realize that. I’ve found that you can train yourself to do almost as much as a sighted person. Here, I’m independent -- free. I don’t want to give up my freedom just yet. Well, I’m sure you girls will be all right now. It’s been nice meeting you.”

“Thank you, Runs-like-an-elk, for everything,” Tina said sincerely.

“Do you want us to give a message to anyone? Your family or anybody?” Joanie asked.

“I don’t really have any family. My friends in LA think I’m on the reservation. My friends on the reservation think I’m in L.A. That way nobody worries. See ya.” With that he disappeared into the darkness and made his way back to his own campsite to do some more thinking.

But his friend in L A were worried. At least, Roy was. He began to feel a little antsy when three weeks went by with no word from Johnny. By the time six weeks went by he was really concerned. The trouble was, he didn’t know where Johnny was exactly. Montana was a big state. He remembered that much from fourth grade geography. He’d never asked Johnny about where his reservation was or what it was called. After Johnny’s go round with Chet he didn’t seem to want to talk about that part of his life and he’d never asked. It had felt like prying. He assumed that Johnny would tell him anything he wanted him to know. He didn’t know where to turn. He couldn’t go to the police and report him missing because he wasn’t missing just because Roy didn’t know where he was.

He was deep in thought about this at the nurse’s desk at Rampart one morning. He was letting his trainee run this call himself. He was still in a treatment room with the patient and Dr. Brackett who was, undoubtably, grilling him. The sound of a drug box slamming down on the desk next to him shook him out of his reverie. It was Charley. He was muttering under his breath.

“What’s the matter?” Roy asked him.

“Roy, what’s the penalty for killing your partner?”

Roy gasped a little. This subject was a little to tender for him but he hid it and acted interested in Charley’s problem. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Pete. He’s been so jumpy lately he has me on edge too.”

“What’s he jumpy about?”

“Pre-wedding jitters I guess but he’s driving me nuts!” Charley swore. “How’s your trainee working out?”

“Real good. I think he’ll be a real good paramedic -- an asset to the program.”

“Then why do you sound so apprehensive?”

“It’s nothing to do with him. It’s Johnny.”

“What’s wrong with Johnny?” Charley was concerned.

“Nothing that I know of. It’s just that I haven’t heard anything from him. I’m sure he’s busy and all but well --  hell, I don’t know anything about the reservation and life there -- do you?”

“Well, I never lived on one but we’d go visit my relatives quite a bit.”

“Where are they, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“El Cajon.”

“In California? I thought they were on a reservation.”

“They are, Roy. There are Indians in California too, you know.”

“I guess I didn’t. I don’t know much, I know. I feel like I should know a lot more. Johnny’s my best friend but there’s a whole lot I don’t know about him,” Roy admitted miserably.

“If you’re worried, why don’t you call the rez and find out how he is?”

“Do you have the number?” Roy asked hopefully.

“Not off hand but I’m sure you could find out.”

“How?”

“Well, you could call the police department in Hardin and ask for the number of the Tribal Council at the Crow Agency.”

“Crow?” Roy was completely bewildered.

“Not the bird, Roy. The Indians.”

“Yeah I know. I know.” Roy fudged. Up until this very minute he had no idea what Johnny’s tribal affiliations were. He was a little taken aback by the fact that Charley did. “I’m gonna do that first thing tomorrow morning when I get off shift. What’s the name of the town again?”

“Hardin. Johnny always said the locals call in Hard On though,” Charley remembered with a laugh. “Say hey to him for me when you talk to him.”

“I will. I will,” Roy vowed. Now he had something to go on and he could act. He felt a lot better. The rest of the shift seemed to last forever. He was very glad to sit down with a cup of coffee and the phone when he got home. With the help of a long distance operator he was able to get connected to the Sheriff’s Department that handled the Hardin area. He explained the situation to a sympathetic woman. She told him she’d call the Tribal Council Office and have someone call him back. He told them to be sure and call collect.

It was a torturous hour and a half before the phone rang. He accepted a collect call from Julie Springwater.

“Mr. DeSoto? You called about Johnny Gage.”

“Yes I did. See, I put him on a bus to go out there a month and a half ago and I haven’t heard anything from him. I don’t want to bother anyone. I just want to be sure he’s okay.”

“A month and half ago? I’m sure I’d have seen him if he’d been here that long. Sylvia at the Sheriff’s Department said something about him being blind?!”

“Yes. He had an accident at work. You see why I’m so worried.”

“Yes I do. I’m going to organize a complete search of the agency. Someone must have seen him.”

“Can you call me again when you find out....anything. Please.”

“Of course. It may take some time, though. We have a lot of ground to cover.”

“It doesn’t matter call me any time. Day or night,” Roy said urgently.

“I will and you mustn’t worry too much, Mr. DeSoto. I’ve known Johnny my whole life and he can take care of himself. He is blessed by the ancestors. I’m sure he’s all right.”

“Thank you,” Roy said, feeling somehow relieved by what she’d said. Johnny did seem to have someone looking out for him. He’d always thought that and somehow her words confirmed it.

It was a decidedly glum Roy DeSoto that walked across the apparatus bay to the locker room at Station 51 the next time A shift was scheduled to work. Captain Stanley, who was just coming out of his office could not fail to notice. “Why the long face, Pal?”

Roy debated with himself for all of five seconds about telling him what was wrong. They were Johnny’s friends too. They had a right to know. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mike and Marco coming in from the parking area behind the station. “It’s Johnny, Cap. He’s missing!” He blurted it out more abruptly than he intended to.

They were briefly distracted when Chet came running out of the locker room with a soaked Riley Kelso, the trainee, hot on his heels.

“Knock it off, you two,” the cap told them in no uncertain terms. “What the hell do you mean Johnny is missing?!”

“I called the reservation. He’s not there. They searched the whole place but no one has seen him. He never showed up there,” Roy told them miserably.

A barrage of questions hit him all at once. He couldn’t answer any of them. A few moments of mass confusion followed made even worse by the arrival of an exhausted C-shift who had been called out to a fire at 6 AM. They also had questions and concerns about Johnny. When silence finally settled over the distraught men the rookie spoke up shyly.

“Look, ah, my uncle is an FBI agent. He works missing persons. I can call him and see what he advises but after six weeks the trail could be kinda cold.” Riley knew all about Johnny and what had happened to him. He hoped that when he was finally assigned to a station the other guys there would be as fond of him as these guys were of Johnny. Within minutes, the rookie was sitting at the captain’s desk talking to the switchboard operator at the L A office of the FBI asking for Jim Riley, one of their top agents. He’d have never gotten through if he wasn’t family. He passed the questions Agent Riley had to the men and they answered as best they could. He also pointed out that the trail was fairly old but he did promise to look into the matter because of Johnny’s handicap. No one said it but they were all afraid that he had fallen victim to some sort of foul play between L A and Montana.

The FBI turned up nothing. Vince Howard had used his contacts with local police organizations to help get the word out. They even had a bunch of “missing” posters printed up and plastered them all over the local area and along the bus route to Montana but nothing turned up any leads at all. No one had tried to use his credit cards, withdraw any money from his bank account or charge any calls to his phone number. There was no paper trail to follow. It was as if he had disappeared off the face of the earth. Outwardly none of the men of Station 51 were prepared to give up on finding Johnny but inwardly they all knew that, odds were, they never would.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Roy had tried to keep his feelings of loss to himself at home. There was no point in upsetting the kids but his restless behavior and general anxiety did not get by his wife. She knew that he was grieving for Johnny and she tried to give him the time and space in which to do it. She kept the kids busy and out of his hair as much as possible and made up errands for herself to run so that he would have the privacy to punch the wall, to yell, to scream, to cry, to do whatever it took to let his feelings out and come to grips with the situation.

Roy was trying to work off his nervous energy. He even managed to get around to cleaning out the garage one morning while Joanne was off on an all day field trip with Chris’ class. It was a hot day so he decided to take a break inside in the air conditioned house. He absently poured himself a beer and went into the living room to see if there was anything on the tube. He stood in front of the TV turning the knob. Nothing but soaps. He flipped it off with disgust and went and sat in his favorite chair. He grabbed the paper from the old coal shuttle that Joanne had decorated and turned into a magazine rack. He’d already read the paper that morning. The only piece of news he was truly interested in -- Johnny being found alive and well -- was never there. He shoved it back into the shuttle. When he did, his daughter’s girl scout magazine fell onto the floor. He doubted there would be much in there of interest but it was something he hadn’t read. He wanted to do something to occupy his mind so he opened the magazine out of sheer boredom.

He came upon the story of four scouts who were rescued from a ledge high in the National Forest by a blind Indian hermit. The hair on the back of Roy’s neck stood up as he read the girls accounts of the man who had taken to the woods to escape his overprotective friends. They never gave the name of the hero but the rescue took place in one of Johnny’s favorite camping places. Could it be? His heart was racing and his palms became sweaty as he read the short article over and over. There was very little information at all about the 'hermit’, except that he’d been a runner as a child. Johnny was a runner. Could it be him? Could it? Part of him didn’t dare hope it was him. Another part of him was convinced that the hermit was Johnny. He didn’t trust his own judgement but he took the magazine to work with him the next day to see what the other guys thought.

“You suppose we drove him to the woods?” the cap asked seriously, after reading the article. “We sure didn’t mean to make him feel smothered.”

Roy didn’t even dare ask if they thought it was really him until they’d all had their say. They had been disappointed before by what seemed like promising leads.

“We don’t know this is him,” Marco pointed out cautiously. “This guy really knows his way around up there. He may have been up there for years.”

“Marco, Johnny’s been camping up there since he was 15 years old. He knows his way around.”

“And those girls said that the guy was handsome and told them he used to do that kind of work. That’s practically proof it’s him if you ask me,” Chet argued.

“Do you want me to call my uncle again and have him send up a task force to search for him?” Riley asked.

“No way. I have a feeling that if Johnny doesn’t want to be found a bunch of FBI guys couldn’t find him. He’d just lay low until they left. If anyone can find him it’s us. We have to go up there ourselves and try and find him.” Chet was insistent.

“You may be right, Pal. I think it’s worth the gamble. I know I couldn’t sleep nights thinking I drove someone out into the wilderness without trying to set things right,” the cap declared. “Who’s in?”

“I am,” Roy almost shouted.

“I’m willing to try. Even if it’s not him, at least we’ll know,” Marco said.

“I’m in,” Mike said simply. “I want to be there when Johnny hears Chet thinks he’s handsome.”

Chaos erupted at that point but the cap went into his office to arrange emergency leaves for everyone on A shift. Something like this had never been done before but he was damn sure it was going to be done now.

Riley was ready to graduate from the training program. Roy was sure he’d be a great paramedic. Under other circumstances, he’d be proud to have him as a partner but his mind was on Johnny, the only partner he really wanted. Once he knew that Johnny was all right, he’d take on another rookie. And another and another as long as he was in the program. No one would ever take Johnny’s place on a permanent basis for him.

Five days later the five permanent members of Station 51 found themselves packed tightly into the Land Rover and heading up to the higher elevations. Roy was antsier than Johnny had ever been as he rode shotgun next to Chet. For the hundredth time he looked at the map that he had forgotten all about. Johnny had given it to him once when he was considering taking the family on a camping vacation. Johnny had circled all of the popular camp grounds along the way. He had also as a joke, circled the area that he always went and marked it NOT FOR ROOKIE WOODSMEN. So they had someplace to start their search, but the area he circled was not a small area. They would have almost 60 square miles of heavily wooded area to search none of which could be driven to. It could take them a day just to hike in with all their gear and they had to be on duty in ten days.

They parked as close as they could then got their gear on and started the long hike up the mountains on one of the marked trails. Roy was sure that Johnny never used the marked trails but this was pretty rugged terrain and even a sighted person could fall over a cliff if they didn’t know it was there so safety dictated that they stick to the posted trails.

As the altitude got higher they found that they had to take frequent breaks. They wanted to find a good area to make camp before nightfall. Everyone was lost in his own thoughts as they took a water break. Chet dug into his back pack for a snack as he had each time they stopped.

“Better be careful, Chet, our food has to last for the whole trip. Don’t eat it all now,” Marco cautioned.

Chet snarled at him as he bit into a granola bar. They were supposed to give you energy but the tasted like something a horse should be eating. “Hey, guys,” he suddenly thought to ask. “There’s no stores out here, how does Johnny get food?”

“He always brought some food but I think he may have lived off the land to a certain extent when he came up here. Berries and stuff I guess,” Roy shrugged.

“Well, he can’t do that in winter and winter can be pretty snowy up at this elevation,” the cap stated.

“We’d better find him then,” Marco vowed.

They moved out with determination but a week later they had still found no sign of him and they were all privately beginning to lose hope that they would. They were all very quiet as they set up camp for the night. They had fallen into a routine by this time and they each took care of his own chore. Marco hauled the last of his frozen chili out of his cooler and put it into the large pot he also carried in the insulated cooler. Stoker had the fire ready so Marco set up the collapsible iron cook top over it and put the pot on to simmer. They’d have to make do with hotdogs tomorrow unless they could convince the cap to eat trout from one of the high mountain streams. Stoker had brought some fishing gear. Johnny had always raved about the fish here but the cap did have that thing about trout.

Marco stretched his sore muscles. He had never carried such a heavy load for so long or even been this high in the mountains. The view was great but he wasn’t sure it was worth all the work and all the bug bites just for that. He wanted to find Johnny as much as anyone else but there had been absolutely no sign of him. If it was him. If it was even here. He had to voice his discouragement. “These mountains are vast. You know those kids could have been anywhere when they ran into -- whoever they ran into. Even if it was Johnny, we have to face the fact that we may never find him.”

“Marco’s right,” the cap agreed sadly. “If we don’t find any trace tomorrow, we’ll have to head back.

“We’re either nowhere near him, or he doesn’t want to be found,” Chet grumbled, pulling off his shoes and socks and rubbing his sore feet. “My blisters have blisters,” he complained although no one was listening to him. He’d been making the same complaints for the past three nights. Everyone had blisters but only Chet felt the need to bitch about it. He was about to launch into a full blown tirade on the subject when an odd prickly feeling at the back of his neck caused him to turn around. He was sure it was a bear. He was deathly afraid of bears but never mentioned this to the other guys.

It wasn’t a bear but it was something that made him scream none-the-less. There, standing just outside of their campsite, leaning up against a tree was a half naked savage. Chet screamed but he couldn’t speak otherwise. All he could do was point.

They all followed his line of vision. They were also startled. They had never heard this guy approach and there was something eerily wild about him. He looked like something out of one of those historical pieces about Indians attacking settlers in the early days of the country. They were in the middle of the woods miles and miles from civilization. If they called for help no one would hear them. They stared at him for several minutes until the cap found his voice. He figured if this guy was some kind of ax murderer he would have attacked them by now. Maybe the best course of action was to try and make friends with him. “Ah Kimo Sabe, you’re welcome to join us for dinner,” he stammered.

The Indian started to laugh. They knew that laugh. Roy had been silently brooding about his disappointment and didn’t even look up from the tent he’d been setting up until that laughter filled the air. He got up and ran to Johnny had enclosed him in a bear hug that a grizzly would have been jealous of. The others ran to join them. Eventually they convinced Roy to let him go so he could breath and they walked him over to the fire in their campsite. They sat him down in a place of honor where they could all get a good look at him. If it hadn’t have been for the familiarity of his laughter, they wouldn’t have recognized him.

“We’ve been up here combing the woods for you for a week, Pal. How on hearth did you find us?”

“Well, Cap, there are two things in this world that a man never forgets. The smell of Marco’s chili and the smell of Chet’s feet. How could I miss you? That’s if I couldn’t have heard you two counties away,” Johnny teased them with a laugh.

“What do you mean the smell of my feet?!” Chet was clearly insulted.

“Don’t worry, Chet, I’m used to it but back there in the woods, wolves and grizzlies are fainting, as we speak.”

The others roared with laughter but Chet quaked with fear. “Th-there’s wolves and g-grizzly bears up here?” His voice went up four octaves.

“Believe me, they wouldn’t come near anything that smells as rank as your feet do!”

Chet was at a loss for words but for once Mike Stoker wasn’t. “And to think you said Johnny was handsome.”

“Those girl scouts said it NOT me,” Chet argued, finding his voice at last.

“Why, Chet, I never knew you cared,” Johnny teased again. The mention of the girl scouts answered his question about what the heck they were doing here. He never in a million years thought that they’d come looking for him but he was somehow very glad that they had.

“Me?! Me care? Not me, Pal. You got the wrong guy!” Chet sputtered as they all laughed at him.

The laughter died away and was followed by a long, awkward silence. Finally Johnny ended it. “Hey, if you guys aren’t going to feed me, I’ll just leave.”

“Oh no, you don’t,” Roy put his arm around Johnny’s shoulder. He wasn’t getting away that easily. “Marco, let’s feed this guy.” Roy dragged him over to the fire. Once he was no longer standing in the shadow of the trees, he looked more like a shirtless guy in cut off jeans than Hollywood’s version of an Indian on warpath.

“Coming right up. Someone get another plate out of the supply pack.” Marco snapped into action.

Mike went over to get the extra plate. Darkness came quickly in the mountains and it was upon them now. The pack was not in the area of the campsite illuminated by the fire so he grabbed a large flashlight and switched it on to see what he was doing. Mike inadvertently shined the light into Johnny’s face. He winced and looked away.

Roy’s jaw dropped and he grabbed the flashlight, startling Mike into saying “Hey!”

“Johnny, can you see this?” He flashed the beam at Johnny again.

“Ahhh, it hurts my eyes.” Johnny put his arm up to shield them.

“You didn’t used to react to light at all? Has you vision improved?” Roy demanded anxiously.

“I don’t know. I usually stay in the deep woods where everything is dark and shadowy. I figure I’m on even footing with everything else that way.”

Roy pulled his arm down and shined the light into his face again. “Johnny! Your pupils react to light just like they are supposed to!”

“Roy, I can’t see you,” Johnny told him. He’d accepted things the way they were and he didn’t see any point in Roy getting the wrong idea. He knew he wasn’t blind. He just couldn’t see. Just like his grandfather.

“Yeah but, Johnny, this is a big improvement. I don’t want to get your hopes up but there’s a new procedure. It’s not as dangerous as the other one and since your pupils are reacting now, it might be able to help you,” Roy told him excitedly.

“You mean I could see with my eyes again?”

“There’s a good chance.”

“And I could be a paramedic again. I’m sure I haven’t forgetting anything. I’d be willing to take a refresher course if they thought I needed it,” Johnny offered. He was getting excited. He knew deep down that anything else he could have come up with to do with the rest of his life would never replace doing rescue work for him. He’d known it ever since he’d rescued those girls who were stuck on the ledge. That was what he really wanted to do.

“Don’t get too excited, Johnny,” Roy cautioned, “but Dr. Early tells me that this operation has about an 80% success rate.”

“80%? Those are pretty good odds,” Johnny said.

“They sure are, Pal,” the cap agreed. He hadn’t heard about this new operation but evidently Roy and Dr. Early had discussed it. “Would you like to come back with us and give it a try?”

“Would I? When can we leave?” Johnny was eager.

“Not till morning. There’s no sense tramping around in the dark,” the cap chuckled. This sounded like the old Johnny.

“I’m used to it,” Johnny pointed out.

“We’re not. No point in you having to pull us out of a ravine. That was you, wasn’t it, Pal?”

“Yeah, it was me. Was that what made you come looking for me?”

“We’ve been looking for you for months, when you didn’t show up at the reservation ---”

“How did you know that?” Johnny asked.

“I called and talked to Julie Springwater,” Roy told him. “Do you know her?”

“Sure. I’ve known her all my life. We even got married when we were six,” he remembered with a laugh. “But why did you even call?”

“He was worried about you, ya twit. We all were,” the cap told him.

“I thought I had things all worked out so that no one would be worried,” Johnny said with disappointment.

“Well, instead everyone was worried. What ever possessed you to pull such a bonehead stunt?” the cap wanted to know.

“I- I just needed some time and space to get my head together. It’s hard to do that with people hovering around trying to do everything for you. I- I wanted to come to terms with this the way my grandfather did. I- I feel closer to him in the wilderness. This isn’t exactly Medicine Tail Coulee but it’s just as peaceful. I’m sorry that you worried but this was just something I had to do,” he told them knowing that they could never understand fully. They came from a different world than he did.

“We never meant to make you feel smothered,” the cap said for them all.

“I know you didn’t but it would have been too easy to let myself turn into an invalid if I hadn’t done this. Don’t you see. I HAD to learn how to take care of myself.”

“I understand,” Roy said, although he didn’t really. Johnny had his reasons and that was good enough for him. “But when we get back you’d better give Julie a call and tell her you’re okay. Believe me I know how wives can be when they don’t know where you are,” Roy laughed.

“How come you didn’t tell us you were married, Gage?” Chet asked.

“Well, it didn’t turn out the way we’d planned. We saw the presents the bride and groom got at a wedding the weekend before but since we didn’t get any presents we decided to get unmarried. I kinda doubt the prairie dog that conducted the ceremony was licensed anyway,” Johnny laughed. He’d forgotten about that whole episode.

Two days later they were tying the contents of two campsites to the roof of the Land Rover trying to make room inside for six men to sit. Johnny patted the old vehicle fondly. He’d missed it. “Hope Chet takes good care of you now that you’re his, ol pal,” hr said quietly.

“Well, since I didn’t know how to get in touch with you to make payments, technically it’s still yours. If all goes well with the operation, I fully expect you to repossess it,” Chet said firmly.

By midafternoon they were pulling into the parking lot at Rampart. They had tried to convince Johnny that showers might be in order since they’d all been in the woods for a while but he wouldn’t be put off. He had to know about this operation. He was insistent and they gave in to him. They wanted to know, too.

They hadn't told anyone at the hospital that they were going to look for Johnny in case they couldn’t find him or the hermit turned out to be someone else. As far as the hospital staff knew, Johnny was missing and presumed dead.

Since the ER was bustling with people and other obstacles, Roy had to guide Johnny to the nurse’s station. Dixie McCall was leaning over some charts trying to catch up from the mad rush of patients they had just had.

“Hi Dix,” Roy greeted her.

“How was your vacation?” she asked without looking up. Then she wondered what he was doing here on his time off. That and the unmistakable whiff of unwashed bodies made her look up. When she did look up she gasped at the sight of the wild looking, long-haired character with him.

The strange man raised his right hand and solemnly said “How?”

It was like something out of a B-western. Had Roy come across and injured Indian on his vacation? She looked at him quizzically for some explanation.

“Dix, it’s Johnny,” Roy declared.

She noticed he was beaming with happiness and that the other guys from the station were just a few feet behind them. She looked from one to the other of the unkempt looking bunch in disbelief then she did something none of them were prepared for. She got up and ran around the desk and threw herself into Johnny’s arms and hugged him warmly.

Johnny laughed and returned the hug. “Hey, Dix, if this is kind of greeting I’m gonna get, I’m gonna go away more often.”

Dixie finally found her voice. “Oh no, you’re NOT! We missed you. We’ve all been worried sick,” she scolded him.

“You tell him, Dix!” Chet cheered her on as she lashing into him. She didn’t make any attempts to break out of the hug though, they all noticed.

Soon Dr. Brackett and Dr. Early came out of Kel’s office and joined the reunion.

“The prodical son returns,” Dr. Early said affectionately.

“More like the blind man in search of a miracle,” Johnny said a bit more seriously.

“Doc, his pupils react to light now,” Roy explained hopefully.

The meaning of Roy’s statement was not lost on the doctors. “Come on, Cochise, let’s get you into a treatment room and give your eyes a proper exam,” Brackett said steering him toward one of the rooms. “I would have never known you with all that hair,” he teased.

“Little thing like that would have thrown you, Doc? I wonder which one of us is blind,” Johnny returned in a good natured tone of voice. Stupid stereotypes were the least of his worries at the moment. He wanted to find out the truth about his condition. That was all that mattered to him now.

“Touché,” Brackett smiled.”

The examination showed marked improvement. He was definitely a candidate for the new operation.

In sixteen days the operation was completed and it was time to take the bandages off. Since he’d been disappointed before, Johnny asked to do this himself alone in his hospital room while his friends waited outside in the hallway.

Johnny had been alone for a long time now and he wanted to be able to compose himself in case the operation hadn’t worked. He knew his friends would be as disappointed as he would but he wanted to be the first to know no matter what the outcome was. He sat cross-legged in his hospital bed with the bandage scissors in his hand for several minutes. He took a deep breath. He though of his grandfather all of a sudden. His grandfather had taught him to face whatever the world threw at him head on. It would dishonor his grandfather’s memory to do less than that now. Whatever happened, he was the same person he always was and he would deal with it.

His hand was shaky as he raised it to the side of his head. He worked one of the blades under the heavy bandages and began to cut after he’d said a short prayer of thanks to his grandfather for all that he’d done for him.

Four short snips were all it took for the bandage that was wrapped around his head to fall away. He put the scissors back down on the bed and reached up and pulled the patches off of his eyes. At first, everything was blurry but it seemed much lighter than he remembered it could be. He blinked furiously and rubbed his eyes once. Then things began to slowly come into focus. He wasn’t sure if it was the unaccustomed brightness that was making his eyes water of the joy of seeing things again. He continued to sit and he wiped the tears away as the most beautiful hospital room he’d ever seen came into view. Everyday objects were suddenly works of art to him. He could see. He could see.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there and marveled at everything but he had the sudden urge to share his joy. He ran to the door and yanked it open. Before anyone could even ask he began throwing himself at them and hugging everyone in sight, including one very confused orderly who’d never laid eyes on him before. Everyone talked at once. Johnny’s eyes were not the only ones that were tearing.

All of his things were back in his apartment by the time he got out of the hospital and he threw a party to end all parties for the friends who had worried about him and come looking for him. They sure as hell hadn’t forgotten him as he had once feared. He wanted to make it up to them for all he’d put them through. Julie Springwater and a few of his friends from the reservation even showed up for the party. Vince Howard stopped by in his uniform and pretended he was answering a complaint from a neighbor but since they were all at the party he couldn’t quite pull it off. Johnny was sure that he could never be happier.

But he was even happier the day he walked back into Station 51 to take up his old position. Roy had resigned as a training officer although he was able to keep the new rank while Brackett fine-tuned the training program even more. He’d insisted that Roy was his first assistant in the program so the rank was still appropriate.

At first he felt like a kid in a candy store as he noticed one detail after another that he’d forgotten about the station but when he opened up a kitchen cabinet to get a cup for coffee and was hit in the face with a water balloon, he knew he was really home and that things would go back to the way they’d always been. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

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